Random Thoughts?
As I sit here with insomnia (as was predicted, and I even took my Benadryl) I feel the need to post some random thoughts. For those of you who are not interested, sorry there's no cut, but I just can't remember how to do it, because I so rarely have the need to use it.
1. I had a dream about my ex-wife last night. I haven't spoken to her or heard from her in quite some time.
2. I will never be able to move back to the U.S. and be self-employed as I am due to not being able to get any of my regular maintenance medications. If I were to move back, I would have to give up online teaching and get a job at a company that offered health insurance. Interesting thing - According to one of my students from Russia, who is a doctor, you don't need prescriptions in Russia to get most drugs, just like here in Mexico. You go to the pharmacy and ask for what you need. Also like in Mexico, drugs are cheap. She said that Russia was going to try to impliment a law regarding perscriptions like the U.S. has but it didn't go because then sales would plummet. I think that is the main reason drugs are so expensive in the U.S. that we can't afford them without insurance - because of the prescription law. If people didn't need perscriptionis, sales would skyrocket allowing pharmacutical companies to sell them to make at prices affordable for consumers.
The approximate cost of my drugs per month in the U.S. = $800 USD
The approximate cost of my drugs per month in Mexico = $80 USD
The approximate cost of my drugs per month in the U.S. WITH insurance = $100 USD (This does NOT include the cost of the insurance.)
Anyone else see a problem here?
3. I am happy in my job, but unhappy in my social life. In the U.S. I was unhappy in my job and happy (for the most part) in my social life. I don't know where I can go to have both. Or, I don't know how to meet people, so wherever I go I will be alone unless I go back to Kansas City. If I do that, I have to give up my job and my company. (See number 1.) Yeah, yeah, go places, meet people, get a hobby, whatever. Going to bars and sitting by myself or going to clubs and standing by myself, going to the movies by myself, or going to sit at Starbucks by myself does not help me to meet people or make friends. Trying to meet people online doesn't help either. So, I don't know what to do. The one person I did meet doesn't do much of anything... Its kind of weird in Mexico - its like people don't have friends - they just have the people they work or worked with or went to school with. They only see each other at special occasions, like weddings, huge-ass birthday parties (were a bunch of people you don't know sit around at tables and talk) and baptisms of their children. Other than that, they just spend time with their families or at work. Then why do we see them out and about? They are couples or families or college age kids. Apparently single 30-somethings are out of luck. They live with their families anyway. Heaven forbid anyone move out and be independent!
4. I realized recently that the main thing I have always been missing in my life is a family. I've never really had one. Now, I don't mean the 2-parents-2.5-kids-and-a-dog kind of family. For instance, even as a child I had little to no sense of family. I had a sister who was 6 years older. She moved out when I was about 12. When we lived together we ignored each other or fought. My parents were at work, and when I became a teenager, I started doing my own things. There was never any real connection. Not for me, anyway. I mean, we went on family vacations - mostly to visit grandparents who lived far away - and we had a few things we did. The truth is, I don't remember a lot from my early childhood. I don't remember a lot from before high school. I guess that is also one of the reasons I feel so detached from my immediate family.
The family I'm talking about I had a taste of in KC when BladeStone and RJ and I lived together. We were like family. It worked. However, it wasn't exact as someone never left his room except to go to work when he had a job. I'm in need of about 4-5 family members, close to me in age (furries preferred) to all live together in a house (my cats included). We would have very close relationships and do things together and be a part of each others' lives. (A pride of lions comes to mind - without the cubs, of course...) This would be no "furry-flop-house" either - no couch surfing allowed. This is a group of responsible adults each paying their share, working hard and sharing thier lives. We would live similarly to the way my 4 cats do - I mean the way they see each other as family.
Am I the only one who thinks this way and has the need or desire for this type of family?
Well, I think those are all the thoughts I have been having lately. At least the ones I can remember at 2:20 a.m. DAMN INSOMNIA! *sigh* I might have to find a stronger sleep aid than Benadryl.
1. I had a dream about my ex-wife last night. I haven't spoken to her or heard from her in quite some time.
2. I will never be able to move back to the U.S. and be self-employed as I am due to not being able to get any of my regular maintenance medications. If I were to move back, I would have to give up online teaching and get a job at a company that offered health insurance. Interesting thing - According to one of my students from Russia, who is a doctor, you don't need prescriptions in Russia to get most drugs, just like here in Mexico. You go to the pharmacy and ask for what you need. Also like in Mexico, drugs are cheap. She said that Russia was going to try to impliment a law regarding perscriptions like the U.S. has but it didn't go because then sales would plummet. I think that is the main reason drugs are so expensive in the U.S. that we can't afford them without insurance - because of the prescription law. If people didn't need perscriptionis, sales would skyrocket allowing pharmacutical companies to sell them to make at prices affordable for consumers.
The approximate cost of my drugs per month in the U.S. = $800 USD
The approximate cost of my drugs per month in Mexico = $80 USD
The approximate cost of my drugs per month in the U.S. WITH insurance = $100 USD (This does NOT include the cost of the insurance.)
Anyone else see a problem here?
3. I am happy in my job, but unhappy in my social life. In the U.S. I was unhappy in my job and happy (for the most part) in my social life. I don't know where I can go to have both. Or, I don't know how to meet people, so wherever I go I will be alone unless I go back to Kansas City. If I do that, I have to give up my job and my company. (See number 1.) Yeah, yeah, go places, meet people, get a hobby, whatever. Going to bars and sitting by myself or going to clubs and standing by myself, going to the movies by myself, or going to sit at Starbucks by myself does not help me to meet people or make friends. Trying to meet people online doesn't help either. So, I don't know what to do. The one person I did meet doesn't do much of anything... Its kind of weird in Mexico - its like people don't have friends - they just have the people they work or worked with or went to school with. They only see each other at special occasions, like weddings, huge-ass birthday parties (were a bunch of people you don't know sit around at tables and talk) and baptisms of their children. Other than that, they just spend time with their families or at work. Then why do we see them out and about? They are couples or families or college age kids. Apparently single 30-somethings are out of luck. They live with their families anyway. Heaven forbid anyone move out and be independent!
4. I realized recently that the main thing I have always been missing in my life is a family. I've never really had one. Now, I don't mean the 2-parents-2.5-kids-and-a-dog kind of family. For instance, even as a child I had little to no sense of family. I had a sister who was 6 years older. She moved out when I was about 12. When we lived together we ignored each other or fought. My parents were at work, and when I became a teenager, I started doing my own things. There was never any real connection. Not for me, anyway. I mean, we went on family vacations - mostly to visit grandparents who lived far away - and we had a few things we did. The truth is, I don't remember a lot from my early childhood. I don't remember a lot from before high school. I guess that is also one of the reasons I feel so detached from my immediate family.
The family I'm talking about I had a taste of in KC when BladeStone and RJ and I lived together. We were like family. It worked. However, it wasn't exact as someone never left his room except to go to work when he had a job. I'm in need of about 4-5 family members, close to me in age (furries preferred) to all live together in a house (my cats included). We would have very close relationships and do things together and be a part of each others' lives. (A pride of lions comes to mind - without the cubs, of course...) This would be no "furry-flop-house" either - no couch surfing allowed. This is a group of responsible adults each paying their share, working hard and sharing thier lives. We would live similarly to the way my 4 cats do - I mean the way they see each other as family.
Am I the only one who thinks this way and has the need or desire for this type of family?
Well, I think those are all the thoughts I have been having lately. At least the ones I can remember at 2:20 a.m. DAMN INSOMNIA! *sigh* I might have to find a stronger sleep aid than Benadryl.