confuzzeled
so ... I was told to LIVE MY LIFE... now I am.. now I am trying to be interested in people(which is pointless because I wont be around in a few months)..so .. well... I dont know how to react to this whole situation.
andrew and I are friendly. good . That is great.. . but like I spoke to him and found out that he was coming to NC. to visit our friend alex who is leaving the country for good. I asked him if It would be weird if I came down too.. I want to see alex, but seeing andy would be fun too.. He said "I dont want it any other way".. or something close to that... What does that mean..
Sarah told me today that when he went to Vegas with a friend and Saw his ex.. Spent A LOT OF TIME WITH HER..... he told her that he wanted to be with her again... he didnt tell me.. even after we started being social again. I am really hurt. I tell him a lot. And he leads me to believe that he tells me jsut about the same. That his life is almost completely open to me. I think he didnt tell me because I told him that he would be completely out of my respect if he did that. I understand his concern.. But he is a grown man, if he is gonna do the deed, he needs to be able to take the concquences. If he wanted bre back and she turned him down, then he knew what would have happened if I knew. He was obviously ready to get rid of me, my friendship, my relationship with him, because he obviously wanted her to take him back. Well from hear say, she turned him down, so he comes to me.. And tells me that he had the ephiany. That he realized on his own that he didnt want bre. That is a bigger lie than I want to handle.. I will ask. and I have to believe him. Bre down make things into a bigger deal than they probably should. So I will ask andy about it..(not this weekend ... I want to enjoy my time with him) I just hope that he will be honest. no matter the consequences.. I would want to say that even if he tells me it was true that I could still not care. But then I would know that everything else he said is/was a lie. That I matter so much to him. that I have been there for him and he wouldnt know what to do without me. Because, if he tries to take bre back, he is wanting her to take him. If that happened, andrew knew with NO DOUBT, I wouldnt and refused to be his friend. And then it would all be a lie.. im not sure I want the answer. I want it to be untrue.. blown out of proportion. But if it is true... I would rather know now then later....it just sucks.. I thought we were on the same page with our friendship AT LEAST~!!!! FUCK
andrew and I are friendly. good . That is great.. . but like I spoke to him and found out that he was coming to NC. to visit our friend alex who is leaving the country for good. I asked him if It would be weird if I came down too.. I want to see alex, but seeing andy would be fun too.. He said "I dont want it any other way".. or something close to that... What does that mean..
Sarah told me today that when he went to Vegas with a friend and Saw his ex.. Spent A LOT OF TIME WITH HER..... he told her that he wanted to be with her again... he didnt tell me.. even after we started being social again. I am really hurt. I tell him a lot. And he leads me to believe that he tells me jsut about the same. That his life is almost completely open to me. I think he didnt tell me because I told him that he would be completely out of my respect if he did that. I understand his concern.. But he is a grown man, if he is gonna do the deed, he needs to be able to take the concquences. If he wanted bre back and she turned him down, then he knew what would have happened if I knew. He was obviously ready to get rid of me, my friendship, my relationship with him, because he obviously wanted her to take him back. Well from hear say, she turned him down, so he comes to me.. And tells me that he had the ephiany. That he realized on his own that he didnt want bre. That is a bigger lie than I want to handle.. I will ask. and I have to believe him. Bre down make things into a bigger deal than they probably should. So I will ask andy about it..(not this weekend ... I want to enjoy my time with him) I just hope that he will be honest. no matter the consequences.. I would want to say that even if he tells me it was true that I could still not care. But then I would know that everything else he said is/was a lie. That I matter so much to him. that I have been there for him and he wouldnt know what to do without me. Because, if he tries to take bre back, he is wanting her to take him. If that happened, andrew knew with NO DOUBT, I wouldnt and refused to be his friend. And then it would all be a lie.. im not sure I want the answer. I want it to be untrue.. blown out of proportion. But if it is true... I would rather know now then later....it just sucks.. I thought we were on the same page with our friendship AT LEAST~!!!! FUCK