"Oh let the sun beat down upon my face... I am a traveller of both time and space"
I hate winter so much. Its cold, its dark, and its wicked depressing. I can already feel it bringing me down. Its so strange how something so beautiful can be so harsh. I love watching the snow fall and seeing it shimmer in the moonlight at night, but as soon as you're tempted to go outside to enjoy it you're enveloped in this dry, bitter air that sucks the breath out of your lungs. I love the crunch of snow beneath my shoes and the sound of the snow plow going up the street late at night; or the crackling of the woodstove at home. And its the only time you can actually see yourself living... see your breath as you exhale that cold air. But there is no light... or not enough of it. I feel myself slipping into this person that just wants to lay in bed all day, not eating, not being productive, not being the social animal I usually am...
And that is why I love summer so much. Why even just the thought of that warm ocean breeze on my naked arms, legs, and feet can make any winter day seem absolutely perfect. Everything is so colorful and alive in the summer... people are out and in love, the grass is that deep green that calls out to you to lay in all day, the sun shines everywhere, the rain is warm enough to play in, and you can walk around w/ no shoes... and that is happiness. No shoes. No shoes on the tar, in the grass, on the deck, and especially in the sand. The sand is so warm and it just flows through your toes and has this effect that warms your whole body. And I love the ocean... its so inviting, so intriguing, so amazingly beautiful... and thats mother nature. The ocean. So full of life and power with her waves crashing up against the sunbacked rocks. The rocks that have been smoothed down so you can see their years of wear and tear... or the ones that have been stripped of their rough edges, which allows you to skip them over the tide that is slowly making its way in and out. And you teach your little brother and sister to do the same and laugh as they tell you about how they got it to skip once... and you're so proud... and that is home. Home, where you smell of freshly cut grass and you wouldn't have it any other way. Home, where the days are hot and the nights are cool. Home, where the ocean meets the rocky edges of the Maine coastline...
I know it all so well and that is why I cannot wait to leave. I cannot wait to travel all over this country next year when I'm doing Americorps. And if I don't get to do Americorps I'm still going to travel. I want to see all the other natural beauty that this world has to offer. If Maine, just one state, can be so compelling and so undeniably breathtaking, just think of what the other places in this country alone have to offer?! I want to see the giagantic Redwoods and Pacific coastline. I want to see Mount Rushmore. The Grand Canyon. Yellowstone. The farms of the Mid-West. The Rockies. The Plains. And after I'm done with that I want to see the color green that can only be seen in Ireland... the green hills and grass it is known for. I want to drink in a real Irish pub. I want to hear Irish songs and stories... I want to feel the culture, not read about it. And then I'd love to see Big Ben, the pyriamds, the mediterrean, the black forest, the eiffel tower, the great wall, the rainforest, the mayan ruins, the outback, the great barrier reef, the Andes, the roman architecture. And if I don't see all of that, thats ok- I just want to experience as much as I can. And in between all of that I want to meet new and different people who see life in a different perspective then myself. I want to struggle through pain and come out of it with new strengths. I want to feel love of all kinds... passionate, grueling, sensual, deep love for others, from others, for and from the earth. I want to see that love being made by watching an artist paint at the beach, a singer playing on the street for quarters, a mother and child's bond at the park, a basketball player sweating with all her passion for the love of the game and not just the win, children laughing and playing with no inhibitions, a man with tears in his eyes from a movie, an elderly couple holding hands and walking down the street, and so much more...
But, here I sit at school taking tests and reading text books about all of that. And as much as I hate it and as much as it makes me feel so crazy and bored its ok b/c it has to be. I'm not going to let this last semester of school be something I loathe and detest just b/c its school. I'm going to get what I can out of it, make amazing memories with all my friends, learn something I never knew, make something happen and graduate from college, which my parents never did. I'm going to make them proud.
Its only 5 months... and then its summer. And we all know how I feel about SUMMER...
And that is why I love summer so much. Why even just the thought of that warm ocean breeze on my naked arms, legs, and feet can make any winter day seem absolutely perfect. Everything is so colorful and alive in the summer... people are out and in love, the grass is that deep green that calls out to you to lay in all day, the sun shines everywhere, the rain is warm enough to play in, and you can walk around w/ no shoes... and that is happiness. No shoes. No shoes on the tar, in the grass, on the deck, and especially in the sand. The sand is so warm and it just flows through your toes and has this effect that warms your whole body. And I love the ocean... its so inviting, so intriguing, so amazingly beautiful... and thats mother nature. The ocean. So full of life and power with her waves crashing up against the sunbacked rocks. The rocks that have been smoothed down so you can see their years of wear and tear... or the ones that have been stripped of their rough edges, which allows you to skip them over the tide that is slowly making its way in and out. And you teach your little brother and sister to do the same and laugh as they tell you about how they got it to skip once... and you're so proud... and that is home. Home, where you smell of freshly cut grass and you wouldn't have it any other way. Home, where the days are hot and the nights are cool. Home, where the ocean meets the rocky edges of the Maine coastline...
I know it all so well and that is why I cannot wait to leave. I cannot wait to travel all over this country next year when I'm doing Americorps. And if I don't get to do Americorps I'm still going to travel. I want to see all the other natural beauty that this world has to offer. If Maine, just one state, can be so compelling and so undeniably breathtaking, just think of what the other places in this country alone have to offer?! I want to see the giagantic Redwoods and Pacific coastline. I want to see Mount Rushmore. The Grand Canyon. Yellowstone. The farms of the Mid-West. The Rockies. The Plains. And after I'm done with that I want to see the color green that can only be seen in Ireland... the green hills and grass it is known for. I want to drink in a real Irish pub. I want to hear Irish songs and stories... I want to feel the culture, not read about it. And then I'd love to see Big Ben, the pyriamds, the mediterrean, the black forest, the eiffel tower, the great wall, the rainforest, the mayan ruins, the outback, the great barrier reef, the Andes, the roman architecture. And if I don't see all of that, thats ok- I just want to experience as much as I can. And in between all of that I want to meet new and different people who see life in a different perspective then myself. I want to struggle through pain and come out of it with new strengths. I want to feel love of all kinds... passionate, grueling, sensual, deep love for others, from others, for and from the earth. I want to see that love being made by watching an artist paint at the beach, a singer playing on the street for quarters, a mother and child's bond at the park, a basketball player sweating with all her passion for the love of the game and not just the win, children laughing and playing with no inhibitions, a man with tears in his eyes from a movie, an elderly couple holding hands and walking down the street, and so much more...
But, here I sit at school taking tests and reading text books about all of that. And as much as I hate it and as much as it makes me feel so crazy and bored its ok b/c it has to be. I'm not going to let this last semester of school be something I loathe and detest just b/c its school. I'm going to get what I can out of it, make amazing memories with all my friends, learn something I never knew, make something happen and graduate from college, which my parents never did. I'm going to make them proud.
Its only 5 months... and then its summer. And we all know how I feel about SUMMER...