Little flashing zero on my answering machine...
I am the biggest frickin' loser ever! The other day I spent a good hour reading the first few months of this journal when I first made it and I am so glad I'm not that cool anymore. I was so fucked up then though... like for real. I still think I'm all ghetto (even though I'm not), but some of the stuff I said and the way I said it gave me a good laugh. I was either drunk or high like every day then too. It's crazy how you don't think you've changed much in just a couple years, but I really have. I may still be really immature, but I feel like I've grown up quite a bit if that makes any sense. I've been thinking about deleting a lot of those old entries, but that was me at one point so I'm not going to just erase memories whether good or bad. I have a hard enough time remember the past as it is. Yeah, its weird I don't remember much of anything from my childhood... like at all. Pretty much from the age of 11 or 12 and back I only remember certain things happening and most of those memories are w/ my friends and in which case I only remember those things happening b/c my friends have jogged my memory.
Our memories are such odd things anyway. Memory is like the only reason that I am still excited about being a psych major... I did an experiment with it a couple semesters ago and next semester when I take research methods I think I might do something with it again. I've also been thinking about trying to do something with the internet and how its making our generation emotionally numb. I really think that our generation is going to be fucked up b/c of AIM and text messaging and e-mails... we just don't show emotions. I know I've totally become closed to crying and letting myself break down when I need to. Like today I found out some info from the doctor that freaked me out real bad and I cried some, but didn't let myself totally break down and later on at the gym I thought, "I'm really good at pretending everything is ok, but I really wish I was upset" but just couldn't make myself be. I dunno if thats b/c I don't know if it has anything to do w/ my dependency on the internet or not, but it very well could.
So today has been not ok. First of all its the day that Jeanine's best friend John died 3 years ago so obviously its a hard day mostly because of that. Its just a hard time of year for her, so its just not fun. Second, the news from the doctor which I know if you read this will be freaking out and wanting to know just b/c I'm not saying it, but sorry I'm not saying it. But honestly don't worry much, I'm just like the biggest hypochondriac EVER and the doc even said she wasn't worried much at all. So Hakuna Matata!
I DID beat Jeanine at chess twice though so hey thats a positive for sure. I wish I had someone to play Lord of the Rings monopoly with b/c I know Jeanine doesn't have time and doesn't really like monopoly much. Any takers? Let me know b/c I LOVE monopoly... its like my favorite game. I like Sorry!... and now chess (even though I suck and have NO strategy). Whatever, I really just wish my XBOX hadn't broke b/c that thing was GREAT. I loved playing football so much. I had made a player and a team and EVERYTHING. go figure. At this point its probably just cheaper to get a new one b/c it takes so much to ship it and get it fixed. whaaaaaaaaaaatever.
I can't believe Christmas is a week from Sunday... how did that happen?!!! damn. I can't believe I had all my shopping done before Thanksgiving too... that NEVER happens. I'm usually the shop-on-Christmas-Eve kinda girl haha. I do still need to get Jeanine's dad something, but I won't see them until New Years Eve so that can wait. Also, I wanna get my little sibs and my niece some outfits from Old Navy on my way home on the 23rd or maybe before that if I get some time off from work considering that Augusta is only 45 min. away from here... I could go whenever really.
Ok well this post turned out way longer than I thought it would, so I'm gonna shut up b/c its way too long.
peace OUT
Our memories are such odd things anyway. Memory is like the only reason that I am still excited about being a psych major... I did an experiment with it a couple semesters ago and next semester when I take research methods I think I might do something with it again. I've also been thinking about trying to do something with the internet and how its making our generation emotionally numb. I really think that our generation is going to be fucked up b/c of AIM and text messaging and e-mails... we just don't show emotions. I know I've totally become closed to crying and letting myself break down when I need to. Like today I found out some info from the doctor that freaked me out real bad and I cried some, but didn't let myself totally break down and later on at the gym I thought, "I'm really good at pretending everything is ok, but I really wish I was upset" but just couldn't make myself be. I dunno if thats b/c I don't know if it has anything to do w/ my dependency on the internet or not, but it very well could.
So today has been not ok. First of all its the day that Jeanine's best friend John died 3 years ago so obviously its a hard day mostly because of that. Its just a hard time of year for her, so its just not fun. Second, the news from the doctor which I know if you read this will be freaking out and wanting to know just b/c I'm not saying it, but sorry I'm not saying it. But honestly don't worry much, I'm just like the biggest hypochondriac EVER and the doc even said she wasn't worried much at all. So Hakuna Matata!
I DID beat Jeanine at chess twice though so hey thats a positive for sure. I wish I had someone to play Lord of the Rings monopoly with b/c I know Jeanine doesn't have time and doesn't really like monopoly much. Any takers? Let me know b/c I LOVE monopoly... its like my favorite game. I like Sorry!... and now chess (even though I suck and have NO strategy). Whatever, I really just wish my XBOX hadn't broke b/c that thing was GREAT. I loved playing football so much. I had made a player and a team and EVERYTHING. go figure. At this point its probably just cheaper to get a new one b/c it takes so much to ship it and get it fixed. whaaaaaaaaaaatever.
I can't believe Christmas is a week from Sunday... how did that happen?!!! damn. I can't believe I had all my shopping done before Thanksgiving too... that NEVER happens. I'm usually the shop-on-Christmas-Eve kinda girl haha. I do still need to get Jeanine's dad something, but I won't see them until New Years Eve so that can wait. Also, I wanna get my little sibs and my niece some outfits from Old Navy on my way home on the 23rd or maybe before that if I get some time off from work considering that Augusta is only 45 min. away from here... I could go whenever really.
Ok well this post turned out way longer than I thought it would, so I'm gonna shut up b/c its way too long.
peace OUT