consuming
My nervousness and regrets about quitting at sampan are starting to get the best of me. My fear of change is completely real and very soon. I don't know whats going on, and I might look for another job at a restaurant.
My reasons for regret about sampan have nothing to do with the fact that I want to keep my job; it's all about my regulars. Santa and his wife, the David's, the snowmobilers, mark, spike, all of them. I also am slightly hurt that mark hasn't tried to sway my decision.
Speaking of my regulars that I haven't quite mentioned here. My nightmares have been terrifyingly realistic as of the past two evenings.
About a month and a half ago I told Tom (one of my regulars) that I didn't think talking was a good idea, as he is married, with a child, and very much interested. I told him it would only cause tension between our relationships with others; which is the blatant truth. He insists that his feelings for me are beyond what I think, and that it is "weak" for us to stop talking. I assured him that regardless, we aren't to be speaking anymore. He followed me yesterday twice, and possibly a third time. We spoke twice and during which neither time was he demanding or threatening, but I was intimidated regardless. My mind fears far more than what it should. What have I gotten myself into. I've been kidnapped, raped, attacked, and beaten by the same man in at least five dreams in the course of two nights, mostly during last night. David doesn't feel that he's a threat; just an admirer and I want to believe that as I don't think he is capable of becoming violent but at the same time my dreams are telling me everything but that.
Summers almost here and I'm hoping that with all of my stress of finishing this semester, my worry of him will go.
Don't tell me it doesn't matter
I'll tell you what matters
Bare feet in the summer
Open windows at night
My reasons for regret about sampan have nothing to do with the fact that I want to keep my job; it's all about my regulars. Santa and his wife, the David's, the snowmobilers, mark, spike, all of them. I also am slightly hurt that mark hasn't tried to sway my decision.
Speaking of my regulars that I haven't quite mentioned here. My nightmares have been terrifyingly realistic as of the past two evenings.
About a month and a half ago I told Tom (one of my regulars) that I didn't think talking was a good idea, as he is married, with a child, and very much interested. I told him it would only cause tension between our relationships with others; which is the blatant truth. He insists that his feelings for me are beyond what I think, and that it is "weak" for us to stop talking. I assured him that regardless, we aren't to be speaking anymore. He followed me yesterday twice, and possibly a third time. We spoke twice and during which neither time was he demanding or threatening, but I was intimidated regardless. My mind fears far more than what it should. What have I gotten myself into. I've been kidnapped, raped, attacked, and beaten by the same man in at least five dreams in the course of two nights, mostly during last night. David doesn't feel that he's a threat; just an admirer and I want to believe that as I don't think he is capable of becoming violent but at the same time my dreams are telling me everything but that.
Summers almost here and I'm hoping that with all of my stress of finishing this semester, my worry of him will go.
Don't tell me it doesn't matter
I'll tell you what matters
Bare feet in the summer
Open windows at night