my shell
I am stressed b/c I have started dating again and I dont know if I am reallt ready for this...I kinda like being alone sometimes b/c I dont have to go back out there and get shut down again...and plus I find something about a guy and I dont like and I just keep thinkin about it until I dont wanna see them again. I dont wanna do that again...but when I wasnt dating I was in my little shell safe...I didnt let people know that I was lookin for anymore...I just acted like I had a boyfriend soo guys would leave me alone. But this time I think I found someone I really like...but I get nervous and scared and worry about things and I will ruin it somehow. Thats just how I am. Debbie isnt use to me dating but shes proud of me for stepping back into that world again...and Kelly has been very helpful to keep me from backing out on things just b.c I am scared of changing my life. I am excited about liking someone new but I want know what to espect....I have only ever really had one relationship with someone and thats all I knew. But maybe this is good for me I hope. Everyone always tells me to be confiendent in myself b/c more people will respect me and look up to me...but its hard when I feel like everyone already looks down on me. Tonight is gonna be the night that changes me or makes me go back into my safe shell. I just dont know. I wish I didnt think about things too much. This guy is pretty awesome he makes me smile and laugh....and I just wish I didnt feel like a million different feelings....Dont get me wrong when I found out he liked me I was smiling for ever and I to tell my best friends right away. wish me luck!