Hands
"Relax. I'm right fucking here."
I turned to place the voice, but in the darkness,
I couldn't seem to reach your mouth.
"No, no, you're slipping away, God-damn it,"
but I could feel my words weren't bouncing off
your ears as closely as they once did.
I took off my shirt to bare my chest
and moved into a seductive position.
"It's okay, you're beautiful,"
though you didn't reach your hand out to caress me.
In a panic I switched on the light,
and I knew that I shouldn't have,
because nothing good ever came of seeing everything.
All that lay next to me was my cat,
and he looked at me with a knowing glance,
then went back to cleaning his paws.
This bed is big, and I decidedly went to sleep on the couch
where I could lean against the sofa
as if we were back to back.
I moved my hand down, under my clothing
and touched myself the way that you always had,
and closed my eyes and thought of you.
You moving your fingers and having a sense of purpose.
You making me writhe with pleasure and pulsate until I came.
I finished, but it was only because for a moment
I forgot that I was alone, on my couch,
and breathing heavy into my big, empty living room.
Now, with my hand sticky and warm,
I dried my tears and closed my mind
and went to sleep as if you had just turned to say,
"I'm here again."
I turned to place the voice, but in the darkness,
I couldn't seem to reach your mouth.
"No, no, you're slipping away, God-damn it,"
but I could feel my words weren't bouncing off
your ears as closely as they once did.
I took off my shirt to bare my chest
and moved into a seductive position.
"It's okay, you're beautiful,"
though you didn't reach your hand out to caress me.
In a panic I switched on the light,
and I knew that I shouldn't have,
because nothing good ever came of seeing everything.
All that lay next to me was my cat,
and he looked at me with a knowing glance,
then went back to cleaning his paws.
This bed is big, and I decidedly went to sleep on the couch
where I could lean against the sofa
as if we were back to back.
I moved my hand down, under my clothing
and touched myself the way that you always had,
and closed my eyes and thought of you.
You moving your fingers and having a sense of purpose.
You making me writhe with pleasure and pulsate until I came.
I finished, but it was only because for a moment
I forgot that I was alone, on my couch,
and breathing heavy into my big, empty living room.
Now, with my hand sticky and warm,
I dried my tears and closed my mind
and went to sleep as if you had just turned to say,
"I'm here again."