The me i never talked about till now :-/
Been doin a lot of thinking, and finding out alot about myself. So im just gonna come clean. Im not gonna hide it ne more. Not just from who ever reads this shit.. but from myself
Im affraid of failier! Im affraid to go to school,im affraid to try new things... cuz i might fail, and ill never forgive myself. I dont have confidence. When i do fail, ill lie to myself, to a point where ill lie to someone else and say i did fine. I give up too easily. I dont know how to break this.
Im affraid to get into a real relationship. Im affraid ill get hurt. its hard for me to trust guyz. ive seen or heard so many ppl gettin hurt from past or from present relationships. Close friends, family, u name it. Im scared to get into one. Why do you think i havn't been with ne one sence Chris? Thats why i havn't been with just one guy. Ive been with alot. Not talkin sexual either. I dont wanna get attached. I dont wanna get real close to someone, where i can spill my guts to, and tell him eveything, then one day hes not there. I want it.. dont get me wrong. It will just take time.. or the right guy to help me get through my fears. Im scared of rejection. Ive gotten rejected from a few guyz i really liked. And it hurts. U cant tell me it wouldn't hurt you. Telling someone how you really feel for them, and then having them say they the dont feel that way. I wont give names.. they know who they are. It sux. It really does. Id tell myself, yet again, Id lie to myself, and say..maybe he needs time, or, hes hiding it, or something. I DONT FUCKIN KNOW!!! I hate this.
wow... now everyone knows
laugh.. do what you want. I had to get it out somehow
bye
Oh yea.. i finally have an interview tomarrow at the YMCA for the Day Care Center.. go me.. hurrray... yaya..... umm yea.. not in the mood for celebrating.. could just be settin myself up for failier again...
to make matters worse.. my best friend is mad at me. And i know she has a reason to.. but its hard when i cant do ne thing. See, i was suppose to start school in January, and we were gonna do a tap dance class together, now shit happened, money got tight, and i have to miss the rest of this year, and hes stuck in the class by herself... well without me that is.
IM SORRY! there isn't ne thing i can do about.. I TRIED, and i told you i got in fights with my parents about school.. IM SORRY!!! what else can i do? Ur my best friend Chantel... u know i wouldn't just drop this if i could help it. please understand
Im affraid of failier! Im affraid to go to school,im affraid to try new things... cuz i might fail, and ill never forgive myself. I dont have confidence. When i do fail, ill lie to myself, to a point where ill lie to someone else and say i did fine. I give up too easily. I dont know how to break this.
Im affraid to get into a real relationship. Im affraid ill get hurt. its hard for me to trust guyz. ive seen or heard so many ppl gettin hurt from past or from present relationships. Close friends, family, u name it. Im scared to get into one. Why do you think i havn't been with ne one sence Chris? Thats why i havn't been with just one guy. Ive been with alot. Not talkin sexual either. I dont wanna get attached. I dont wanna get real close to someone, where i can spill my guts to, and tell him eveything, then one day hes not there. I want it.. dont get me wrong. It will just take time.. or the right guy to help me get through my fears. Im scared of rejection. Ive gotten rejected from a few guyz i really liked. And it hurts. U cant tell me it wouldn't hurt you. Telling someone how you really feel for them, and then having them say they the dont feel that way. I wont give names.. they know who they are. It sux. It really does. Id tell myself, yet again, Id lie to myself, and say..maybe he needs time, or, hes hiding it, or something. I DONT FUCKIN KNOW!!! I hate this.
wow... now everyone knows
laugh.. do what you want. I had to get it out somehow
bye
Oh yea.. i finally have an interview tomarrow at the YMCA for the Day Care Center.. go me.. hurrray... yaya..... umm yea.. not in the mood for celebrating.. could just be settin myself up for failier again...
to make matters worse.. my best friend is mad at me. And i know she has a reason to.. but its hard when i cant do ne thing. See, i was suppose to start school in January, and we were gonna do a tap dance class together, now shit happened, money got tight, and i have to miss the rest of this year, and hes stuck in the class by herself... well without me that is.
IM SORRY! there isn't ne thing i can do about.. I TRIED, and i told you i got in fights with my parents about school.. IM SORRY!!! what else can i do? Ur my best friend Chantel... u know i wouldn't just drop this if i could help it. please understand