(no subject)

Dec 24, 2004 23:50

RANDOM...
1.First grade teacher's name: I dont remember
2. Last person you kissed: no comment
3. Last word you said: ya
4. Last song you sang: Paperdoll- Kittie
5. Last person you hugged: Drew
6. Last thing you laughed at: I dunno
7. Last time you said 'I love you': and meant it.. a lil while ago like a few weeks
8. What's in your CD player: MSI
9. What socks are you wearing: ummm socks
10. What's under your bed: a shit load of stuff
12. Current taste: pink lemonade
13. Current hair style: normal
14. Current clothes: jncos and a black shirt
15. Annoyance: the ringing in my ears
16. Current longing: no comment
17. Current desktop: system of a down
18. Current worry: What the fuck have i done
19. Current hate: emotions
20. Story behind your live journal username: my nickname
21. Current favorite article of clothing: my jncos
22. Favorite physical feature of the opposite sex: eyes
23. Last CD that you bought: hmmmm msi i think
24. Favorite place to be: anywhere as long as im with friends
25. Least favorite place: alone anywhere
26. Time you wake up in the morning: 6:30 during the week and whenever the fuck i feel like it otherwise
27. If you could play an instrument, what would it be: drums
28. Believe in an afterlife: sorta
29. Current favorite word/saying: PIMP
30. Favorite book: my journal
34. One person from your past you wish you could go back and talk to: Brian from treatment
35. Favorite day: Friday
36. Where do you want to go: anywhere but here
37. What is your career going to be like: hopefully in music
38. How many kids do you want: 1 or 2
39. What kind of truck will you have: the one with the viper engine
40. Type a line you remember from any book: War is Peace, Ignorance is Strength...
41. A random lyric: "Why does everyone feel like my enemy? dont want any part of depression or darkness, ive had enough, sick and tired, bring the sun or im gone or im gone" World so cold- Mudvayne
42. Eye Color: sunburst
43. Hair Color: burgandy (faded)
44. Righty or Lefty: Righty
45. Zodiac Sign: Cancer
46. Innie or Outtie: Innie

DESCRIBE...
47. Your heritage: Russian
48. The shoes you wore today: my boots
49. Your hair: shoulder length
50. Your weakness: love
51. Your fears: being alone
51. Your perfect pizza: stuffed crust meat lovers
52. One thing you'd like to achieve: true love

WHAT IS..
53. Your most overused phrase on aim: 0.o
54. Your thoughts first waking up: FUCK *crys* why am i not sleeping
55. The first feature you notice in the opposite sex: Eyes
56. Your bedtime: School days: 10 weekend: whenever
57. Your most missed memory: many

YOU PREFER...
58. Pepsi or coke: Pepsi
59. McDonald's or Burger King: Burger King
60. Single or group dates: Single
61. Adidas or nike: Adidas
62. Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Lipton Ice Tea
63. Chocolate or vanilla: Chocolate
64. Cappuccino or coffee: neither

YES OR NO
65. Smoke: yes
66. Cuss: Yes
67. Sing: Yes
68. Take a shower everyday: lol no
69. Have a crush: Yes
70. Who is he/she: *covers mouth*
71. Think you've been in love: unfortunately
72. Want to go to college: i dunno
73. Like high school: Sorta
74. Want to get married: i dunno
75. Type with your fingers on the right keys: never
76. Think you're attractive: kinda
77. Think you're a health freak: pft hell no
78. Get along with your parents: kinda
79. Play an instrument: Yes

IN THE PAST 3 MONTHS, DID YOU OR HAVE YOU...
84. Go on a date: Yes
85. Eaten an entire box of Oreos: No
86. Eaten sushi: no
87. Been dumped: No
88. Made homemade cookies: No
89. Been in love: yup
90. Gone skinny dipping: No
91. Dyed your hair: yup
92. Stolen anything: yup

HAVE YOU EVER..
93. Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: Yes
94. Been caught "doing something": No
95. Been called a tease: Yes :-)
96. Gotten beaten up: mosh pit count?
97. Changed who you were to fit in: No

GENERAL INFO...
98. my name is: Rachel AKA Kasper
99. height: 5'6
100. favorite toe: pinky toe
101. in the morning i am: cranky
102. all i need is: Love
104. if i could see one person right now: if you know me well you already know
105. i dream about: either sex or killing someone *shrug*

MORE HAVE YOU EVER-S...
108. been in love: yes
109. cried when someone died: no
110. lied: Yes

WHICH IS BETTER...
111. flowers or candy: flowers
112. tall or short: Tall

OPPOSITE SEX...
113. last person u slow danced with: fuck if i know

DO YOU EVER..
120. sit on the internet all day waiting for someone special to I.M. you?: Yes
121. save aol/aim conversations: Yes
123. wish u were a member of the opposite sex: i dunno
124. cry because of someone saying something to you: Yes

MORE Have You Evers...
125. fallen for your best friend: a couple times
126. been rejected?: Yes
127. rejected someone: Yes
128. used someone: No
129. been cheated on: Yes
130. cheated on someone: kinda
131. done something u regret: Yes

WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON...
132. you talked to on the phone: Ashley
133. hugged: Drew
134. you instant messaged: drew i think
135. instant messaged you: Jenn
136. you laughed with: myself

Do You...
137. color your hair: Yes
138. ever get off the computer: Yes
139. habla espanol: Si

Do You/Are You...
142. could u live without the computer: probably, i would ust want to music off of it
143. how many people are on ur buddylist: 82
144. what's your favorite food: italian
145. whats your favorite fruit: strawberries
146. drink alcohol: Yes
147. like watching sunrises or sunset: Yes
148. what hurts the most, physical or emotional pain: Emotional
149. trust others way too easily: sometimes

hey everyone,
I havent really been updating lately
havent been home to do so
But i guess im alright, not in the best of times, shit is really confusing in my life right now and im not dealing with it well, i just became a senior in highschool, at 16 mind you, its kinda wierd. Well here, this is something i wrote a while ago, its not directed to anyone before you jump to conclusions

I watch him as he steps away
away from me and our past
his eyes sumon tears and flow down his face as he sees me walk away
he calls to me
"dont do it, i love you, my heart would never mend"
so i laugh back to him
"you liar you dont care, at least thats what you told me in the past"
the litium has been taken
my veins opened
as i now lay in the warm tub
my blood flows out so beautiful and red
so i laugh and drink up
I play my song so loud
singing along to the meaningful words that help me through
Paperdoll by Kittie playing through to the underworld because im not scared to die
only once has my heart been this calm knowing freedom is near
and that was when i was with you
you holding me
getting a kiss lasting in my head for years
i am now happy as i take my last breath
knowing ill be with you
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