Howard's spent the entire morning running around, making apologies for the weird way his friend was acting last night. No, he's not sure when Zouichi decided to grow a villainous goatee. Yes, he'll talk to Zouichi about fixing the section of the Med Bay that done got 'sploded. No, he didn't know Zouichi had kidnapped Sakura and tied her to a set of railroad tracks. Yes, Allenby, he's sure babies between you and Zouichi will be quite adorable. No, he doesn't know when the Warehouse got converted into a burlesque house and WAITWAITWHAT
Oh, Howard is so displeased with Zouichi right now.
Zouichi, for his part, was wiping down the bike, apparently oblivious to Howard's distress. He turned at the sound of Howard's voice, giving him a little wave. "Hey. What's what about?"
"Uh. The fact that you started running some kind of cathouse out of my home. The fact that Allenby has hickies the size of cockroaches on her. The fact that Sakura just put up a 'Wanted' poster for you for all the non-slop food on the ship. Um, I don't know, Zou, take your pick what's what about!"
He pauses. "At least you got rid of the trash stache and soulpatch."
Zouichi gave Howard this look, like maybe the sleep deprivation had finally gotten to him and he'd blown that last fuse. "You got more cats? Can I come see them?"
He paused. "'Trash stache'? You know I don't have any facial hair. Are you sure you're all right?"
"No, not that kind of - oh, whatever." He pulls out his omnicomm and pulls up the recent feeds, including Sakura's 'Wanted' poster for Zouichi. "Ringing any bells? Or am I just supposed to believe your evil twin did it?"
Just then, there was a rustling in the nearby bushes, and a man who looked almost exactly like Zouichi leapt out. "I say," he said, stroking his beard contemplatively, "The resemblance is remarkable."
"But I'm afraid," said the man, twirling his (already fairly twirled) moustache, "That there's only room for one of us in this multiverse."
He raised a sinister-looking blunderbuss at Zouichi, hand already on the trigger. "I'm a sporting gentleman, so I suppose I'll give you the head start. I'll give you to the count of ten, young man... and then we begin the most dangerous game."
Howard's well aware, on a logical level, that Zou would be very hard to kill with a gun. On the other hand, there's a certain instinct that comes from seeing your friend's doppelganger level a gun at your buddy.
That instinct seems to be to fling his backpack at Evil!Zouichi's head while yelling "god, invest in some shaving cream or something! You look like freaking Zorro oh god please don't shoot me!"
The gun went off with a deafening roar, firing into the air as the bag struck the man with the goatee. "Whelp! I'll have you know you're talking to the greatest hunter there is: Ihciouz Eonak!"
Zouichi tried to take the man out with one solid punch to the midsection, but the man merely skidded backwards, aiming his strange, loud gun. Eonak fired; Zouichi dived to the side as a nearby tree exploded, drawing his gravity pistol in response.
"I have all the explanation you need, if you'll just stay still, boy," snarled Eonak, readying himself for a second shot. The thunderous report of his gun echoed through the City, but it missed again.
Zouichi used the opportunity to catch the man in a flying tackle -- he wanted an explanation, dammit! -- sending the two of them rolling into the nearby brush.
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Oh, Howard is so displeased with Zouichi right now.
"What the hell was that all about?"
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He appeared to have shaved off his goatee.
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He pauses. "At least you got rid of the trash stache and soulpatch."
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He paused. "'Trash stache'? You know I don't have any facial hair. Are you sure you're all right?"
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"What."
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He raised a sinister-looking blunderbuss at Zouichi, hand already on the trigger. "I'm a sporting gentleman, so I suppose I'll give you the head start. I'll give you to the count of ten, young man... and then we begin the most dangerous game."
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That instinct seems to be to fling his backpack at Evil!Zouichi's head while yelling "god, invest in some shaving cream or something! You look like freaking Zorro oh god please don't shoot me!"
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Zouichi tried to take the man out with one solid punch to the midsection, but the man merely skidded backwards, aiming his strange, loud gun. Eonak fired; Zouichi dived to the side as a nearby tree exploded, drawing his gravity pistol in response.
"Cease fire! I demand an explanation!"
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