(no subject)
I think if I could just grow an inch or 5, I'd be a lot happier. I'm coping with how we put Becca down real weirdly. I cry randomly and it's always when I'm driving. It sucks. I don't like that she's not here when I come home late at night. I don't like that there's not little black dog hairs all over my clothes fresh out of the dryer. And I really don't like that my mom has already moved her food dishes and washed her bed. I now sleep with her bed cover. I've had her for 15 years. It's amazing how fast it happened. I didn't sleep well last night. I slept at Mike's the other night, if I had slept at home I knew I wouldn't have been able to sleep. He calmed me down. Last night was hard. Some people have to have fans on when they go to bed. Or the TV. I used Becca's breathing. There was no panting at 1AM when I would randomly wake up. Even though there was no randomly waking up because I didn't sleep. I did eventually close my eyes for about 2 hours when I had to wake up and go to work. It's going to be a lonely summer without a little friend. I'm trying hard to not break again, but I know it'll happen.
Becca 8-28-93 - 6-13-08 RIP little baby <3
Becca 8-28-93 - 6-13-08 RIP little baby <3