(no subject)
I think. I think and I think. It's all I do. Things could be going outstanding, as they are now, but I think. And when I think, shit happens. I sit here and I cry. There's no reason to it whatsoever. Everything's changing, my friends are changing, my life in changing. My world is changing and I refuse to change with it. I can't handle this anymore. I think too much. I think too much for my own good. I wish I could change that about me. I wonder what my life would be like if I never met any of you. If I was the same Tori as I was freshman year. I loved my life, but for the wrong reasons. I wasn't a good person. But I was happy. Does that make sense. I don't think it does. I don't make sense anymore. Nothing about my life makes sense anymore. I'm happy. There's someone who likes me for me. But why aren't I satisfied. What the fuck is wrong with me. I feel like there's nothing I can do. Lately I've been worrying about everything that hasn't even happened yet. The future scares the shit out of me, but it's all I want. I need summer, as fucking lame as that sounds. Seasonal depression has hit me hard this winter. I haven't slept well in the past 4 weeks and insomnia is coming back. Ugh, I'm such a loser.