I Might Get Your Heart Racing [Jensen/Jared]
Title: I Might Get Your Heart Racing
Author:casiedearestfic
Pairing: Jensen/Jared
Rating: PG13
Warnings: Teacher!Fic
Words: 3100
Summary: (AU - Teacher/Teacher) ::: Let you put your hands on me, in my skin tight jeans, be your teenage dream tonight.
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the boys. All characters belong to respective copyrights.
Notes: Written for notjustroomates's September prompt; Back to School. Title and lame excuse of a summary by Katy Perry.
Jensen's fingers tremble slightly as he works on straightening his tie. It's a motion practiced heavily; done once, twice, three times a day for the last four years. He knows that the knot is impeccable, that the color matches his jacket, which match his shoes, which match his car. He knows he looks fine, he'll do fine, he'll be fine, but first days of school are always a wrack of nerves. It'd been hard when he was a student, and had gotten no easier, now that he was teacher.
He was comfortable with his classes, and generally knew what he was talking about. He was blessed to be teaching the grade eleven students; old enough to be through with a new-found love for teenage rebellion, yet young enough to still be shapeable, like they cared, like education mattered. It wasn't his class, his job, his grade eleven students that had his palms sweating and his knees weak. It was the grade nine classroom down the hall, full of bright eyed hopefuls, willing to learn, and stone-set delinquents, ready to set fire to their textbooks. None of that mattered, though, not really, because it wasn't the students that affected Jensen so thoroughly.
Mr. Padalecki had always been a bright start to Jensen's mornings, all humor and warmth, and a smile that lit up the staff room. He was charming and trustworthy, and more than a little beautiful, and eventually, he'd become the reason for Jensen buying so many new ties. Jensen doesn't like to think about it now; all the shared moments of stolen silence, all the double-sugar, double-cream, all the promises that some day, something more would happen. Because when Mr. Padalecki got transferred to the private school across the city, Jensen lost all hope.
Until he remembered a moment when he was young, all of seventeen years old, scared and unsure and lost, on the front steps of Dunham High. It'd been a short move, really, an hours's drive at most. He knew he could visit his old school, his old house, his old friends every weekend, if he wanted to. But it wouldn't be the same, going to school, sitting in the lunchroom, without Jared by his side. Because Jared was the boy who made life worth it. Jared was good to him, even if only in private. Jared would smile at him, all warm and soft and honest, as he'd walk by with his friends. And more than anything, Jensen missed that.
He missed it before even setting foot in the school which Jared's smile had never lit the halls of.
Until, one day, it did.
It'd been a typical day, a lonely day, and dark and boring, simple day. Jensen had been slumped in his chair at the back of the class, pen tracing over lines already darkened and weak. The teacher had cleared his throat, a sound that went unnoticed, until he followed it up with the words Jensen hadn't considered possible.
"Class, this is Jared. He'll be joining us here for the rest of the semester."
"Uh, hey," Jensen caught up to Jared later, still unsure if Jared wanted to be seen talking to him. In school... in their old school... Jared's friends had been... well... exclusive. They weren't mean or terrible people, never gave Jensen a hard time, and they'd be good to him on the off chance that he'd get partnered up with one of them in class. But, they were what they were, they were who they were, a solid group of Joker, Flirt, Brooder, etc, and perhaps all the spots had just been filled up. Jensen learned quickly that although they seemed friendly enough, they weren't looking to hire, and unfortunately... he knew it'd always be that way.
"Hey!" Jared grinned back, slowing his stride to match up with Jensen. "We're in the same home room!" Jared stated the obvious, and Jensen was hit with a sudden wave of desperation. For what, however, he wasn't sure.
"Yes, I... I've noticed," Jensen mused, slowing his own pace, as Jared's matched again. "And, um... why?" He questioned softly, stopping completely, in the dead center of the hall. "I mean, why... why are you... why'd you switch schools?"
Jared looked over Jensen's shoulder for a minute, out the window and into the green, grassy courtyard. It was where all the cool kids spent their lunch break, playing guitars and eating tacos, smoking their camels and throwing their frisbees. It'd only be a matter of time, Jensen knew, before Jared was out there, one of them. A matter of time.
"Got bored," Jared shrugged, as if changing schools because you were bored was something usual. "And... I ran out of options there," he added, more vaguely now, as his focus fell back to Jensen's face. "I like this school much better," Jared grinned, a playful expression that lit up his entire face.
"There's... there's nothing here for you," Jensen warned honestly, knowing that their old school had all the best scholarship programs, all the best sports teams, all the best cheerleaders, and really... Jensen should be going now. "But I guess you'll work it out, nice seeing you," Jensen finished quickly, turning on his heels to put as much distance between himself and Jared as possible. He'd left him once, he'd lost him once, he'd spent years watching him, wanting him, waiting for him, and never once had it paid off. Now would be no different, Jensen knew, only this time, he was smarter.
"You're such an idiot," Jared called out loudly, laughing as Jensen stopped in his tracks.
"What?" Jensen turned, shoving his hands deep into his pockets as he looked down the length of the hall, vision split erratically by the random bustle of students cutting between them.
"It was their rules, not mine," Jared started, taking a step forward. "They made the decisions, they made the calls," he continued, walking briskly now as Jensen could do nothing but stand still and wait. "And now they're not here, Jensen," Jared explained as the distance between them finally disappeared. "Now it's just you and me."
Jensen's breath hitched as Jared's hands spread wide over his shoulders, pushing and pinning him back against the white-washed wall of the science hallway. It was a moment from Jensen's fantasies, the maybe-some-day hopes and dreams he'd always kept to himself. But now, now it was a reality, as Jared's lips brushed over his.
Jensen closed his eyes, leaning back heavily against the wall, as Jared's mouth moved over his. It was a kiss that was chaste and experimental, but unbelievably certain all the same.
Jensen's entire body chilled as Jared pulled away, smiling softly, in that warm, secretive way, as the bell for afternoon classes sounded through the halls.
Eventually, they were pulled apart by the onslaught of students and teachers on-route, but it was okay... it'd all be okay... because this was the high school fantasy, the one that always ended well. In the movies.
It wasn't okay, of course, because life wasn't scripted, and college acceptance letters weren't planned. They'd spent a single summer wrapped up in each other, late nights, long movies, bags of skittles and a lot of condoms. It'd been a perfect two months, putting a shadow of dullness over the nights that Jensen had so stupidly fantasized about for so long. They were best friends, they were amazing lovers, and the ring on Jensen's finger had been the tangible proof of it.
Jared had proposed to him, in a way that was half-assed and playful. It wasn't quite official, they knew, due to the fact that it took place in a rapidly uninflating bouncy castle, and Jared's love you speech had included something about shoelaces, and possibly salad. But, it wasn't a joke either, not really, not quite, because the ring had cost Jared hundreds, Jensen knew, despite the fact that Jared continually shrugged it off, calling it a Cracker Jack prize. It wasn't that, and never would be, because as serious as the moment may not have been... the intentions most certainly were.
Come the middle of August, however, the letter from West Chester showed up on the table. They put off opening it for a time that went unmeasured, hours, days, weeks, before realizing that leaving an envelope sealed was not the way to stop summer from ending. And when they'd finally cracked it open, everything had changed.
They'd tried long distance for a while, making the nine-hour trip at any point possible. They'd rack up their phone bills, spending long hours without saying anything, just being connected. They'd send letters and presents, dumb shit that had no meaning, other than the fact that it smelled like Jared. But eventually, life had happened, and they weren't the lovestruck teenagers that they once used to be.
The distance wore them down before reality did, and once reality hit, there was no turning back. Jensen got a job filing papers at a company based not far from where he lived. It was a simple job, one which gained him no respect, but he made money, and he made friends, and that was the year in which he started buying ties.
Jared's sister got married not too long after that, and Jensen would never even have known if she hadn't called him herself.
Things fell apart after that. They'd go months without speaking, until months turned into years. And eventually, Jensen's twenty-ninth birthday rolled around, and the ring that had settled heavily and comfortably over his finger for so goddamn long had found it's way to the bottom of the junk drawer.
Jensen wasn't a kid anymore.
He'd gotten a lucky break when he'd shown up at the wrong place at the wrong time. He'd been applying for a computer tech job at a local public high school. There'd been a shuffle of papers, and a flurry of voices, and not two weeks later, he was in front of a class. Teaching, of all things.
It'd been easy and casual for the first year, and he was honestly surprised by the fact that he hadn't realized that this was what he'd been destined for all along. It came to him naturally, simply, and thank god for that.
It wasn't until the first semester of his second year that things got a little more complicated.
His focus had hitched on a bright, yellow sticker, a brand new name label pasted along the bottom of one of the staff room mail boxes. He knew that name, he loved that name, he'd once vowed to himself, and a certain shaggy-haired, deep-dimpled best friend that he'd take that name one day. It couldn't be the same, though, there wasn't even a chance. No way could this be the same J. Padalecki.
It was the same J. Padalecki, and Jensen's feet felt heavy as the realization settled in. It took a moment, however, because his blast from the past wasn't looking fifteen years old anymore. He was, what was he now, mid-twenties? And it showed.
He'd filled out entirely, all man now, and not the tall and awkward charmer he'd once been. His smile was brighter, warmer, sexier, if that was even at all possible. He was everything Jensen had always known he'd become, and Jensen hated himself for not being around to see it happen.
Their eyes locked uncomfortably for a time that stretched on forever. Jensen's hand tightened around his coffee mug, as he struggled to find the words, some words, any words.
"Good morning," he managed finally, as Jared's feet shifted below him.
"How are you?" Jared asked softly, in a way that was professional and polite, and not the playful, caring tone he'd used to use.
"I... I'm well, thank you, and yourself?" Jensen carried on, feeling his heart clench uncomfortably as he realized that this moment - a hello as far as their co-workers were concerned - was really more of a goodbye.
Jensen cried that night, as much as he'd love to deny it. He'd always held out on some juvenile hope that he and Jared would find their fairytale ending. They'd meet up in a Wal-Mart in San Antonio, and head out for lunch, walking side-by-side, hand-in-hand. They'd talk about old times, good times, and times they hadn't yet had, before making their way into the back of Jensen's truck; all beating hearts and fumbling hands as they fell in love all over again.
Now, however, Jensen knew.
That was never going to happen.
He avoided Jared at school for some time after that. A few weeks, perhaps, of taking lunches as late as possible, so as not to watch Jared all smiling and happy and perfect, sitting with the rest of the ninth grade teachers, the teachers who were bright and shiny, with perfect hair and intact dreams. It was like being sixteen all over again.
Eventually, however, the moment came, and Jensen couldn't avoid it. He couldn't run from Jared forever, regretfully.
"Come," Jared demanded easily, as he wrapped a strong and steady hand around Jensen's elbow.
"What?" Jensen dropped his pen as Jared yanked at him, pulling him across the staff room, and out into the hall.
"With me," Jared grinned, soft and private and reminiscent of high school. Dear God, Jensen was sure that his dying moments would all be a flashback of one overdrawn, long year in high school.
"Where? Why?" Jensen questioned, wanting more than anything to let go, to let Jared Padalecki drag him off wherever the hell he wanted, to do God knows what, in who knows where. He missed that feeling, of having Jared guide him through a darkened hallway, before pulling off a blindfold to whatever surprise he felt was relevant to Jensen's interests that week. But, he was a grown-up now, with a job and a life and a grasp on reality. This couldn't happen, and he wouldn't le--
"Shit," Jensen gasped as they rounded out into the back parking lot, sparse and dusty, as Jensen's shoes scuffed along the dirt. He took in the sight slowly, disbelieving, because how...
"I found 'er, man," Jared explained, keeping his hand tight around Jensen's arm. "I paid the owner of the scrap yard, and he let me take it."
Jensen huffed in amusement, as he was overwhelmed by the taste of 1984. It was his truck, thee truck, the truck where everything ever worth remembering had happened. It'd been the place where Jared had first held his hand, the place where they'd shared countless bottles of Mountain of Dew. It was the setting of the moment, that heart-racing moment, when Jared's hand had slipped down the front of Jensen's jeans, in a gesture that had ended messy, but perfect nonetheless. They'd listened to terrible music, fingers tangling over the radio dials, before hitting the pedal and ending up nowhere, everywhere, anywhere. Together.
"I... I haven't seen... why didn't they scrap it?" Jensen asked incredulously, because this thing really belonged in the scrap yard, as much he hated to admit it. It was rusted and worn, and hadn't had a chance of survival since 1991.
"Honestly?" Jared asked needlessly, as Jensen nodded his head. "Hasn't been in the scrap yard," Jared shrugged, and Jensen bit his lip softly, slowly, as confusion settled in.
"But you said --"
"Yeah... never said when I bought it back," Jared grinned sheepishly, and Jensen felt his knees fall weak as he realized what that meant.
"You... you saved my truck?" Jensen questioned loudly, disbelieving, unsure if he even wanted to. "I... why?" Jensen let his hands rest over the side of the box, feeling the paint warm and rough under his fingers.
Jared didn't reply, not in words. Instead, it was a smile, a blush, a shrug, and Jensen felt himself mirror the motions.
The warning bell broke the moment, a fact that Jensen knew he logically should be grateful for. As perfect as it all seemed; Jared, those dimples, this high school, the truck... Jensen wasn't a kid anymore, and his perceptions of love had grown with him. They couldn't fall back into a messy and unplanned fling like they had back in high school. All stale Doritos and cheap beer and colored condoms (free, of course, from the nurse's office). They couldn't take the truck out to Houston, just to see that movie that was banned in Dallas. They couldn't take the truck anywhere, really, because the truck was broken. Just like everything else.
It wasn't long after that things got worse. Jensen believed he'd resisted Jared's charms this time around. He wasn't in love, he wasn't hopeless or desperate, he wasn't aching to be touched by a very specific pair of hands. That was all a facade, however, and it crumbled the day that Jared got transferred.
He'd left quickly, suddenly, before Jensen even had the time to process. Their goodbye had been short and simple; a brush of fingers over wrists, an almost-but-not-quite test of lips against cheeks. A few simple words, all saying more than they were given credit for, and with that, he was gone.
Jensen came back to reality now, still staring himself down in his rear view mirror, as his hands continually fumbled with his tie. It was a risk, a step, a giant step, if you asked Jensen. He knew what he was doing, where he was going, and the reason behind it. But, that reason was a flashing neon sign this time. No more coincidences, just... just a clear and simple message.
He'd handed in his resignation about a month after Jared had left, giving in to the fact that as much as he tried to convince himself that he could move on, that he could move forward, that he could live without Jared... he really and truly could not.
Jared had been transferred here, to this brand new school in front of him, and Jensen took in the details as he walked up the front steps. It was a typical building, all red bricks and American flags. But the railing caught his attention, warm and rusted under his fingers. It was a dull blue, the kind of shade that can't be replicated, and only existed as the product of sun stress. It was innocuous and unimpressive, an eyesore that Jensen knew would probably be sanded down and painted over sometime within the next year, at least. But for now, he'd let it remind him of the sides of his truck, exactly this color, exactly this shade. The truck where everything ever worth remembering had happened. Until now, Jensen knew.
Because he had new memories to make.
-End-
Author:casiedearestfic
Pairing: Jensen/Jared
Rating: PG13
Warnings: Teacher!Fic
Words: 3100
Summary: (AU - Teacher/Teacher) ::: Let you put your hands on me, in my skin tight jeans, be your teenage dream tonight.
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the boys. All characters belong to respective copyrights.
Notes: Written for notjustroomates's September prompt; Back to School. Title and lame excuse of a summary by Katy Perry.
Jensen's fingers tremble slightly as he works on straightening his tie. It's a motion practiced heavily; done once, twice, three times a day for the last four years. He knows that the knot is impeccable, that the color matches his jacket, which match his shoes, which match his car. He knows he looks fine, he'll do fine, he'll be fine, but first days of school are always a wrack of nerves. It'd been hard when he was a student, and had gotten no easier, now that he was teacher.
He was comfortable with his classes, and generally knew what he was talking about. He was blessed to be teaching the grade eleven students; old enough to be through with a new-found love for teenage rebellion, yet young enough to still be shapeable, like they cared, like education mattered. It wasn't his class, his job, his grade eleven students that had his palms sweating and his knees weak. It was the grade nine classroom down the hall, full of bright eyed hopefuls, willing to learn, and stone-set delinquents, ready to set fire to their textbooks. None of that mattered, though, not really, because it wasn't the students that affected Jensen so thoroughly.
Mr. Padalecki had always been a bright start to Jensen's mornings, all humor and warmth, and a smile that lit up the staff room. He was charming and trustworthy, and more than a little beautiful, and eventually, he'd become the reason for Jensen buying so many new ties. Jensen doesn't like to think about it now; all the shared moments of stolen silence, all the double-sugar, double-cream, all the promises that some day, something more would happen. Because when Mr. Padalecki got transferred to the private school across the city, Jensen lost all hope.
Until he remembered a moment when he was young, all of seventeen years old, scared and unsure and lost, on the front steps of Dunham High. It'd been a short move, really, an hours's drive at most. He knew he could visit his old school, his old house, his old friends every weekend, if he wanted to. But it wouldn't be the same, going to school, sitting in the lunchroom, without Jared by his side. Because Jared was the boy who made life worth it. Jared was good to him, even if only in private. Jared would smile at him, all warm and soft and honest, as he'd walk by with his friends. And more than anything, Jensen missed that.
He missed it before even setting foot in the school which Jared's smile had never lit the halls of.
Until, one day, it did.
It'd been a typical day, a lonely day, and dark and boring, simple day. Jensen had been slumped in his chair at the back of the class, pen tracing over lines already darkened and weak. The teacher had cleared his throat, a sound that went unnoticed, until he followed it up with the words Jensen hadn't considered possible.
"Class, this is Jared. He'll be joining us here for the rest of the semester."
"Uh, hey," Jensen caught up to Jared later, still unsure if Jared wanted to be seen talking to him. In school... in their old school... Jared's friends had been... well... exclusive. They weren't mean or terrible people, never gave Jensen a hard time, and they'd be good to him on the off chance that he'd get partnered up with one of them in class. But, they were what they were, they were who they were, a solid group of Joker, Flirt, Brooder, etc, and perhaps all the spots had just been filled up. Jensen learned quickly that although they seemed friendly enough, they weren't looking to hire, and unfortunately... he knew it'd always be that way.
"Hey!" Jared grinned back, slowing his stride to match up with Jensen. "We're in the same home room!" Jared stated the obvious, and Jensen was hit with a sudden wave of desperation. For what, however, he wasn't sure.
"Yes, I... I've noticed," Jensen mused, slowing his own pace, as Jared's matched again. "And, um... why?" He questioned softly, stopping completely, in the dead center of the hall. "I mean, why... why are you... why'd you switch schools?"
Jared looked over Jensen's shoulder for a minute, out the window and into the green, grassy courtyard. It was where all the cool kids spent their lunch break, playing guitars and eating tacos, smoking their camels and throwing their frisbees. It'd only be a matter of time, Jensen knew, before Jared was out there, one of them. A matter of time.
"Got bored," Jared shrugged, as if changing schools because you were bored was something usual. "And... I ran out of options there," he added, more vaguely now, as his focus fell back to Jensen's face. "I like this school much better," Jared grinned, a playful expression that lit up his entire face.
"There's... there's nothing here for you," Jensen warned honestly, knowing that their old school had all the best scholarship programs, all the best sports teams, all the best cheerleaders, and really... Jensen should be going now. "But I guess you'll work it out, nice seeing you," Jensen finished quickly, turning on his heels to put as much distance between himself and Jared as possible. He'd left him once, he'd lost him once, he'd spent years watching him, wanting him, waiting for him, and never once had it paid off. Now would be no different, Jensen knew, only this time, he was smarter.
"You're such an idiot," Jared called out loudly, laughing as Jensen stopped in his tracks.
"What?" Jensen turned, shoving his hands deep into his pockets as he looked down the length of the hall, vision split erratically by the random bustle of students cutting between them.
"It was their rules, not mine," Jared started, taking a step forward. "They made the decisions, they made the calls," he continued, walking briskly now as Jensen could do nothing but stand still and wait. "And now they're not here, Jensen," Jared explained as the distance between them finally disappeared. "Now it's just you and me."
Jensen's breath hitched as Jared's hands spread wide over his shoulders, pushing and pinning him back against the white-washed wall of the science hallway. It was a moment from Jensen's fantasies, the maybe-some-day hopes and dreams he'd always kept to himself. But now, now it was a reality, as Jared's lips brushed over his.
Jensen closed his eyes, leaning back heavily against the wall, as Jared's mouth moved over his. It was a kiss that was chaste and experimental, but unbelievably certain all the same.
Jensen's entire body chilled as Jared pulled away, smiling softly, in that warm, secretive way, as the bell for afternoon classes sounded through the halls.
Eventually, they were pulled apart by the onslaught of students and teachers on-route, but it was okay... it'd all be okay... because this was the high school fantasy, the one that always ended well. In the movies.
It wasn't okay, of course, because life wasn't scripted, and college acceptance letters weren't planned. They'd spent a single summer wrapped up in each other, late nights, long movies, bags of skittles and a lot of condoms. It'd been a perfect two months, putting a shadow of dullness over the nights that Jensen had so stupidly fantasized about for so long. They were best friends, they were amazing lovers, and the ring on Jensen's finger had been the tangible proof of it.
Jared had proposed to him, in a way that was half-assed and playful. It wasn't quite official, they knew, due to the fact that it took place in a rapidly uninflating bouncy castle, and Jared's love you speech had included something about shoelaces, and possibly salad. But, it wasn't a joke either, not really, not quite, because the ring had cost Jared hundreds, Jensen knew, despite the fact that Jared continually shrugged it off, calling it a Cracker Jack prize. It wasn't that, and never would be, because as serious as the moment may not have been... the intentions most certainly were.
Come the middle of August, however, the letter from West Chester showed up on the table. They put off opening it for a time that went unmeasured, hours, days, weeks, before realizing that leaving an envelope sealed was not the way to stop summer from ending. And when they'd finally cracked it open, everything had changed.
They'd tried long distance for a while, making the nine-hour trip at any point possible. They'd rack up their phone bills, spending long hours without saying anything, just being connected. They'd send letters and presents, dumb shit that had no meaning, other than the fact that it smelled like Jared. But eventually, life had happened, and they weren't the lovestruck teenagers that they once used to be.
The distance wore them down before reality did, and once reality hit, there was no turning back. Jensen got a job filing papers at a company based not far from where he lived. It was a simple job, one which gained him no respect, but he made money, and he made friends, and that was the year in which he started buying ties.
Jared's sister got married not too long after that, and Jensen would never even have known if she hadn't called him herself.
Things fell apart after that. They'd go months without speaking, until months turned into years. And eventually, Jensen's twenty-ninth birthday rolled around, and the ring that had settled heavily and comfortably over his finger for so goddamn long had found it's way to the bottom of the junk drawer.
Jensen wasn't a kid anymore.
He'd gotten a lucky break when he'd shown up at the wrong place at the wrong time. He'd been applying for a computer tech job at a local public high school. There'd been a shuffle of papers, and a flurry of voices, and not two weeks later, he was in front of a class. Teaching, of all things.
It'd been easy and casual for the first year, and he was honestly surprised by the fact that he hadn't realized that this was what he'd been destined for all along. It came to him naturally, simply, and thank god for that.
It wasn't until the first semester of his second year that things got a little more complicated.
His focus had hitched on a bright, yellow sticker, a brand new name label pasted along the bottom of one of the staff room mail boxes. He knew that name, he loved that name, he'd once vowed to himself, and a certain shaggy-haired, deep-dimpled best friend that he'd take that name one day. It couldn't be the same, though, there wasn't even a chance. No way could this be the same J. Padalecki.
It was the same J. Padalecki, and Jensen's feet felt heavy as the realization settled in. It took a moment, however, because his blast from the past wasn't looking fifteen years old anymore. He was, what was he now, mid-twenties? And it showed.
He'd filled out entirely, all man now, and not the tall and awkward charmer he'd once been. His smile was brighter, warmer, sexier, if that was even at all possible. He was everything Jensen had always known he'd become, and Jensen hated himself for not being around to see it happen.
Their eyes locked uncomfortably for a time that stretched on forever. Jensen's hand tightened around his coffee mug, as he struggled to find the words, some words, any words.
"Good morning," he managed finally, as Jared's feet shifted below him.
"How are you?" Jared asked softly, in a way that was professional and polite, and not the playful, caring tone he'd used to use.
"I... I'm well, thank you, and yourself?" Jensen carried on, feeling his heart clench uncomfortably as he realized that this moment - a hello as far as their co-workers were concerned - was really more of a goodbye.
Jensen cried that night, as much as he'd love to deny it. He'd always held out on some juvenile hope that he and Jared would find their fairytale ending. They'd meet up in a Wal-Mart in San Antonio, and head out for lunch, walking side-by-side, hand-in-hand. They'd talk about old times, good times, and times they hadn't yet had, before making their way into the back of Jensen's truck; all beating hearts and fumbling hands as they fell in love all over again.
Now, however, Jensen knew.
That was never going to happen.
He avoided Jared at school for some time after that. A few weeks, perhaps, of taking lunches as late as possible, so as not to watch Jared all smiling and happy and perfect, sitting with the rest of the ninth grade teachers, the teachers who were bright and shiny, with perfect hair and intact dreams. It was like being sixteen all over again.
Eventually, however, the moment came, and Jensen couldn't avoid it. He couldn't run from Jared forever, regretfully.
"Come," Jared demanded easily, as he wrapped a strong and steady hand around Jensen's elbow.
"What?" Jensen dropped his pen as Jared yanked at him, pulling him across the staff room, and out into the hall.
"With me," Jared grinned, soft and private and reminiscent of high school. Dear God, Jensen was sure that his dying moments would all be a flashback of one overdrawn, long year in high school.
"Where? Why?" Jensen questioned, wanting more than anything to let go, to let Jared Padalecki drag him off wherever the hell he wanted, to do God knows what, in who knows where. He missed that feeling, of having Jared guide him through a darkened hallway, before pulling off a blindfold to whatever surprise he felt was relevant to Jensen's interests that week. But, he was a grown-up now, with a job and a life and a grasp on reality. This couldn't happen, and he wouldn't le--
"Shit," Jensen gasped as they rounded out into the back parking lot, sparse and dusty, as Jensen's shoes scuffed along the dirt. He took in the sight slowly, disbelieving, because how...
"I found 'er, man," Jared explained, keeping his hand tight around Jensen's arm. "I paid the owner of the scrap yard, and he let me take it."
Jensen huffed in amusement, as he was overwhelmed by the taste of 1984. It was his truck, thee truck, the truck where everything ever worth remembering had happened. It'd been the place where Jared had first held his hand, the place where they'd shared countless bottles of Mountain of Dew. It was the setting of the moment, that heart-racing moment, when Jared's hand had slipped down the front of Jensen's jeans, in a gesture that had ended messy, but perfect nonetheless. They'd listened to terrible music, fingers tangling over the radio dials, before hitting the pedal and ending up nowhere, everywhere, anywhere. Together.
"I... I haven't seen... why didn't they scrap it?" Jensen asked incredulously, because this thing really belonged in the scrap yard, as much he hated to admit it. It was rusted and worn, and hadn't had a chance of survival since 1991.
"Honestly?" Jared asked needlessly, as Jensen nodded his head. "Hasn't been in the scrap yard," Jared shrugged, and Jensen bit his lip softly, slowly, as confusion settled in.
"But you said --"
"Yeah... never said when I bought it back," Jared grinned sheepishly, and Jensen felt his knees fall weak as he realized what that meant.
"You... you saved my truck?" Jensen questioned loudly, disbelieving, unsure if he even wanted to. "I... why?" Jensen let his hands rest over the side of the box, feeling the paint warm and rough under his fingers.
Jared didn't reply, not in words. Instead, it was a smile, a blush, a shrug, and Jensen felt himself mirror the motions.
The warning bell broke the moment, a fact that Jensen knew he logically should be grateful for. As perfect as it all seemed; Jared, those dimples, this high school, the truck... Jensen wasn't a kid anymore, and his perceptions of love had grown with him. They couldn't fall back into a messy and unplanned fling like they had back in high school. All stale Doritos and cheap beer and colored condoms (free, of course, from the nurse's office). They couldn't take the truck out to Houston, just to see that movie that was banned in Dallas. They couldn't take the truck anywhere, really, because the truck was broken. Just like everything else.
It wasn't long after that things got worse. Jensen believed he'd resisted Jared's charms this time around. He wasn't in love, he wasn't hopeless or desperate, he wasn't aching to be touched by a very specific pair of hands. That was all a facade, however, and it crumbled the day that Jared got transferred.
He'd left quickly, suddenly, before Jensen even had the time to process. Their goodbye had been short and simple; a brush of fingers over wrists, an almost-but-not-quite test of lips against cheeks. A few simple words, all saying more than they were given credit for, and with that, he was gone.
Jensen came back to reality now, still staring himself down in his rear view mirror, as his hands continually fumbled with his tie. It was a risk, a step, a giant step, if you asked Jensen. He knew what he was doing, where he was going, and the reason behind it. But, that reason was a flashing neon sign this time. No more coincidences, just... just a clear and simple message.
He'd handed in his resignation about a month after Jared had left, giving in to the fact that as much as he tried to convince himself that he could move on, that he could move forward, that he could live without Jared... he really and truly could not.
Jared had been transferred here, to this brand new school in front of him, and Jensen took in the details as he walked up the front steps. It was a typical building, all red bricks and American flags. But the railing caught his attention, warm and rusted under his fingers. It was a dull blue, the kind of shade that can't be replicated, and only existed as the product of sun stress. It was innocuous and unimpressive, an eyesore that Jensen knew would probably be sanded down and painted over sometime within the next year, at least. But for now, he'd let it remind him of the sides of his truck, exactly this color, exactly this shade. The truck where everything ever worth remembering had happened. Until now, Jensen knew.
Because he had new memories to make.
-End-