forgiveness: actually the best gift there is.
Hello. As I so often need to do, I am going to start this post with an apology to everyone I've friended for my lack of dedication on livejournal. You are all in my heart, always. I'm lucky enough to be the kind of person who knows what and whom to appreciate, and I think it will be very difficult for me to forget much of the love and encouragement and wisdom that I have taken from you. I should say it more often, and more emphatically.
Last year, an old friend of mine asked me to write a blog. I wrote three posts which I revisited a couple of hours ago. It's astonishing how depressing they are. I had such a negative outlook on so many things. For the first three or four years that succeeded high school, I think I was in some kind of depression that, in being hidden from friends and family, hid itself from me a little. It feels quite foreign now, thankfully. My writing then was good, though. Spending my nights curled up with my misery instead of sleeping or reading did wonders for my biting metaphors. I've tried to write over the past few months and little of it has turned out to be very good. I hope I'm not someone who can only write when they're terribly unhappy. I like happiness too much, though not being good at anything would make me unhappy again.
I have begun looking at electives for my third year of law school and I feel myself stepping gingerly back into the excitement that I felt when I first started this degree. I love looking forward to next year. I love that last year I was looking forward to this year. My life is in crescendo.
My best friend is falling apart and our friendship hangs on to bits of cord that tremble as they stretch. I feel so hurt and she feels so unhappy but I think we both know that to lose one another would be too, too awful for either of us. It is unspoken but despite the fact that it takes more and more effort each time, we are committed to this. We make duty out of seeing one another, out of texting, out of looking each other in the eye. Maybe it means that it's already over, maybe it means that we're too strong for it to fall down completely. You don't just give up on eleven years of friendship.
I am actually going out with the best guy I could ever have hoped for. He is the stuff of a thousand pop songs.
Last year, an old friend of mine asked me to write a blog. I wrote three posts which I revisited a couple of hours ago. It's astonishing how depressing they are. I had such a negative outlook on so many things. For the first three or four years that succeeded high school, I think I was in some kind of depression that, in being hidden from friends and family, hid itself from me a little. It feels quite foreign now, thankfully. My writing then was good, though. Spending my nights curled up with my misery instead of sleeping or reading did wonders for my biting metaphors. I've tried to write over the past few months and little of it has turned out to be very good. I hope I'm not someone who can only write when they're terribly unhappy. I like happiness too much, though not being good at anything would make me unhappy again.
I have begun looking at electives for my third year of law school and I feel myself stepping gingerly back into the excitement that I felt when I first started this degree. I love looking forward to next year. I love that last year I was looking forward to this year. My life is in crescendo.
My best friend is falling apart and our friendship hangs on to bits of cord that tremble as they stretch. I feel so hurt and she feels so unhappy but I think we both know that to lose one another would be too, too awful for either of us. It is unspoken but despite the fact that it takes more and more effort each time, we are committed to this. We make duty out of seeing one another, out of texting, out of looking each other in the eye. Maybe it means that it's already over, maybe it means that we're too strong for it to fall down completely. You don't just give up on eleven years of friendship.
I am actually going out with the best guy I could ever have hoped for. He is the stuff of a thousand pop songs.