I'd like to file a complaint, and for assistance
This is an open letter to the Credit Services Department at the Swedish Covenant Hospital where, according to them, "technology changes, compassion does not."
Yes, I called several weeks ago regarding my hospital bill from January when I was was admitted because I'd spent the better part of my Friday night vomiting out everything I'd consumed in the past twenty years or so. I said to the lady on the phone, "I'd like to know if I qualify for any assistance in paying this bill. I'm an actor, and I work two jobs just so I can pay $500 a month in rent. (Which is so cheap compared to most places.)" The woman on the phone asked me how much I made. I gave her an estimate and, just so you're aware, it would take about two and a half months of pay from both of my jobs to cover these medical bills in one swoop. And that's if I'm bold enough to decide that eating and shelter just aren't my thing. She told me that she didn't think I qualified, but we could set up a payment plan as low as $30 a month and she'd go ahead and send me the paperwork to fill out if I "want to try that."
Really?! Well, thanks for humoring me, but it's the darndest thing...I've received no paperwork. All that's come through the mail from your hospital to me since I made that call was another bill. This time for the doctor, Casey O'Toole, that I saw once the entire night. He felt my glands, asked how I was feeling, said I had a nice name (Ha, bloody, ha, O'Toole.), and then he left. If I passed the man on the street, I wouldn't recognize him, so it's only fair that he gets $500 of my hard-earned dollars for that BS, right?
Wrong. Where's all this damned "compassion" you boast about? Send me my paperwork. I never go to the doctor, because I don't have insurance, but this was an absolute necessity. I didn't have a sniffle. I didn't have a migraine headache that could have been taken care of with some pain meds. I probably could have puked out my lower intestine onto your floor that night, but I didn't because you all were so "nice" and "compassionate" and you had a cross on your wall and everything.
I've called you again this morning and left word for someone to call me back. If you don't, I will be there in live person on Friday afternoon. Just to give you a heads up, I will have been up since 6am, working in a cold, cement building, listening to 40 barking dogs and picking up their endless piles of shit. I will be tired, I will be hungry, I will look horrid,and I will have to perform that night. Not your problem, I know, but I'm not someone to be messed with when I am in such a state. All I want is some damned paperwork. I don't think I should have to pray for it, either. It should just be here.
Sincerely,
The Angry Bitch formerly known as Pukey Patty