Under Her Skin 39
Under Her Skin 39
Rating: PG-13 (for now)
Spoilers: Episode 5.20 Lowdown
Disclaimer: I don't own them, too bad for them
Author's Note: I'm trying to finish, the tangents just keep taking over!
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Struggling to contain the very real need to cry, Detective Olivia Benson slowly approached the statuesque redhead casually leaning against the hood of her car.
"Hey," ADA Casey Novak softly greeted as she pushed herself away from the vehicle.
A slight hitch in her voice, Olivia replied, "What are you still doing here?"
"I got ditched," the counselor shrugged, "should I call a cab?"
"No," the older woman whispered, "I just...." and at a loss for words, she simply finished the thought with a hopeless wave of her hand.
Casey nodded her understanding, offered, "I'll call for a ride, k?"
Olivia didn't respond, just stared at a fascinating spot on the ground as she vaguely registered the counselor reaching into
her pocket.
If she'd been paying attention, she would have seen the flash of panic as Casey realized that she'd need smoke signals to call for a ride right at that moment, as her phone was currently in a dozen useless pieces.
Olivia took all of this in as though seeing it happen through a fog of confusion and swirling emotional turmoil, saw the stricken look on her friend? co-worker? colleague's? face, mistakenly assumed that her demeanor had caused it.
Genuinely touched by Casey's concern, made a sudden decision.
"Case?"
"Yeah?"
"I'm negative."
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A surprised, spontaneous, enormous smile appeared on Casey's face.
"That's wonderful," she replied.
The transformation that smile created on the young counselor's face was breathtaking, and Olivia silently applauded herself for creating that beautiful moment.
Vowed that she was going to find a million ways to make it happen again.
"Thanks," she shakily responded, then added, "I know I should be really pissed at Melinda for forcing me to get that test when I wasn't ready to face it, you know?"
Guilt gnawing at her gut, Casey silently nodded.
"Funny thing is," Olivia continued, "now that I know I'm negative, I'm grateful. Living with this knowledge that I may have been exposed has been such a nightmare but today, when I got the results, it felt like I finally woke up."
"I get that," the counselor responded.
"The best part of all of this," the detective continued, "is that Warner didn't have Jeff's results *before* she shanghaied me into getting tested, so," she paused and pinned the ADA with a sinister glare, "I have a very strong suspicion that somebody knew the rumors about York, as well as my connection to him, and tipped her off."
Look up "guilty" in the dictionary, insert Casey's current expression.
"So,"Olivia asked with a deep breath, "Was it you?"
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Olivia wasn't mad, Casey realized as she debated how to answer that question.
With a silent prayer to whatever gods currently got prayed to by naughty ADA's, Casey took the plunge as well.
"Yeah, it was me."
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Gesturing to the passenger door, Olivia said, "Get in."
Casey, still rooted to her spot, stared questioningly at the older woman.
"This is going to be a long talk counselor," the detective explained, "and after the morning I've had I really need some caffeine before it goes any further. Shall we?"
Gratified that she hadn't been left on the proverbial curb, Casey nodded and got in.
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Pulling on her sunglasses and starting the car, Olivia asked, "Hey, could you call Elliot and tell him we're on our way? I, um," she paused, scrambling for an explanation, "lost my phone. Yeah, must've left it in my desk," she expounded, perfectly content with her lie, "so would you mind?"
Liar! Casey wanted shout, as the detective avoided her gaze.
Instead, she smoothly replied, "You know it's the funniest thing, I think I left mine in my desk too."
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"So let me get this straight," Captain Don Cragen began with a scowl, "Olivia *broke* her phone?"
"Yes sir," Detective Elliot Stabler confirmed.
"And nobody knows where she is?" the captain asked in disbelief.
"ADA Novak knows where she is," Elliot helpfully replied.
"So call Casey, tell her we got a steaming Mrs. Abbott waiting for Liv."
"Can't," Stabler responded.
"Why not?" Cragen growled.
"Her phone's broken too."
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"Village Coffee good for you?" Olivia asked, as she slowed down and backed into the shop's loading dock.
"Fine," Casey muttered, astounded at Olivia's questionable parking choice.
"Relax counselor," Olivia smiled, "the owner's an old friend, I know their delivery schedule."
"Why am I not surprised?"
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Exasperated, Cragen snapped, "And how do you know that both of their phones are broken?"
Elliot smirked.
Pointing to the office door, the captain ordered, "Find them."
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Stepping up to order at the very busy coffeehouse, Olivia smiled at the barista who asked, "The usual?"
"Yeah," the detective replied.
"The usual as well Miss Novak?"
"Every minute of every day," Casey answered with a smile.
Both women were stunned to hear the barista turn and shout, "Vanilla half caff double shot capp times two!"
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As they approached the car, Olivia asked, "Are you as tired as I am?"
"Depends on what we're talking about," the redhead responded.
Leaning against the trunk, Olivia clarified, "I'm talking about us."
Casey's heart skipped a beat.
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"Look, Munch, I swear I'll finish the story when I get back," Elliot whined into his phone, "but first we gotta find Liv, Cap's ready to blow."
"Did you check the morgue?" John replied.
"Yeah, Melinda said they left twenty minutes ago. If you check that bodega where Liv sometimes gets crap coffee and Fin checks the courthouse, I'll see if Jenny knows anything."
As he shut his phone and cruised to a stop at a red light, Elliot remembered his partner's favorite coffee joint - as well as her favorite parking space. Following that hunch, he headed for the village.
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Taking a sip of the heavenly concoction in her hand, Casey admitted, "Yeah. Look, I don't know where this is going or what it's trying to be, but I don't like fighting with you."
Olivia smiled, whispered, "I hate it too."
Sharing a small smile, they each took a sip from their respective cups.
"So," Olivia asked with a slight tremor in her voice, "why did you go behind my back with Warner? I was gonna get tested."
"I don't know," Casey started, then added, "actually, that's not entirely true. I was feeling so much pressure from so many sides, you were shutting me out and it just killed me that you had to find out about Jeff the way that you did. Then," she continued, "I saw what silence and denial had done to the Abbotts, and I just, I don't know, I....."
She couldn't continue, this week had been such an emotional roller coaster and yet here was the source of all that turmoil, softly asking her why.
The source of all of her frustration, whose hand was gently squeezing her shoulder in a comforting gesture of solidarity and support.
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Seeing Casey's obvious distress and understanding, finally, why she'd done what she'd done, Olivia didn't hesitate to offer the tiny physical comfort that she could.
As she gently squeezed her distraught friend's shoulder and Casey slowly relaxed into the touch, the friendly gesture evolved into something more than either of them had bargained for.
She was protecting me.
The thought slammed into Olivia's conscious mind like a sledgehammer, absolutely refusing to be ignored any longer.
The comforting gesture turned into a semi embrace, as Casey regained her composure and Olivia refused to let her go.
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Never to be outdone by his partner's blatant misuse of her credentials when it came to securing parking, Elliot boldly pulled up onto the curb in front of Village Coffee.
With a little extra cocky in his step he entered the coffee shop, ordered his usual, smiled and asked the barista if she'd seen his partner that day.
Grinning, the young goth replied, "She's out back, but I think they want to be alone."
They?
Want to be what?
Perplexed, he picked up the pace and practically ran out the door, around the corner, and dropped his eight dollar cup of perfect coffee when he spotted his partner.
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Reveling in the feel of Olivia's touch, Casey whispered, "If you had let this go, and you had been infected, it could have been full blown AIDS by the time you'd acknowledged it."
Nodding, tears in her eyes, Olivia answered, "But that was my choice, not yours."
"I don't want to lose you," Casey responded, "and I know that you have every right to be angry with me. But I'd rather live in a world where you're alive and well and hate me, than in a world without you at all."
Tightening her hold on the counselor, Olivia quietly responded, "Thank you."
Then, as they stared into each other's eyes, she made another sudden decision.
With a calming breath she leaned in, lowered her voice and whispered, "As long as we're being perfectly honest, there's something else that we really need to discuss."
Leaning in as well, eyes closed as the proximity to her beloved detective overwhelmed her senses, Casey husked, "What's that?"
Straightening as she spotted her damned partner spying, grinning at the coffee stain splashed across his pant legs, Olivia deadpanned, "We need to talk about Jenny."
DOINK DOINK