Fandom stuff
Ever since the SPN finale, I've been very upset at Destiel shippers and their hate for Jared. But this isn't just about them. It's also about me. Because for three years, I was a very dedicated Destiel shipper. The same people I thought of as "friends", the ones that I reblogged gifs, fanart and meta from on tumblr... pretty much all of them are Jared haters. I thought they liked him, and now it's like the veil has been lifted. This isn't anything new, though... it's just that they were able to hide it better in the past. Some of them seem relieved to not have to "pretend" anymore.
In the past, I tolerated their dislike of the "toxic codependency" and supported their view on thing like the controversy over the naming of gencest. I look back on that now with disbelief, like how could I do that? Why did I let them influence me, when deep down inside I knew it was wrong?
I'm feeling sad and ashamed. I wish I never had anything to do with Destiel. It hurts so bad, I can't stand looking at anything with Dean and Cas, or even Cas by himself. I don't want to watch any scenes or eps that focus on them. They meant a lot to me, and now I can't stand them.
Even though I'm not part of the Destiel shipper's present time bad behavior, I still feel like I need forgiveness. I feel tainted. I'm angry at them, and because I was part of them for so long, I'm also angry at myself.
Thanks for listening, as I try to work out my feelings about this. *sigh*
In the past, I tolerated their dislike of the "toxic codependency" and supported their view on thing like the controversy over the naming of gencest. I look back on that now with disbelief, like how could I do that? Why did I let them influence me, when deep down inside I knew it was wrong?
I'm feeling sad and ashamed. I wish I never had anything to do with Destiel. It hurts so bad, I can't stand looking at anything with Dean and Cas, or even Cas by himself. I don't want to watch any scenes or eps that focus on them. They meant a lot to me, and now I can't stand them.
Even though I'm not part of the Destiel shipper's present time bad behavior, I still feel like I need forgiveness. I feel tainted. I'm angry at them, and because I was part of them for so long, I'm also angry at myself.
Thanks for listening, as I try to work out my feelings about this. *sigh*