Ok, God. I give up. You win. Is this cruel joke over yet?
Well, what to say?
I am becoming more and more depressed. I've come to the conclusion that I will never be happy. I can't be trusting. I don't trust my boyfriend... my best friend... not even my family... and it all just leaves me feeling incredibly alone.
To top it all off, I'm seeing some of the people I'm closest to making some of the same mistakes I've made in my life... its hurting them, but I can't do anything to help.
I want to get away somewhere. Someday I'm going to get my shit, and take it all with me somewhere. Somewhere quiet. Somewhere where I can't be found. I'll live there by myself, doing what I must to survive, or not... it doesn't matter. I won't be constantly reminded of how I am a failure.
There's no way to describe how I feel right now. I'm so upset that my entire body hurts. The back of my head and neck is tingling. I can't think about doing anything else but getting high in Yury's kitchen, and walking home. I hate being at his house when I'm upset. He doesn't understand me. He doesn't understand why I feel this way. There's no way that he can comprehend what I've been through.
I don't know what I'd do without him, though.
I am becoming more and more depressed. I've come to the conclusion that I will never be happy. I can't be trusting. I don't trust my boyfriend... my best friend... not even my family... and it all just leaves me feeling incredibly alone.
To top it all off, I'm seeing some of the people I'm closest to making some of the same mistakes I've made in my life... its hurting them, but I can't do anything to help.
I want to get away somewhere. Someday I'm going to get my shit, and take it all with me somewhere. Somewhere quiet. Somewhere where I can't be found. I'll live there by myself, doing what I must to survive, or not... it doesn't matter. I won't be constantly reminded of how I am a failure.
There's no way to describe how I feel right now. I'm so upset that my entire body hurts. The back of my head and neck is tingling. I can't think about doing anything else but getting high in Yury's kitchen, and walking home. I hate being at his house when I'm upset. He doesn't understand me. He doesn't understand why I feel this way. There's no way that he can comprehend what I've been through.
I don't know what I'd do without him, though.