(no subject)
as i was heading out the door after work this afternoon, i said goodbye to my boss as usual, and that's when he asked me how much longer i'd be with them.
"hmmmmm... about a week and a half."
-"oh you're almost done! oh wow."
"i know, it's gone so fast. i'm so sad, i don't want to leave."
-"so don't."
"oh well i have to, my parents are going to africa tomorrow and tonight might be the last dinner we'll have together for a long time haha."
-"africa! wonderful, where?"
"oh, cape town of course, then let's see... not zimbabwe, but zimbaue..."
-"do you know what tour company they're using? my friend works for one that deals with africa."
"i'm not sure, but i'll find out for you!"
-"but seriously... you should stay."
"to work? past the summer?"
-"yeah, i mean, i guess you're going back to school..."
"yeah, i mean i have to..."
-"but why?"
"...to learn!"
-"learn what?"
"......"
-"seriously, what can they teach you that you can't learn here?"
"....well.... things... haha i don't know! you're right..."
-"exactly. and look, you're paying them to learn, here, we're paying you."
"wait, you're not serious."
-"i'm totally serious."
"haha no way... hahaha, really? don't tempt me!"
-"yeah! why not?"
".... you know, i don't know... haha i can certainly pitch it to my parents..."
(a guest runs up to him and starts talking, so he gets distracted.)
"haha ok well have a good night."
-"you too, see you tomorrow!"
and... now... well........ now... i'm tempted.
that would be ridiculous. i thought that on the bus, i can't drop out of school. i do not want to be a college dropout. i won't be. but damnit.
it makes me question my education. i feel a little silly. a degree in... haha hospitality? haha who am i kidding? you know? it's like education for slackers. i think. god i don't know. damnit. damnit! because a degree from the cornell hotel school is just... i'm not even saying because it feels none too modest. but really.
but then again no. ugh! i love the city! i want to stay so badly. i must not fall in love with my work. i must not fall in love with my coworkers. i must not fall in love with my bosses. i must not fall in love with usc. i must not fall in love with the entire company. i must not. no love no love no love allowed. i feel good though, for no love. no love... that makes me think about being a chef again. and i wonder if i can handle that.
i think it's funny how i had a long conversation with tim last night.
ahhhh why did this happen to me?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
i probably wanted it too. yeah. yeah i did. i think. i don't know. god i don't know.
"hmmmmm... about a week and a half."
-"oh you're almost done! oh wow."
"i know, it's gone so fast. i'm so sad, i don't want to leave."
-"so don't."
"oh well i have to, my parents are going to africa tomorrow and tonight might be the last dinner we'll have together for a long time haha."
-"africa! wonderful, where?"
"oh, cape town of course, then let's see... not zimbabwe, but zimbaue..."
-"do you know what tour company they're using? my friend works for one that deals with africa."
"i'm not sure, but i'll find out for you!"
-"but seriously... you should stay."
"to work? past the summer?"
-"yeah, i mean, i guess you're going back to school..."
"yeah, i mean i have to..."
-"but why?"
"...to learn!"
-"learn what?"
"......"
-"seriously, what can they teach you that you can't learn here?"
"....well.... things... haha i don't know! you're right..."
-"exactly. and look, you're paying them to learn, here, we're paying you."
"wait, you're not serious."
-"i'm totally serious."
"haha no way... hahaha, really? don't tempt me!"
-"yeah! why not?"
".... you know, i don't know... haha i can certainly pitch it to my parents..."
(a guest runs up to him and starts talking, so he gets distracted.)
"haha ok well have a good night."
-"you too, see you tomorrow!"
and... now... well........ now... i'm tempted.
that would be ridiculous. i thought that on the bus, i can't drop out of school. i do not want to be a college dropout. i won't be. but damnit.
it makes me question my education. i feel a little silly. a degree in... haha hospitality? haha who am i kidding? you know? it's like education for slackers. i think. god i don't know. damnit. damnit! because a degree from the cornell hotel school is just... i'm not even saying because it feels none too modest. but really.
but then again no. ugh! i love the city! i want to stay so badly. i must not fall in love with my work. i must not fall in love with my coworkers. i must not fall in love with my bosses. i must not fall in love with usc. i must not fall in love with the entire company. i must not. no love no love no love allowed. i feel good though, for no love. no love... that makes me think about being a chef again. and i wonder if i can handle that.
i think it's funny how i had a long conversation with tim last night.
ahhhh why did this happen to me?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
i probably wanted it too. yeah. yeah i did. i think. i don't know. god i don't know.