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ugh so last night was so annoying i got introuble at school whats new and the called my mom my mom my dad start yelling at me and then i yell bakck then my dads like u do nothing but eat sleep school phone go out and the computer and im like dad what teenager doesnt do that & hes like well other kids ik r all studying all the time. "Im like no way
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It's been just about a year that we've known each other. I remember the first day we met at the movies, to see thirteen going on thirty. I remember when kimmy called me while i was in florida && told me you two were going out. I had no clue at that time that you would become a big part of all of our lives. Because the next thing i knew, we liked each other && went out. Then there was that whole big fight between me & kim over you. That was a really tough week. && it's what really set me off, when i decided to cut our friendship short. For about two monthes ( the middle to the end of the summer) we didn't talk. At all. It really sucked, because while 3 of my best friends still always hung out with you, i had to stay away from you && pretend like i didn't miss you. But the truth is, i did. Alot. Then you && kim broke up again for the second time && you started going out with noelle. By that point we were starting to talk again, which was good, but wierd, because we had both changed && moved on to other things. After you and Noelle broke up there was the whole mahopac fight incident. I remember seeing kim, noelle & steph hysterical. More than ever i wanted you back as my best friend, who would call me all the time, & make me laugh just by being your wierd self. When i got home that day, i sat in my room crying for an hour. I remember i begged my mom to let me go to the hospital to see you, but she made me go to church first. I cried the whole entire time, i couldnt stand up without feeling like a complete idiot, i didn't even go up to get the bread, i just sat there crying. People probably thought someone died because of the way i looked, but in a way someone did. I felt like such an asshole for treating you the way i did over the summer && the beginning of the year. I remember picking up vicki and bringing your stuffed animal & card to you. When we were talking to you, and you were explaining what happened that made me just feel even worse, because i wasn't there for you, to do whatever i could have done to help you. When i got home, all i did was cry. I cried myself to sleep at night. Now that you have stephanie, things just feel so right for you. Even though things may not feel right for other people. We drifted apart && i still wish it was the way it was before, me you kim noelle & steph. When we used to go to the movies every friday night & be the five again. Who knows if it was just the summer that made us all closer, but now that the summers gone we all just drifted our own ways. Ever since i left that "group" it's been the four of you guys. And it probably always will be, because no matter how hard i try to stay close with you guys, theres just always reasons to shut me out. Joe, theres never a reason for anyone to commit suicide. You know that if you ever did, you would be missed by so many people, in so many ways. Please for us, don't do anything you might regret. Things will get better just always remember that. I go through things that people won't go through ever, just no one knows that because no one takes the time to listen anymore. At least you know you have people that will always be there for you, to always listen, and always depend on. Just remember, no matter what, i'm always here, if you ever need someone to talk to.
♥♥♥
amanda.
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