(no subject)
You know how opinons are like assholes and everyone's got one?
Despite the fact that I'm quite fluent in Idiotspeak and have successfully translated conversations between Idiots and Rationals before, there are times when my mind is boggled.
There are at least two people in my office who think (and worse, have said aloud) that they don't believe a nine-year-old should be allowed to make the decision of becoming a vegetarian.
WTF? What are we supposed to do to stop her? I mean, rationally?
I suppose there's always the option of "make her sit at the table until she's finished her hamburger/sloppy joe/chicken fingers/whatever, or she can go hungry," but really, is starving a nine-year-old really an option?
I suppose we could try talking her out of it. Here's how I imagine the conversation would go:
Her: I want to be a vegetarian. I think it's cruel how they treat animals that they process for meat, here, look at this video of cows being slaughtered. I don't want to be a part of that, Grammy/Mama/Aunt CW. Also, eating meat is bad for you, here's a list of all the health problems caused by eating meat. I want to be a veterinarian when I grow up, I don't want to be a part of hurting animals or myself. Will you help me?
Us: OK, look, you're nine years old, where did you find that video? Youtube or something? Well, shit, I knew I should have locked you away from any peek into reality you might find on the Internet, why couldn't you be like the other kids and Google for porn? Anyway, our point is, you're nine. Nevermind the fact that we've been feeding you books about critical thinking and all that crap since you were a baby, you can't make a well-reasoned, well-researched moral decision on your own.
Her: Why not?
Us: Because we don't want to go to the bother of finding healthy, nutritious alternatives to meat just so that you can be morally conscientious. Also, we don't care if you reach the age of eighteen without knowing how to make a decision and abide by the consquences on your own.
Her: But meat is bad.
Us: But helping you be a vegetarian is inconvenient. End of discussion, little lady, go to your room and watch Britney Spears on MTV.
Um... no.
The nine-year-old has been incredible, just for the record. Her favorite food used to be pizza rolls and corndogs. She gave it up. She even gave up Jello. Now she eats beans, rice, vegetables, fish, and fruit.
How the hell is that an irresponsible parental decision? But I guess some people still think McDonald's is a better health prospect than, oh, fresh fruits and vegetables.
Despite the fact that I'm quite fluent in Idiotspeak and have successfully translated conversations between Idiots and Rationals before, there are times when my mind is boggled.
There are at least two people in my office who think (and worse, have said aloud) that they don't believe a nine-year-old should be allowed to make the decision of becoming a vegetarian.
WTF? What are we supposed to do to stop her? I mean, rationally?
I suppose there's always the option of "make her sit at the table until she's finished her hamburger/sloppy joe/chicken fingers/whatever, or she can go hungry," but really, is starving a nine-year-old really an option?
I suppose we could try talking her out of it. Here's how I imagine the conversation would go:
Her: I want to be a vegetarian. I think it's cruel how they treat animals that they process for meat, here, look at this video of cows being slaughtered. I don't want to be a part of that, Grammy/Mama/Aunt CW. Also, eating meat is bad for you, here's a list of all the health problems caused by eating meat. I want to be a veterinarian when I grow up, I don't want to be a part of hurting animals or myself. Will you help me?
Us: OK, look, you're nine years old, where did you find that video? Youtube or something? Well, shit, I knew I should have locked you away from any peek into reality you might find on the Internet, why couldn't you be like the other kids and Google for porn? Anyway, our point is, you're nine. Nevermind the fact that we've been feeding you books about critical thinking and all that crap since you were a baby, you can't make a well-reasoned, well-researched moral decision on your own.
Her: Why not?
Us: Because we don't want to go to the bother of finding healthy, nutritious alternatives to meat just so that you can be morally conscientious. Also, we don't care if you reach the age of eighteen without knowing how to make a decision and abide by the consquences on your own.
Her: But meat is bad.
Us: But helping you be a vegetarian is inconvenient. End of discussion, little lady, go to your room and watch Britney Spears on MTV.
Um... no.
The nine-year-old has been incredible, just for the record. Her favorite food used to be pizza rolls and corndogs. She gave it up. She even gave up Jello. Now she eats beans, rice, vegetables, fish, and fruit.
How the hell is that an irresponsible parental decision? But I guess some people still think McDonald's is a better health prospect than, oh, fresh fruits and vegetables.