im all alone
its like 2 in the morning and im sittin here kidan BORED. Waiting on a very specail phone call that seems like it may never come. ANyway. tonight was kinda gayy with the whole man hunt thing. I really wanted him to be there but his phone died and it all went down from there. NO i don't like him. . im not letting myself. NOPE. It will probably be just another heart break. So forget it. Not liking him. I just think hes super funny and cool. W/e. HE called me saying he was soo sorry and that he felt like a dick. He MADE me call him a dick. And thenn he said he was gonna make it up to me.. "HE PROMISES". He claims hes gonna take me on a boat ride to go see the priates and to find the treasure. Thats exciting!! Yeah right y do i even think about it. Hes probably not even gonna call me tonight. Another LET DOWN.I'm not suprised. THis shit always happens to me. I don't understand. I just need to stop meeting guysssss. Like honestly i just need to stop like right now. THey are killing me. Thats horrible to say I kno but gosh its soo true. Im so depressed right now. i just wanna go lay in bed and cry myself to sleep. Maybe then i can get my mind of shit.Maybe i can forget about how everything that ever seems so right always turns out so god damn WRONG. Maybe its me. maybe its cause im stupid and fall for retarded guys easily. Maybe its cause i get attached way to fukin fasted. I need to chill the fuck out. yes BRitney. CALM DOWN. SHiitt man. I just wanna talk to him cause i know he'll make me laugh. And laughing takes my mind of life. And i so need that right now. ITs crazy. I didn't get to see Nick tonigth which was ALSO another LET DOWN cause i fuking love that guy and i miss him like crazy. Shit always happens. YOu see. ITs fucking no fair in no wa shape or form. I can't wait till i get my car so at times like these i can just leave and go far far far AWAY from this hell. So i can just turn up my music and pretend like theres nothing in this world that bothers me. I want Nick right now. Hes like probably the ONLY guy that can make me happy. POSSIBLY. No other guy has yet made me happy or even tried. They've all just brought me down. So far down i don't know if this time I'm getting up. Please someones help me. Please comfort me.Love me. Hug me. Im gonna go lay down and try to sleep. Probably won;t since i NEVER sleep.
***Britney****
***Britney****