crumpet

[carsss]

I am so sore everywhere. I feel like a little ween dying rat. But everthing is smoooth. I am so exhausted most of the time, I like the feeling of being so satisfied with spooning a waterbottle and 5 billion blankets. show you loooove.
It was nadie's birthday on the weekend. A blur of happy laughs faces lights happy. I am so grateful for the people in my life that make me at the moment, it is my comfort, my security, my purpose. I love you. endless days. I only wish for the small bites of insecurity that plague people with a reason to be dissapointed with themselves or the world they live in to realise that the littlest and simplest of things matter if you make it, and will come right back to save you when least expected. I realise Im becoming an asexual cement snail. I realise when people make attempts to talk to me out at night I am instantly insulted by their imposing confidence. how dumb. no wonder the blunder. yuck. what am i realy thinking about. Its always the beautiful ones the wrong ones.

Ill strip away the strength
embrace old and tiresome ghosts
smile in hollow moments
If only to show you.. bare, pure, mine
for a second.. young and dissolving,
the light i see in you.