Fan fic - HiPS Part 1
Title: Hiding in Plain Sight : Part 1
Author: The Schizophrenic Gatekeeper
Email: schizophrenics_r_never_lonely@hotmail.com
Rating: G
Pairings: Carson/Daniel
Category: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Romance, Slash, Drama, Character study
Season: Between s7 and s8 SG-1, pre s1 SGA
Spoilers: Still pre-atlantis, but there are possible spoilers up to the first episode of s8 for SG-1.
Warnings: None
Summary: Learning the limits of a relationship.
Notes: Thanks again to my beta charlies_dragon. Daniel and Carson finally interact in this part. The next part may be a little way off, as I don't intend to post it until I am at least half way through part 3, so as not to leave you waiting too long between parts.
There was a some debate on some of the little details, but as there was no clear answer I had to make a choice, hopefully the right one. Any mistakes, are, as ever my very own.
Persuasion
It was amazing really, Daniel thought to himself as he navigated his way around the groups of loitering students, just how much remained the same no matter where you went. Every university and college that he’d visited so far had fitted the same mould as those that he himself had attended, not so long ago if he really thought about it and this one was no different, even through, somehow, he’d believed it would. After all, it had somehow managed to attract the man he had been sent to speak to, a man who Daniel had never expected to end up teaching.
Of the six people he’d approached over the last week, only two had been interested in his offer, the others not liking how little information he could give them about the project in question and he couldn’t really blame them for that. He could however, regret not walking away from his meeting with the incredibly irritating Doctor Kavanagh, who was all too full of himself for Daniel’s liking. Yet Doctor Weir had requested him specially, so really, Daniel hadn’t had any choice but to include him. Dr Kusanagi on the other hand, Daniel liked, she was someone who seemed to really love her work, as well as just being a really sweet person and the complete polar opposite of Kavanagh.
Shaking his head faintly, Daniel smiled as he remembered how she’d gone out of her way to make sure he had as nice a time as was possible, despite his assurances that it really wasn’t necessary. None of the other scientists that he had approached had even seemed to care if he was comfortable or not. In fact, Kavanagh had seemed to enjoy trying to make him feel as uncomfortable as was humanly possible, so it had been a nice change. This time however, Daniel doubted he was going to get a very warm welcome.
He glanced quickly at his campus map, checking that this was indeed the right place, before squinting up at the building in front of him and idly wondering if the architect could have made it any uglier if he’d tried, through apparently, this building was considered to be a work of architectural genius. Shuddering Daniel lowered his eyes as he headed towards the main door, not really wanting to think about just what that meant.
The Frost Lecture Theatre. That was where the receptionist had told him he would find the man he was looking for. She’d also told him that the lecture was due to finish in fifteen minutes or so and that she was sure the good doctor wouldn’t mind Daniel slipping in and waiting at the back until he was finished, just as long as Daniel didn’t distract his students too much. Under different circumstances he would have laughed, but he was a little too busy wondering why he’d agreed to this to think about the irony of the situation. He was after all, looking for a lecture theatre that had been named after Robert Frost.
Scanning the sighs on the wall next to him he wasn’t surprised to find that that particular room was at the other end of the corridor, it seemed about par for the course really.
Heading down the corridor, he noted idly that each of the rooms seemed to be named after a writer from a different county, which was odd really, considering the fact that from what he could tell, this particular building was used by a variety of departments, then again, for all he knew, the building could have originally been used to house the English department.
Daniel slowed as he reached his final destination, taking a few deep breaths in an attempt to work up some much needed courage before pushing the door open carefully and slipping into the room, relieved to find himself at the back and out of the direct line of sight of anyone towards the front of the hall.
Dropping quietly into one of the far most seats, he allowed himself to relax, closing his eyes as he listened, wondering how he could ever have forgotten just how beautiful the other’s man’s voice really was.
--
Watching as his students filed out of the room, smiling in reply to the few good wishes sent his way whilst advising the few who had had some trouble understanding what he had just covered on which text books would be the best for their particular problems, welcomed the distraction from the extra presence. One that wasn’t all together unwelcome, he had to admit, if even just to himself. Even after all these years, he still longed to feel those gentle arms around him, just one more time.
As the last of the young medical students pushed through the door, he finally allowed himself to turn and take a good look at the man stood casually at the back of the lecture theatre. Dressed in what looked to be a rather expensive suit, with a small case slung over one shoulder and hair shorter than it had been when they had last seen each other, was Daniel Jackson, the man who’s existence he had cursed on numerous occasions and who, last Carson had heard, had been announced dead. That, Doctor Beckett thought to himself, was most obviously not the case.
“What brings the great archaeologist intae one o’ ma advanced genetics lectures?”
Daniel shrugged easily, finally making his way down the aisle and to the front of the lecture theatre. “A job offer actually.”
Carson raised an eyebrow. “Oh aye?”
Daniel smiled faintly nodding, never once breaking eye contract. “Yeah, but I can’t say anything more, until we get to a more,” Daniel waved a hand towards the doors and the gathering students, “private area.”
Carson frowned, considering for a moment before nodding. “Aye, well I’ve got an office upstairs, just let me get mysel’ sorted.” Quickly gathering together his notes and cleaning off the board, he watched his companion out of the corner of his eye. It was a bit unsettling really, being so casual, especially considering the tone of their last meeting and the distinct lack of contact since. In fact, if he had been a different sort of man, Carson was pretty certain he would have just told Daniel where he could go.
--
Leading the way up to his office, neatly navigating his way through the small groups of students who always seemed to gather in the corridors between lectures, he couldn’t help but wonder about the job offer its self. He was a medical doctor, not an archaeologist, as Daniel was well aware, but if it didn’t have anything to do with archaeology, why was it that Daniel was the one approaching him? Then again Daniel was on the academic blacklist than somehow making enough money to buy the type of suit that he had never been able to afford during his stint as academic poster boy.
Pulling his keys out of his pocket Carson smiled at Susan, the young receptionist who had been assigned to himself and two of his fellow lecturers, knowing that soon enough, everyone would know that he had a guest, one who was male, young and attractive. Thankfully however, Daniel’s choice of attire would hopefully dissuade any further rumours spreading about his sexuality.
Pushing the door open he waved Daniel in, before quickly asking Susan if she could make sure they weren’t disturbed, as Doctor Jackson had come to discuss something very important and as such would not appreciate any interruptions. Nodding his thanks, he slid into the office himself, pulling the door shut behind him and silently thanking god that he had been given an office with walls thick enough to limit any eavesdropping. Slipping around the back of his desk, he dropped his notes into the middle draw quickly before sitting down and motioning for Daniel to do the same.
He watched silently as Daniel settled into the chair, gaze wandering around the room, fighting the urge to smile, apparently, some things never changed. Then again, Daniel just wouldn’t be Daniel without that endless curiosity. Finally allowing a smile to touch his lips Carson rested his elbows on his desk leaning forward, as he focused his attention on the man in front of him, waiting.
--
Daniel met Carson’s gaze for a moment before ducking his head, “I’m sorry.” It came out as a whisper, nothing like what he had been aiming for, but he knew he’d been heard nonetheless. Swallowing hard against the sudden lump in his throat, Daniel tilted his head slightly, examining his hands as he spoke. “I wrote you a letter, about, eight years ago now, but I didn’t post it. I meant to, but I never could.”
Laughing faintly at himself Daniel finally looked up, somehow managing to meet Carson’s gaze without flinching. “I thought about phoning, but I didn’t have a working phone, or any money,” Daniel shrugged, “so I wrote a letter, then I gave my lecture, or at least I tried.” Daniel shook his head faintly ducking his head once more, blinking back tears, “Then this woman, a really strange but really nice old woman made me an offer, which I couldn’t really refuse and then posting that letter just didn’t seem like the right thing any more.
“For eight years, I’ve kept that letter, hidden away in one of my old journals, waiting for the day when I could post it.” Daniel looked up, meeting those intense blue eyes once more. “The reason I’m here, the offer I’ve been asked to make you, it’s the same one as that old lady offered me. It’s an opportunity for you to do all those things I know you’ve always wanted to do.
“And, if you say yes, it also means that I’ll finally be able to share something with you that I have been longing to share with you for so long.” Daniel winced faintly, ducking his head. “I know that’s not much to go on, but, the fact is, I can’t tell you anything else unless you say yes.”
Carson rounded his desk carefully before dropping to his knees next to Daniel’s chair, letting his hands rest lightly on the other man’s knees, waiting patiently for the other man to get a hold of himself.
“You’re asking a lot of me love.” The other man met his gaze for a moment before ducking his head once more, nodding.
“I know.”
Carson took a deep breath, rocking back on his heels, allowing his gaze to wander over the man in front of him, finally allowing himself to catalogue the changes.
It wasn’t just the shorter hair, or the expensive suit, it was the new scars that he could see and the ones that he couldn’t, the way that the other man held himself and the added bulk.
The Daniel Jackson that Carson had known and loved had always carried a little extra weight, had always pretended to be much more confident of himself than he really was and had been much more open than the man in front of him. But then, Carson had to admit, he’d changed quite a bit himself since they’d parted ways. Twelve years was a long time.
Carson sighed shaking his head faintly, standing slowly, considering. “How long do you have?”
Daniel hesitated for a moment before answering. “My flight leaves late tomorrow.”
“Right then.” Carson shifted uncomfortably for a moment, gaze wondering around his office as he tried to remember if there was any outstanding work that really needed to be done, before giving in, knowing that even if he could remember he wasn’t likely to be capable to doing it in his present state. “I think, maybe, we should take this elsewhere.”
--
Daniel hung back, glancing around at his surroundings, idly noting the difference between this apartment block and those that he had lived in himself. It was nicer and definitely more than he could have afforded while he himself had been teaching, the walls were clean and a calming shade of cream, offsetting the dark wood of the apartment doors with their numbered plaques and single locks. Turning back to face the other man he watched as Carson searched frantically for his keys, hating how his presence seemed to affect the other man, despite knowing that really, it was to be expected. After all it wasn’t everyday that you met an ex-boyfriend turned up at your workplace and offered you a new job, which they couldn’t actually tell you anything about until you said yes.
Daniel sighed, he really should have just told Doctor Weir that he wasn’t the right person to approach Carson, but of course, that would have required him to have some of that common sense that Jack was always telling him he was so badly lacking. He was here now, so he’d just have to deal with it and hope that, if Carson refused, it wouldn’t be because it was him doing the asking.
Having finally found his keys, at the bottom of his small holdall, Carson was pushing the door of the apartment open and stepping inside, before gesturing nervously for Daniel to follow him in. Hesitating for a moment Daniel cast one final look around, eyes settling for a moment on the next door down, wondering idly just what the old woman peering out thought of him.
Shaking off the thought Daniel quickly moved into the apartment itself, closing the door carefully behind him as Carson vanished off into one of the rooms further down the small corridor, only to appear a few moments later less the holdall, but no less uncomfortable.
Carson smiled awkwardly at his guest, shifting uncomfortably under that all too familiar gaze. “It’s only a wee place, but it’s all that I needed really.” Daniel nodded slowly in understanding as he took in his surroundings, doing his best to be the polite guest, rather than the nosey ex.
“Well, we’d best sit down.” Carson turned quickly on his heel, leading the way into the lounge at the end of the hallway and waving Daniel towards the sofa as he himself carried on through into the attached kitchen. “Coffee?”
“Sure.” Daniel bit his lip hovering in the doorway for a moment before crossing to the sofa and dropping his small case onto the floor next to it before sitting down. Looking around Daniel found it hard not to wince at just how stark the room was, hoping that the rest of the rooms weren’t the same.
“I’m in the labs most of the time,” Carson’s voice was soft as he wandered back into the room. “so I havenae really had the time to do anything to this place.” he shrugged idly, smiling disarmingly.
“I know the feeling.”
“Aye?” Carson arched an eyebrow.
Daniel blushed faintly ducking his head. “Yeah.”
Carson nodded faintly, sighing, moving back into the kitchen as the coffee maker finished and quickly pouring them a cup of coffee each. Handing Daniel his mug, Carson settled into the chair opposite, placing his own mug on one of the many coasters scattered across the top of the table between them. “What exactly is it that you’re doing these days? Last I heard you weren’t exactly popular with your fellows.”
Daniel winced, leaning forward to place his own cup down carefully. “You heard about that huh?”
“Oh aye, it was hard not to.”
Daniel bit his lip nodding faintly. “Not one of my finest moments, I have to admit, through, it’s nice, not being in the shadow of academia anymore. Of course, considering who I’ve been working for past few years academia is kinda out of the question now anyhow.” He shrugged idly, smiling half heartedly before reaching for his coffee.
“Who you’ve been working for?” Carson frowned at the other man, not sure if he’d like what was coming or not.
Daniel hesitated for a moment, shifting uncomfortably in his seat, placing his mug back down on the table carefully. “I work for the military. Well, actually to begin with I thought I was working for Catherine, so a civilian project that was just being funded by the military, through, I should have really guessed, Cheyenne Mountain being military and all….” Daniel trailed off as he finally risked a glance in Carson’s direction.
“The military?” Carson shook his head mutely. “What do the military want with a disgraced archaeologist? I mean….” He stopped mid sentence, his hand falling back onto his knee. “Ah crap.”
“Carson?”
Carson sighed rubbing his forehead warily. “The military want me to work for them?”
Daniel grimaced, god this was complicated. “Yes, and no.”
“Daniel.”
“Technically you’ll be working for the military, but the project that they want you for is being run by a civilian, Doctor Elizabeth Weir.” Watching the man across from him, Daniel idly wondered what the hell had possessed him to think that this was the right way to go about explaining everything. Then again, he hadn’t exactly been thinking entirely clearly back in Carson’s office, then again, who would have been in his situation. But he couldn’t take any of it back, not now, he could, however, try and make it a little easier on both of them. Which meant not pushing any boundaries if he could help it.
Carson sighed softly, fighting the urge to laugh, knowing that it would come out sounding just slightly hysterical. Glancing down at his mug of tea he allowed himself to consider adding something just a little bit stronger.
“I’m, really not good at this.” Daniel winced faintly, ducking his head and taking a deep breath. “Carson, I know you really don’t have any reason to trust me, but, please, don’t say no because it’s me asking.”
Carson stood silently, rounding the table to sit carefully on the sofa next to the other man, placing a gentle hand on his knee, drawing his gaze. “I wouldn’t.”
Daniel froze, breaking eye contact to stare numbly at the hand resting on his knee, not sure what to say.
Carson squeezed Daniel’s knee gently, leaning closer as he spoke. “It’s been a long time, more than long enough for me to have dealt with everything that happened, to understand what happened.” He smiled fondly at the other man, “It broke my heart, watching you leave, knowing that you’d chosen your research over me, but I couldnae hate you.” Carson sighed shaking his head. “I could never hate you.”
Daniel gently rested his hand on top of Carson’s, fixed on the other man’s face, heart beating faster than he had thought possible. “I was scared.”
“Aye, I know.” Carson took a deep breath, nodding distractedly.
“It had nothing to do with you and everything to do with me.” Daniel sighed, dropping his gaze once more. “I was scared of committing, which was stupid really, I mean, we were sharing a flat, had been for more than two years, how much more committed can you get?” Shaking his head faintly Daniel played idly with Carson’s hand as he spoke. “After Soph’s wedding, I just started to wonder if you wanted something like that, well, I mean not THAT, but you know, something close, even if it wouldn’t have been legal. Then I got the offer from Professor Jordan.” Daniel hesitated for a moment before looking up, meeting Carson’s gaze solidly. “I wasn’t going to take it, unless you wanted to go with me, my research,” he shook his head faintly, taking a deep breath, “the truth is, I had that letter sat in one of my journals for a month before I showed it to you. Hell, I wasn’t going to show it to you, I knew you wouldn’t want to go, not then, but you’d started acting differently, talking about Lexie and Meg and the promise they made, and it scared me. So I told you about the offer.”
“Daniel…”
Covering Carson’s mouth with his free hand, Daniel shushed him gently. “I need to finish, to explain why I did what I did, please.”
Carson nodded mutely, squeezing Daniel’s hand gently, eyes shining.
Lowering his hand slowly, Daniel took a long careful breath before speaking. “It wasn’t the idea of promising myself to you that scared me, not really, it was just what it meant to me. Other than your family, almost every other couple I ever knew, they weren’t happy, not really. One of my foster mothers told me that she’d been happier during the three years she was engaged to her husband than she had ever been in the twenty they’d been married and Nick, Nick told me, that my parents…” Daniel ducked his head, squeezing his eyes shut for a moment, taking a deep breath before looking up again, “Nick told me that my parents never really got along when they didn’t have something else to occupy their minds, he told me that that was why we spent so much of our time on digs. I didn’t want that. I didn’t want US to be like that. So I lied, told you that my research was more important and then, I ran away.” Daniel bit his lip ducking his head as he gave in and let a tear run down his cheek, gasping softly in surprise as gentle hands pulled him into a tight embrace, hesitating for a moment before relaxing into it, allowing his eyes to drift closed.
--
His mother had been right.
It had been Christmas and as always the Christmas pudding has been made using as much Brandy as his mother had been able to get her hands on, enough that they never lit them like you were supposed to. His sisters had descended upon the house with their partners and children, through Emilie had been conspicuously absent, as always. He’d done his best to get into the spirit, playing with the younger children in the snow and doing his best to help his mother prepare everything, but it had been hard.
He’d stayed up with his mother on Christmas day, after everyone had found themselves places to sleep, knowing that she would appreciate the company. She’d plied him with bowls of pudding and stories about the Christmases past, telling him tales about the things his father had done to entertain them all back then, waiting until the brandy started to take effect before asking him about it. He’d never been a lightweight, but a day of eggnog, wine and Christmas pudding had taken him past his limit, so he’d been much more open to that particular conversation than he would have even been otherwise.
She’d scolded him when he’d told her that Daniel had never really loved him, even going so far as to tap him on the back of the head when he tried to argue, gently reminding him of all the things Daniel had willing put himself through during the course of their relationship. It had been then that she had dropped her bombshell, telling him quite bluntly, that Daniel had probably just run scared in the face of commitment, just like his own father had at first. That had silenced him.
All of his life he had looked up to his father, the tall, quiet, no-nonsense man who ruled their home with silent efficiency. It had never mattered that his father was only there for half the year, not to Carson at least. He’d treasured what attention his father gave him and welcomed the few chances that they had to spend time alone together as men. His father’s death, when he was 12, had been the driving force behind his decision to become a doctor. He’d wanted to be able to help people, make a difference, do what he hadn’t been able to do that day. His father had been perfect, flawless, the kind of man that Carson could only hope to become.
It was odd, Carson knew, to have kept that view for so long, but then, his mother had been trying for a long time to make her youngest children realise that their father hadn’t been perfect, it just hadn’t ever sunk in until that moment.
She’d kept talking after that, taking advantage of his silence, reassuring him that it was natural to feel betrayed, to want to hate Daniel for leaving him, but he had to understand that Daniel had his reasons. He’d wondered then, if Daniel had told his mother why he was leaving, the things that he hadn’t been able to tell Carson, as through reading his mind. He’d felt slighted, until he’d met her gaze. She hadn’t needed Daniel to tell her, she’d been in Carson’s position herself, once, she knew what it was like.
He’d cried then, for the first time since he’d watched Daniel leave, his mother rocking him gently in her arms, offering her silent understanding. He couldn’t remember how long they’d sat like that before his mother had gently eased out from under him, vanishing into the kitchen for a few minutes, returning with a cup of strong tea and some blankets.
He couldn’t help but wonder what his mother would think if she could see them now.
Carson closed his eyes, allowing himself to enjoy the moment knowing that it wouldn’t last that long but wanting it to, so badly.
--
Daniel took a deep breath inhaling Carson’s scent, wondering yet again just what had possessed him to do what he’d done, to walk out on what had probably been the best thing in his life.
“Carson.” He breathed the other man’s name softly, pulling back slightly desperate to see those beautiful blue eyes, to know how he felt about what was happening.
Carson smiled softly, lifting a hand to caress Daniel’s face gently, eyes shining. “Thank you, for telling me, through you needn’t have.” Lowering his hand he covered Daniel’s gently. “Hearing it from you, it means a lot.”
Daniel couldn’t help but return the smile, running his thumb across the top of Carson’s hand. “I’m sorry it took so long.”
“Aye, so’m I, but you got here in the end.” Carson glanced sideways at Daniel’s case. “I dinnae suppose you brought that letter with you?”
Daniel blushed, ducking his head, “Ummm, no.” He shrugged helplessly. “Plus, I really don’t think you want to read it, I mean, I wasn’t exactly in my right mind at the time and I’ve kinda added to it over the years, which I guess, really makes it classified, only no one knows about it so…”
Carson fought not to laugh, it was amazing how some things didn’t change, no matter what happened. “Daniel.” He silenced the other man gently, patting his hand gently.
“Sorry.”
Carson shook his head fondly, “No worries love.”
“I think I ruined the whole serious job offer talk with my little confession didn’t I?”
“Aye you did.” Carson glanced at the clock, startled to find that over two hours had passed since they’d got in. “But I think we’re well over due a meal and we cannae talk about such things on an empty stomach.”
Daniel arched an eyebrow. “We can’t?”
Carson laughed despite himself, some thing about Daniel Jackson really didn’t change.
--
Carson watched Daniel eat with a critical eye, surprised by the speed with which the other man was making his way through his plate full of Sheppard’s Pie, not really knowing what to make of it.
“When did you eat last?”
Daniel slowed, startled blue eyes meeting Carson’s across the worktop, a slight blush colouring his cheeks. “The last weeks been mainly airline food to be honest, I’ve had a lot of places to go.” Daniel shrugged helplessly, leaving Carson to wonder just how often Daniel had found himself doing similar things, “Plus, to be honest with you? I haven’t had food this good in a long time.”
Carson raised an eyebrow. “You forgot how to cook?” He asked wryly gaining one of Daniel’s patented over glasses looks in reply.
“I don’t have all that much time these days, they keep me busy.”
“Aye, lots of translations for you to be getting on with.”
There was a moment’s awkward silence before Daniel answered, telling Carson all he needed to know. “More than any one man could manage to complete in a lifetime.”
Carson nodded slowly, pushing the last few scraps of his meal around his plate idly.
“Carson.” Daniel laid his folk down carefully on his plate, “As much as I want to tell you? I can’t, not unless you accept Doctor Weir’s offer and even then, I wouldn’t be able to tell you much while I’m here, there just isn’t enough time.”
Carson sighed softly, nodding, gaze dropping. “Aye.”
“Carson.” Daniel drew out his name carefully, adding meaning in a way only he could, reaching across to cover one of Carson’s hands with his own. “Whatever happens, I swear, one day I will tell you everything.”
Carson hesitated for a moment, gazing into those clear blue depths. “I’ll hold you to that.”
Daniel smiled faintly, nodding. “Good. Now, what’s for dessert?”
--
Carson eased himself back down onto the sofa next to Daniel, careful to leave a small space between the two of them. “You said a Doctor Weir asked you to come?”
“Doctor Elizabeth Weir.” Daniel supplied nodding as he took a careful sip of his coffee. “She’s the one in charge of the project, you might have heard of her through, she’s mediated a few of the UN’s more important negotiations.”
Carson shook his head slowly. “No, I havenae heard of her, but I’ve never really cared for politics. Makes me wonder mind.” Daniel arched an eyebrow, resting his coffee on his knee. “A political expert wants me to work for her?”
Daniel winced, “Yeah, like I said before it’s complicated. Doctor Weir was given command because she’s a civilian and because she’s somewhat highly regarded by the international community.”
Carson sighed shaking his head, rubbing his forehead. “Aye. Am I allowed to ask where I’d be working?”
Daniel bit his led, head tilting to one side as he considered the contents of his cup. “Antarctica.”
Forgetting how to breathe for a moment while he tried to process that particular piece of information, he was only half aware of Daniel’s panic tinged voice asking if he was alright. Seconds later his lungs forced him to breathe and he turned disbelieving eyes on Daniel. “Of course I’m not bloody alright! Why would anybody want me to work in Antarctica? I’m a Doctor not a bloody Eskimo!”
Daniel flinched, fiddling nervously with his cup. “Well, actually…”
Carson shook his head, eyes glittering. “Don’t you even dare Daniel Jackson, I do not need a bloody history lesson right now.”.
Daniel bit his lip hard, nodding silently, eyes downcast.
Closing his eyes, Carson took a few careful deep breaths, calming himself, before opening them again to watch Daniel. “Doctor Elizabeth Weir wants me to work on her project, which is based in Antarctica.”
“Basically, yes.” Daniel nodded, avoiding meeting Carson’s gaze.
“Basically.” Carson drew the word out slowly, eyes flinty.
“They’re still working on getting permission to actually work where they want to, so, for the time being you’d probably be working elsewhere.” Daniel shrugged helplessly. “Politics.”
Carson sighed heavily, leaning back into the sofa’s cushions, one hand rubbing his temple warily. “You werenae kidding when you said it was complicated were you?”
Daniel smiled crookedly, shaking his head. “No I wasn’t, sorry.”
“This isn’t the kind of thing that I normally do.” Carson breathed finally, gaze settling on a point on the wall opposite.
Daniel nodded slowly, smiling fondly. “I know, you’ve never really been the adventurous type and that’s not a bad thing…”
Carson laughed raising an eyebrow at the other man. “That’s not what you used tae say.”
Daniel blushed bright red ducking his head. “Ummmm, could we not talk about THAT?” Blue eyes turned pleading. “Please?”
Carson nodded slowly, his smile fading slightly. “I don’t suppose I could sleep on this and give you an answer in the morning could I?”
“Of course, I wasn’t expecting you to give me an answer straight off. Hell, I can give you my phone number and a few days if you want.”
Carson shook his head. “Give me ‘til tomorrow, else I’ll never make up my mind.”
Daniel nodded his understanding, before glancing at the clock. “Well, I guess I’d…”
Carson cut him off gently. “Oh no you don’t, you’re staying here tonight,” holding up a hand he gently stayed Daniel’s protest, “an’ I’ll not hear any argument from you.”
Daniel hesitated, glancing down at his bag for a moment before nodding. “If you’re sure.”
“I am.”
Daniel let out a long careful breath before nodding again, gaze wandering around the room. “Okay.”
Deciding to take pity on the other man Carson stood gathering their cups together and heading into the kitchen. “Another coffee?”
Daniel smiled gratefully. “Please.”
Author: The Schizophrenic Gatekeeper
Email: schizophrenics_r_never_lonely@hotmail.com
Rating: G
Pairings: Carson/Daniel
Category: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Romance, Slash, Drama, Character study
Season: Between s7 and s8 SG-1, pre s1 SGA
Spoilers: Still pre-atlantis, but there are possible spoilers up to the first episode of s8 for SG-1.
Warnings: None
Summary: Learning the limits of a relationship.
Notes: Thanks again to my beta charlies_dragon. Daniel and Carson finally interact in this part. The next part may be a little way off, as I don't intend to post it until I am at least half way through part 3, so as not to leave you waiting too long between parts.
There was a some debate on some of the little details, but as there was no clear answer I had to make a choice, hopefully the right one. Any mistakes, are, as ever my very own.
Persuasion
It was amazing really, Daniel thought to himself as he navigated his way around the groups of loitering students, just how much remained the same no matter where you went. Every university and college that he’d visited so far had fitted the same mould as those that he himself had attended, not so long ago if he really thought about it and this one was no different, even through, somehow, he’d believed it would. After all, it had somehow managed to attract the man he had been sent to speak to, a man who Daniel had never expected to end up teaching.
Of the six people he’d approached over the last week, only two had been interested in his offer, the others not liking how little information he could give them about the project in question and he couldn’t really blame them for that. He could however, regret not walking away from his meeting with the incredibly irritating Doctor Kavanagh, who was all too full of himself for Daniel’s liking. Yet Doctor Weir had requested him specially, so really, Daniel hadn’t had any choice but to include him. Dr Kusanagi on the other hand, Daniel liked, she was someone who seemed to really love her work, as well as just being a really sweet person and the complete polar opposite of Kavanagh.
Shaking his head faintly, Daniel smiled as he remembered how she’d gone out of her way to make sure he had as nice a time as was possible, despite his assurances that it really wasn’t necessary. None of the other scientists that he had approached had even seemed to care if he was comfortable or not. In fact, Kavanagh had seemed to enjoy trying to make him feel as uncomfortable as was humanly possible, so it had been a nice change. This time however, Daniel doubted he was going to get a very warm welcome.
He glanced quickly at his campus map, checking that this was indeed the right place, before squinting up at the building in front of him and idly wondering if the architect could have made it any uglier if he’d tried, through apparently, this building was considered to be a work of architectural genius. Shuddering Daniel lowered his eyes as he headed towards the main door, not really wanting to think about just what that meant.
The Frost Lecture Theatre. That was where the receptionist had told him he would find the man he was looking for. She’d also told him that the lecture was due to finish in fifteen minutes or so and that she was sure the good doctor wouldn’t mind Daniel slipping in and waiting at the back until he was finished, just as long as Daniel didn’t distract his students too much. Under different circumstances he would have laughed, but he was a little too busy wondering why he’d agreed to this to think about the irony of the situation. He was after all, looking for a lecture theatre that had been named after Robert Frost.
Scanning the sighs on the wall next to him he wasn’t surprised to find that that particular room was at the other end of the corridor, it seemed about par for the course really.
Heading down the corridor, he noted idly that each of the rooms seemed to be named after a writer from a different county, which was odd really, considering the fact that from what he could tell, this particular building was used by a variety of departments, then again, for all he knew, the building could have originally been used to house the English department.
Daniel slowed as he reached his final destination, taking a few deep breaths in an attempt to work up some much needed courage before pushing the door open carefully and slipping into the room, relieved to find himself at the back and out of the direct line of sight of anyone towards the front of the hall.
Dropping quietly into one of the far most seats, he allowed himself to relax, closing his eyes as he listened, wondering how he could ever have forgotten just how beautiful the other’s man’s voice really was.
--
Watching as his students filed out of the room, smiling in reply to the few good wishes sent his way whilst advising the few who had had some trouble understanding what he had just covered on which text books would be the best for their particular problems, welcomed the distraction from the extra presence. One that wasn’t all together unwelcome, he had to admit, if even just to himself. Even after all these years, he still longed to feel those gentle arms around him, just one more time.
As the last of the young medical students pushed through the door, he finally allowed himself to turn and take a good look at the man stood casually at the back of the lecture theatre. Dressed in what looked to be a rather expensive suit, with a small case slung over one shoulder and hair shorter than it had been when they had last seen each other, was Daniel Jackson, the man who’s existence he had cursed on numerous occasions and who, last Carson had heard, had been announced dead. That, Doctor Beckett thought to himself, was most obviously not the case.
“What brings the great archaeologist intae one o’ ma advanced genetics lectures?”
Daniel shrugged easily, finally making his way down the aisle and to the front of the lecture theatre. “A job offer actually.”
Carson raised an eyebrow. “Oh aye?”
Daniel smiled faintly nodding, never once breaking eye contract. “Yeah, but I can’t say anything more, until we get to a more,” Daniel waved a hand towards the doors and the gathering students, “private area.”
Carson frowned, considering for a moment before nodding. “Aye, well I’ve got an office upstairs, just let me get mysel’ sorted.” Quickly gathering together his notes and cleaning off the board, he watched his companion out of the corner of his eye. It was a bit unsettling really, being so casual, especially considering the tone of their last meeting and the distinct lack of contact since. In fact, if he had been a different sort of man, Carson was pretty certain he would have just told Daniel where he could go.
--
Leading the way up to his office, neatly navigating his way through the small groups of students who always seemed to gather in the corridors between lectures, he couldn’t help but wonder about the job offer its self. He was a medical doctor, not an archaeologist, as Daniel was well aware, but if it didn’t have anything to do with archaeology, why was it that Daniel was the one approaching him? Then again Daniel was on the academic blacklist than somehow making enough money to buy the type of suit that he had never been able to afford during his stint as academic poster boy.
Pulling his keys out of his pocket Carson smiled at Susan, the young receptionist who had been assigned to himself and two of his fellow lecturers, knowing that soon enough, everyone would know that he had a guest, one who was male, young and attractive. Thankfully however, Daniel’s choice of attire would hopefully dissuade any further rumours spreading about his sexuality.
Pushing the door open he waved Daniel in, before quickly asking Susan if she could make sure they weren’t disturbed, as Doctor Jackson had come to discuss something very important and as such would not appreciate any interruptions. Nodding his thanks, he slid into the office himself, pulling the door shut behind him and silently thanking god that he had been given an office with walls thick enough to limit any eavesdropping. Slipping around the back of his desk, he dropped his notes into the middle draw quickly before sitting down and motioning for Daniel to do the same.
He watched silently as Daniel settled into the chair, gaze wandering around the room, fighting the urge to smile, apparently, some things never changed. Then again, Daniel just wouldn’t be Daniel without that endless curiosity. Finally allowing a smile to touch his lips Carson rested his elbows on his desk leaning forward, as he focused his attention on the man in front of him, waiting.
--
Daniel met Carson’s gaze for a moment before ducking his head, “I’m sorry.” It came out as a whisper, nothing like what he had been aiming for, but he knew he’d been heard nonetheless. Swallowing hard against the sudden lump in his throat, Daniel tilted his head slightly, examining his hands as he spoke. “I wrote you a letter, about, eight years ago now, but I didn’t post it. I meant to, but I never could.”
Laughing faintly at himself Daniel finally looked up, somehow managing to meet Carson’s gaze without flinching. “I thought about phoning, but I didn’t have a working phone, or any money,” Daniel shrugged, “so I wrote a letter, then I gave my lecture, or at least I tried.” Daniel shook his head faintly ducking his head once more, blinking back tears, “Then this woman, a really strange but really nice old woman made me an offer, which I couldn’t really refuse and then posting that letter just didn’t seem like the right thing any more.
“For eight years, I’ve kept that letter, hidden away in one of my old journals, waiting for the day when I could post it.” Daniel looked up, meeting those intense blue eyes once more. “The reason I’m here, the offer I’ve been asked to make you, it’s the same one as that old lady offered me. It’s an opportunity for you to do all those things I know you’ve always wanted to do.
“And, if you say yes, it also means that I’ll finally be able to share something with you that I have been longing to share with you for so long.” Daniel winced faintly, ducking his head. “I know that’s not much to go on, but, the fact is, I can’t tell you anything else unless you say yes.”
Carson rounded his desk carefully before dropping to his knees next to Daniel’s chair, letting his hands rest lightly on the other man’s knees, waiting patiently for the other man to get a hold of himself.
“You’re asking a lot of me love.” The other man met his gaze for a moment before ducking his head once more, nodding.
“I know.”
Carson took a deep breath, rocking back on his heels, allowing his gaze to wander over the man in front of him, finally allowing himself to catalogue the changes.
It wasn’t just the shorter hair, or the expensive suit, it was the new scars that he could see and the ones that he couldn’t, the way that the other man held himself and the added bulk.
The Daniel Jackson that Carson had known and loved had always carried a little extra weight, had always pretended to be much more confident of himself than he really was and had been much more open than the man in front of him. But then, Carson had to admit, he’d changed quite a bit himself since they’d parted ways. Twelve years was a long time.
Carson sighed shaking his head faintly, standing slowly, considering. “How long do you have?”
Daniel hesitated for a moment before answering. “My flight leaves late tomorrow.”
“Right then.” Carson shifted uncomfortably for a moment, gaze wondering around his office as he tried to remember if there was any outstanding work that really needed to be done, before giving in, knowing that even if he could remember he wasn’t likely to be capable to doing it in his present state. “I think, maybe, we should take this elsewhere.”
--
Daniel hung back, glancing around at his surroundings, idly noting the difference between this apartment block and those that he had lived in himself. It was nicer and definitely more than he could have afforded while he himself had been teaching, the walls were clean and a calming shade of cream, offsetting the dark wood of the apartment doors with their numbered plaques and single locks. Turning back to face the other man he watched as Carson searched frantically for his keys, hating how his presence seemed to affect the other man, despite knowing that really, it was to be expected. After all it wasn’t everyday that you met an ex-boyfriend turned up at your workplace and offered you a new job, which they couldn’t actually tell you anything about until you said yes.
Daniel sighed, he really should have just told Doctor Weir that he wasn’t the right person to approach Carson, but of course, that would have required him to have some of that common sense that Jack was always telling him he was so badly lacking. He was here now, so he’d just have to deal with it and hope that, if Carson refused, it wouldn’t be because it was him doing the asking.
Having finally found his keys, at the bottom of his small holdall, Carson was pushing the door of the apartment open and stepping inside, before gesturing nervously for Daniel to follow him in. Hesitating for a moment Daniel cast one final look around, eyes settling for a moment on the next door down, wondering idly just what the old woman peering out thought of him.
Shaking off the thought Daniel quickly moved into the apartment itself, closing the door carefully behind him as Carson vanished off into one of the rooms further down the small corridor, only to appear a few moments later less the holdall, but no less uncomfortable.
Carson smiled awkwardly at his guest, shifting uncomfortably under that all too familiar gaze. “It’s only a wee place, but it’s all that I needed really.” Daniel nodded slowly in understanding as he took in his surroundings, doing his best to be the polite guest, rather than the nosey ex.
“Well, we’d best sit down.” Carson turned quickly on his heel, leading the way into the lounge at the end of the hallway and waving Daniel towards the sofa as he himself carried on through into the attached kitchen. “Coffee?”
“Sure.” Daniel bit his lip hovering in the doorway for a moment before crossing to the sofa and dropping his small case onto the floor next to it before sitting down. Looking around Daniel found it hard not to wince at just how stark the room was, hoping that the rest of the rooms weren’t the same.
“I’m in the labs most of the time,” Carson’s voice was soft as he wandered back into the room. “so I havenae really had the time to do anything to this place.” he shrugged idly, smiling disarmingly.
“I know the feeling.”
“Aye?” Carson arched an eyebrow.
Daniel blushed faintly ducking his head. “Yeah.”
Carson nodded faintly, sighing, moving back into the kitchen as the coffee maker finished and quickly pouring them a cup of coffee each. Handing Daniel his mug, Carson settled into the chair opposite, placing his own mug on one of the many coasters scattered across the top of the table between them. “What exactly is it that you’re doing these days? Last I heard you weren’t exactly popular with your fellows.”
Daniel winced, leaning forward to place his own cup down carefully. “You heard about that huh?”
“Oh aye, it was hard not to.”
Daniel bit his lip nodding faintly. “Not one of my finest moments, I have to admit, through, it’s nice, not being in the shadow of academia anymore. Of course, considering who I’ve been working for past few years academia is kinda out of the question now anyhow.” He shrugged idly, smiling half heartedly before reaching for his coffee.
“Who you’ve been working for?” Carson frowned at the other man, not sure if he’d like what was coming or not.
Daniel hesitated for a moment, shifting uncomfortably in his seat, placing his mug back down on the table carefully. “I work for the military. Well, actually to begin with I thought I was working for Catherine, so a civilian project that was just being funded by the military, through, I should have really guessed, Cheyenne Mountain being military and all….” Daniel trailed off as he finally risked a glance in Carson’s direction.
“The military?” Carson shook his head mutely. “What do the military want with a disgraced archaeologist? I mean….” He stopped mid sentence, his hand falling back onto his knee. “Ah crap.”
“Carson?”
Carson sighed rubbing his forehead warily. “The military want me to work for them?”
Daniel grimaced, god this was complicated. “Yes, and no.”
“Daniel.”
“Technically you’ll be working for the military, but the project that they want you for is being run by a civilian, Doctor Elizabeth Weir.” Watching the man across from him, Daniel idly wondered what the hell had possessed him to think that this was the right way to go about explaining everything. Then again, he hadn’t exactly been thinking entirely clearly back in Carson’s office, then again, who would have been in his situation. But he couldn’t take any of it back, not now, he could, however, try and make it a little easier on both of them. Which meant not pushing any boundaries if he could help it.
Carson sighed softly, fighting the urge to laugh, knowing that it would come out sounding just slightly hysterical. Glancing down at his mug of tea he allowed himself to consider adding something just a little bit stronger.
“I’m, really not good at this.” Daniel winced faintly, ducking his head and taking a deep breath. “Carson, I know you really don’t have any reason to trust me, but, please, don’t say no because it’s me asking.”
Carson stood silently, rounding the table to sit carefully on the sofa next to the other man, placing a gentle hand on his knee, drawing his gaze. “I wouldn’t.”
Daniel froze, breaking eye contact to stare numbly at the hand resting on his knee, not sure what to say.
Carson squeezed Daniel’s knee gently, leaning closer as he spoke. “It’s been a long time, more than long enough for me to have dealt with everything that happened, to understand what happened.” He smiled fondly at the other man, “It broke my heart, watching you leave, knowing that you’d chosen your research over me, but I couldnae hate you.” Carson sighed shaking his head. “I could never hate you.”
Daniel gently rested his hand on top of Carson’s, fixed on the other man’s face, heart beating faster than he had thought possible. “I was scared.”
“Aye, I know.” Carson took a deep breath, nodding distractedly.
“It had nothing to do with you and everything to do with me.” Daniel sighed, dropping his gaze once more. “I was scared of committing, which was stupid really, I mean, we were sharing a flat, had been for more than two years, how much more committed can you get?” Shaking his head faintly Daniel played idly with Carson’s hand as he spoke. “After Soph’s wedding, I just started to wonder if you wanted something like that, well, I mean not THAT, but you know, something close, even if it wouldn’t have been legal. Then I got the offer from Professor Jordan.” Daniel hesitated for a moment before looking up, meeting Carson’s gaze solidly. “I wasn’t going to take it, unless you wanted to go with me, my research,” he shook his head faintly, taking a deep breath, “the truth is, I had that letter sat in one of my journals for a month before I showed it to you. Hell, I wasn’t going to show it to you, I knew you wouldn’t want to go, not then, but you’d started acting differently, talking about Lexie and Meg and the promise they made, and it scared me. So I told you about the offer.”
“Daniel…”
Covering Carson’s mouth with his free hand, Daniel shushed him gently. “I need to finish, to explain why I did what I did, please.”
Carson nodded mutely, squeezing Daniel’s hand gently, eyes shining.
Lowering his hand slowly, Daniel took a long careful breath before speaking. “It wasn’t the idea of promising myself to you that scared me, not really, it was just what it meant to me. Other than your family, almost every other couple I ever knew, they weren’t happy, not really. One of my foster mothers told me that she’d been happier during the three years she was engaged to her husband than she had ever been in the twenty they’d been married and Nick, Nick told me, that my parents…” Daniel ducked his head, squeezing his eyes shut for a moment, taking a deep breath before looking up again, “Nick told me that my parents never really got along when they didn’t have something else to occupy their minds, he told me that that was why we spent so much of our time on digs. I didn’t want that. I didn’t want US to be like that. So I lied, told you that my research was more important and then, I ran away.” Daniel bit his lip ducking his head as he gave in and let a tear run down his cheek, gasping softly in surprise as gentle hands pulled him into a tight embrace, hesitating for a moment before relaxing into it, allowing his eyes to drift closed.
--
His mother had been right.
It had been Christmas and as always the Christmas pudding has been made using as much Brandy as his mother had been able to get her hands on, enough that they never lit them like you were supposed to. His sisters had descended upon the house with their partners and children, through Emilie had been conspicuously absent, as always. He’d done his best to get into the spirit, playing with the younger children in the snow and doing his best to help his mother prepare everything, but it had been hard.
He’d stayed up with his mother on Christmas day, after everyone had found themselves places to sleep, knowing that she would appreciate the company. She’d plied him with bowls of pudding and stories about the Christmases past, telling him tales about the things his father had done to entertain them all back then, waiting until the brandy started to take effect before asking him about it. He’d never been a lightweight, but a day of eggnog, wine and Christmas pudding had taken him past his limit, so he’d been much more open to that particular conversation than he would have even been otherwise.
She’d scolded him when he’d told her that Daniel had never really loved him, even going so far as to tap him on the back of the head when he tried to argue, gently reminding him of all the things Daniel had willing put himself through during the course of their relationship. It had been then that she had dropped her bombshell, telling him quite bluntly, that Daniel had probably just run scared in the face of commitment, just like his own father had at first. That had silenced him.
All of his life he had looked up to his father, the tall, quiet, no-nonsense man who ruled their home with silent efficiency. It had never mattered that his father was only there for half the year, not to Carson at least. He’d treasured what attention his father gave him and welcomed the few chances that they had to spend time alone together as men. His father’s death, when he was 12, had been the driving force behind his decision to become a doctor. He’d wanted to be able to help people, make a difference, do what he hadn’t been able to do that day. His father had been perfect, flawless, the kind of man that Carson could only hope to become.
It was odd, Carson knew, to have kept that view for so long, but then, his mother had been trying for a long time to make her youngest children realise that their father hadn’t been perfect, it just hadn’t ever sunk in until that moment.
She’d kept talking after that, taking advantage of his silence, reassuring him that it was natural to feel betrayed, to want to hate Daniel for leaving him, but he had to understand that Daniel had his reasons. He’d wondered then, if Daniel had told his mother why he was leaving, the things that he hadn’t been able to tell Carson, as through reading his mind. He’d felt slighted, until he’d met her gaze. She hadn’t needed Daniel to tell her, she’d been in Carson’s position herself, once, she knew what it was like.
He’d cried then, for the first time since he’d watched Daniel leave, his mother rocking him gently in her arms, offering her silent understanding. He couldn’t remember how long they’d sat like that before his mother had gently eased out from under him, vanishing into the kitchen for a few minutes, returning with a cup of strong tea and some blankets.
He couldn’t help but wonder what his mother would think if she could see them now.
Carson closed his eyes, allowing himself to enjoy the moment knowing that it wouldn’t last that long but wanting it to, so badly.
--
Daniel took a deep breath inhaling Carson’s scent, wondering yet again just what had possessed him to do what he’d done, to walk out on what had probably been the best thing in his life.
“Carson.” He breathed the other man’s name softly, pulling back slightly desperate to see those beautiful blue eyes, to know how he felt about what was happening.
Carson smiled softly, lifting a hand to caress Daniel’s face gently, eyes shining. “Thank you, for telling me, through you needn’t have.” Lowering his hand he covered Daniel’s gently. “Hearing it from you, it means a lot.”
Daniel couldn’t help but return the smile, running his thumb across the top of Carson’s hand. “I’m sorry it took so long.”
“Aye, so’m I, but you got here in the end.” Carson glanced sideways at Daniel’s case. “I dinnae suppose you brought that letter with you?”
Daniel blushed, ducking his head, “Ummm, no.” He shrugged helplessly. “Plus, I really don’t think you want to read it, I mean, I wasn’t exactly in my right mind at the time and I’ve kinda added to it over the years, which I guess, really makes it classified, only no one knows about it so…”
Carson fought not to laugh, it was amazing how some things didn’t change, no matter what happened. “Daniel.” He silenced the other man gently, patting his hand gently.
“Sorry.”
Carson shook his head fondly, “No worries love.”
“I think I ruined the whole serious job offer talk with my little confession didn’t I?”
“Aye you did.” Carson glanced at the clock, startled to find that over two hours had passed since they’d got in. “But I think we’re well over due a meal and we cannae talk about such things on an empty stomach.”
Daniel arched an eyebrow. “We can’t?”
Carson laughed despite himself, some thing about Daniel Jackson really didn’t change.
--
Carson watched Daniel eat with a critical eye, surprised by the speed with which the other man was making his way through his plate full of Sheppard’s Pie, not really knowing what to make of it.
“When did you eat last?”
Daniel slowed, startled blue eyes meeting Carson’s across the worktop, a slight blush colouring his cheeks. “The last weeks been mainly airline food to be honest, I’ve had a lot of places to go.” Daniel shrugged helplessly, leaving Carson to wonder just how often Daniel had found himself doing similar things, “Plus, to be honest with you? I haven’t had food this good in a long time.”
Carson raised an eyebrow. “You forgot how to cook?” He asked wryly gaining one of Daniel’s patented over glasses looks in reply.
“I don’t have all that much time these days, they keep me busy.”
“Aye, lots of translations for you to be getting on with.”
There was a moment’s awkward silence before Daniel answered, telling Carson all he needed to know. “More than any one man could manage to complete in a lifetime.”
Carson nodded slowly, pushing the last few scraps of his meal around his plate idly.
“Carson.” Daniel laid his folk down carefully on his plate, “As much as I want to tell you? I can’t, not unless you accept Doctor Weir’s offer and even then, I wouldn’t be able to tell you much while I’m here, there just isn’t enough time.”
Carson sighed softly, nodding, gaze dropping. “Aye.”
“Carson.” Daniel drew out his name carefully, adding meaning in a way only he could, reaching across to cover one of Carson’s hands with his own. “Whatever happens, I swear, one day I will tell you everything.”
Carson hesitated for a moment, gazing into those clear blue depths. “I’ll hold you to that.”
Daniel smiled faintly, nodding. “Good. Now, what’s for dessert?”
--
Carson eased himself back down onto the sofa next to Daniel, careful to leave a small space between the two of them. “You said a Doctor Weir asked you to come?”
“Doctor Elizabeth Weir.” Daniel supplied nodding as he took a careful sip of his coffee. “She’s the one in charge of the project, you might have heard of her through, she’s mediated a few of the UN’s more important negotiations.”
Carson shook his head slowly. “No, I havenae heard of her, but I’ve never really cared for politics. Makes me wonder mind.” Daniel arched an eyebrow, resting his coffee on his knee. “A political expert wants me to work for her?”
Daniel winced, “Yeah, like I said before it’s complicated. Doctor Weir was given command because she’s a civilian and because she’s somewhat highly regarded by the international community.”
Carson sighed shaking his head, rubbing his forehead. “Aye. Am I allowed to ask where I’d be working?”
Daniel bit his led, head tilting to one side as he considered the contents of his cup. “Antarctica.”
Forgetting how to breathe for a moment while he tried to process that particular piece of information, he was only half aware of Daniel’s panic tinged voice asking if he was alright. Seconds later his lungs forced him to breathe and he turned disbelieving eyes on Daniel. “Of course I’m not bloody alright! Why would anybody want me to work in Antarctica? I’m a Doctor not a bloody Eskimo!”
Daniel flinched, fiddling nervously with his cup. “Well, actually…”
Carson shook his head, eyes glittering. “Don’t you even dare Daniel Jackson, I do not need a bloody history lesson right now.”.
Daniel bit his lip hard, nodding silently, eyes downcast.
Closing his eyes, Carson took a few careful deep breaths, calming himself, before opening them again to watch Daniel. “Doctor Elizabeth Weir wants me to work on her project, which is based in Antarctica.”
“Basically, yes.” Daniel nodded, avoiding meeting Carson’s gaze.
“Basically.” Carson drew the word out slowly, eyes flinty.
“They’re still working on getting permission to actually work where they want to, so, for the time being you’d probably be working elsewhere.” Daniel shrugged helplessly. “Politics.”
Carson sighed heavily, leaning back into the sofa’s cushions, one hand rubbing his temple warily. “You werenae kidding when you said it was complicated were you?”
Daniel smiled crookedly, shaking his head. “No I wasn’t, sorry.”
“This isn’t the kind of thing that I normally do.” Carson breathed finally, gaze settling on a point on the wall opposite.
Daniel nodded slowly, smiling fondly. “I know, you’ve never really been the adventurous type and that’s not a bad thing…”
Carson laughed raising an eyebrow at the other man. “That’s not what you used tae say.”
Daniel blushed bright red ducking his head. “Ummmm, could we not talk about THAT?” Blue eyes turned pleading. “Please?”
Carson nodded slowly, his smile fading slightly. “I don’t suppose I could sleep on this and give you an answer in the morning could I?”
“Of course, I wasn’t expecting you to give me an answer straight off. Hell, I can give you my phone number and a few days if you want.”
Carson shook his head. “Give me ‘til tomorrow, else I’ll never make up my mind.”
Daniel nodded his understanding, before glancing at the clock. “Well, I guess I’d…”
Carson cut him off gently. “Oh no you don’t, you’re staying here tonight,” holding up a hand he gently stayed Daniel’s protest, “an’ I’ll not hear any argument from you.”
Daniel hesitated, glancing down at his bag for a moment before nodding. “If you’re sure.”
“I am.”
Daniel let out a long careful breath before nodding again, gaze wandering around the room. “Okay.”
Deciding to take pity on the other man Carson stood gathering their cups together and heading into the kitchen. “Another coffee?”
Daniel smiled gratefully. “Please.”