I don't wanna be part of the problem- I try so hard to get roughed up
So I am back from Sao Paolo and back to my beautiful civilian boyfriend. We had a special night last night but I am finally realizing why people stay with one person. Last night, everytime I closed my eyes I found myself wishing it was another guy. Why am I doing this to myself? I can't be satisfied with anyone but him, and he seems to be the only one resistant to all my charms. I guess the only thing he wants from me is what I'll have to settle for. I wonder why I need more than this also. All my life I have denied the prospects of love. So why him? It hurts that I can't be satisfied with companionship and sexual electricity. I guess the truth is I would like to be on top of his list for once. To be given a chance. But I know that he'll pick up another blond who is making the world a better place one smile at a time without a thought of me in his head. I wish he would come to me and say I want to try this out with us. What more can I say? I'll see you in your room tonight while both our hearts are breaking underneath the sheets.