(no subject)
i've been thinking so much lately i dunno how many brain cells i damaged =(
after a series of events..i've come to realise that things are really not qt the same anymore..and i doubt they'll ever return to the same way they used to be..
being away for the last 9 months in uk and coming back has allowed me to see things from a rather..detached and outta the picture view..
i've been exposed to the harsh reality of 'outta sight outta mind' effects
i've been caught in awkward moments of silence or just plain awkward scenarios with people i've v idealistically thot i would always share those special bonds with..
i've been disappointed with the changes that i've seen in many..
and more so..
i've been mulling over the depth of my Christian faith..and how grounded it really is.and no i am not doubting my faith..in fact quite on the contrary..i'm thinking that surely there's more to this..
and though there's the feeling of being in a limbo..belonging neither in singapore or in london..feeling like everywhere i'm at is just a temporal phase..i'm just thankful for this group of friends who have been so faithful in the friendship..sunday was a time i really really looked forward to..to attend church and lunch tgt after that..it was pretty much a community and sense of belonging that i've missed in my time away..and over the last 3 months..i've grown so comfortable amongst them that when i had my last svc and lunch tgt w them..a slight sense of nostalgia sunk in and it left me pretty hanging..but i thank God for the much needed assurance last night for that sms
"we r wif u wherever u may b & will still keep in contact, rite?"
and a sense of peace fell upon me because something in me tells me that i wont be disappointed again this time.
and i think this is only gonna be the start of more of such emotions to come...i know i'll miss the planets and all the crazy times we had..i know i'll definitely miss joyboy sorely but more so..i know i'm gonna miss my family..i sound like some emo kid but the whole last thingy is starting to kick in and beginning to overwhelm me..
and i have this hunch...that when i see my cousin off this wed..i'm gonna be crying just as badly as her and her mum..cos i know 10 days later its gonna be my turn to walk thru the security checks..
maybe time will stop.if i wish hard enuff.
after a series of events..i've come to realise that things are really not qt the same anymore..and i doubt they'll ever return to the same way they used to be..
being away for the last 9 months in uk and coming back has allowed me to see things from a rather..detached and outta the picture view..
i've been exposed to the harsh reality of 'outta sight outta mind' effects
i've been caught in awkward moments of silence or just plain awkward scenarios with people i've v idealistically thot i would always share those special bonds with..
i've been disappointed with the changes that i've seen in many..
and more so..
i've been mulling over the depth of my Christian faith..and how grounded it really is.and no i am not doubting my faith..in fact quite on the contrary..i'm thinking that surely there's more to this..
and though there's the feeling of being in a limbo..belonging neither in singapore or in london..feeling like everywhere i'm at is just a temporal phase..i'm just thankful for this group of friends who have been so faithful in the friendship..sunday was a time i really really looked forward to..to attend church and lunch tgt after that..it was pretty much a community and sense of belonging that i've missed in my time away..and over the last 3 months..i've grown so comfortable amongst them that when i had my last svc and lunch tgt w them..a slight sense of nostalgia sunk in and it left me pretty hanging..but i thank God for the much needed assurance last night for that sms
"we r wif u wherever u may b & will still keep in contact, rite?"
and a sense of peace fell upon me because something in me tells me that i wont be disappointed again this time.
and i think this is only gonna be the start of more of such emotions to come...i know i'll miss the planets and all the crazy times we had..i know i'll definitely miss joyboy sorely but more so..i know i'm gonna miss my family..i sound like some emo kid but the whole last thingy is starting to kick in and beginning to overwhelm me..
and i have this hunch...that when i see my cousin off this wed..i'm gonna be crying just as badly as her and her mum..cos i know 10 days later its gonna be my turn to walk thru the security checks..
maybe time will stop.if i wish hard enuff.