(no subject)
september and october flew by. november dragged it's ugliness on forever. december was dull. january things have picked up, a lot.
i think that in the past month of me being happier than i usually am, i have grown even more attached to everything here. for so, so, SO long i fought against commack. i didn't accept it here as my home for almost four years. my heart was in my old neighborhood, my old house, my old school, my old family.
in middle school i found my little niche. and i've stayed with them now for almost seven years. the people that i met then and most of the people i've met since have given me something to hold on to.
but still i was apathetic for a long time. i liked high school alright, but now, i love it alot. i complain, yeah. but i love it. and when you hold yourself back from REALLY loving something, it'll come back at you with a full force.
now when people say " oh ! well, we can.. oh, nevermind you're moving, right ? will you visit ? " i actually have to acknowledge the truth.
it sucks that it took me 9 years to adjust myself 115% to commack - and not only do i have to leave it, i don't know how much i'll be able to come back to it.
but on a lighter note, all this thinking is because i've been happy recently. i love just about everything about everything, which is pretty substantial. so i guess it's a bit of give and take.
enough of this.