yet again, boys
So I'm think I'm going crazy... there are just so many feelings and memories and just well everything going on in my head right now! Sorry about always talking about "feelings" but that is why I have this silly journal thing...so I can just sort out my feelings on life.
I'm sure that I love everything that I have done in my life >hook-up wise< now I haven't done that much but I think that is becaue I always had to really care about the person that I kiss. Well maybe that wasn't always te case, but it has been for at least the past year. Minus that one drunk'n night at johnny's party. *giggles* No when I have a clear head and no drinks in me I kiss only who I really care about...and sometimes even sometimes when I have had a few drinks.
But the trouble is I don't know who I like and Right now is not the best time to be looking for a guy. I'll be leaving for college soon, but then I think what if I really like this guy then maybe we could make it work....then the left side of my brain starts to yell!!
"No, You have seen it a million times!! It never works!! Think about it!"
then the right side of my brain goes
"Maybe your right but what if I wanna kiss this boy?"
The left side says
"Then kiss him!"
>But what if that is leading him on, I don't want to hurt him.
>Then don't kiss him or any other boys for the rest of the summer!!
> Easy for you to say! Her hornyness is on my side!
> Control yourself woman!
> It's dark in here and we may died!!!!!!!!!
Yeah so that is what is going on in my head whenever I'm not with this boy.... (Cause whenever I am with him my brain seems to say one thing to me..."He's pretty".
But I don't know what to do, I tried to think about other boys but I end up feeling bad cause I might hurt this awesome boy! who-may-have-a-crush-on-me-but-that-is-my-fault-for-flurting-with-him-but-I-couldn't-help-it-cause-he-was-just-such-a-sweet-heart-but-now-I'm-thinking-about-him-again-oh-crap.
he's pretty.
I think maybe I should stop this whole boy thing and just make all of my friendships storger while I have the time. But I know that the left side of my brain will not be done with that...(hornyness).
well I'm sorry about my being a "feelings-fart". Someone should just come up hit me, kiss me, and tell me to shut-up.
>That someone should be tall, have green eyes, and a penis...