(no subject)
So, I get this funny feeling sometimes, like I'm throwing away the best thing I could have in my life...I don't know what it is, or what it involves, or anything at all. It's just this feeling...and I can't really explain it, because it's almost like the thing is already gone...and there's a way I could get it back, but I can't find the way. Almost like I'm lost right now, and nobody knows it. Not even me. I dunno....I get it when I slow down...when I'm just sitting and not really doing a whole lot. I've been trying to stay busy, always doing something....but now my first semester of college is over...and I don't work at all for the next week because of a mix-up with the person who writes the schedule...and I just...I dunno. It's sort of like I'm in my own little world...just me, by myself. My family does things, accomplishes things. They're all moving forward in their lives in different ways. My friends, too, move forward. They're all always up to something, or working on something, or are in the middle of something. Everyone I know is going places or doing things or just living their lives. And it's a little bit like I just got left behind. Like someone turned a sign backwords and I went off on a seperate road from the rest of life. And now I'm just on that little path, going in the same circle day in and day out, nothing happening...and I can't find the road back to the rest of the world, because it's disappeared. And no one seems to notice that I'm not there anymore. Like in all the bussle of their lives, I was just forgotten when they took the right turn and I took the wrong one. I wish i knew what was going on in my life right now. I guess I'm just scared that I'll never find my way back, and that no one will ever notice but me, because no one remembers me. Or they do remember me, and the memories trick them into thinking I'm still there when I'm really miles behind, going in my little circles, all alone and forever alone.