Fluffy Christmas fic n. 2: Feliz Navidad
When you thought you were safe because I had already spammed your journals with my Christmas fic, well... you were wrong!
I had this other fic in my mind for months, and couldn't wait for Christmas to come to transform my visual fantasy in words. Now, I know I'm not a writer, so I still think my visual imagination was better than its description, but I write for fun after all, it's Christmas and... what's a Christmas without some snow and some warming Danny/Martin fluff?
This fic is half angsty, half fluffy... a good recipe, in my book. Enjoy.
In no way related to Noche Buena.
Title: Feliz Navidad
Author: Carrieross
Pairing: Danny/Martin
Rating: PG.
Warnings: angsty fluff. Christmas-fic.
Spoilers: none.
Disclaimer: Without a Trace and Danny and Martin belong to CBS & Warner Bros. I wish they were mine, but they aren’t!
Author’s note: thanks to lovely
redfairie19 and her fast, very clear beta.
Dedicated to
le_mot_mo, who had wished, for her Christmas, the gift of a Christmas fic. I hope you like it, sweetie.
Feliz Navidad
Danny covered himself up and stretched out an arm to switch off the light. The dark invaded the room. He curled in a ball, trying to warm himself in his empty bed.
His eyes fixed the obscurity before him, focusing the few shadows that could identify the objects on his nightstand.
Kids widening their eyes and exclaiming words of wonder. The Christmas tree blinking lights to redden their puffed faces. Little voices protesting against their mother when she called it bed time.
Danny’s Noche Buena, the Cuban version of Christmas Eve, had been rather happy, considering he had spent it with his brother’s family, brother excluded. Danny swallowed. His bottom lip disappeared under his top one. At least he didn’t have to worry about tossing and turning all night - the only thing he had to do tomorrow was visit Rafi in prison.
Free and alone on Christmas Day. He had a good Noche Buena, though, what else did he claim for? He felt pathetic. He was an adult who had had fun with his nephews and eaten well. He closed his eyes and laughed at himself, feeling pathetic indeed.
He idly wondered whether Martin’s Christmas would be better than his - the answer was a shudder as he figured Mr. Fitzgerald and a dreading lunch at his table. He chuckled softly. Poor Martin.
With these words dying on his mouth, Danny fell quietly asleep.
…………
Christmas Day, 11.00 a.m. In a daze, Danny slowly walked to his car to get back home.
The visit to his brother had been painful. Danny would have willingly paid somebody to go in his place to hear Rafi telling him that they’d have chocolate cake for dessert that day at the canteen or that in the afternoon Sylvia would come with the kids.
But really it was the images fluttering before his eyes, more than the words that were still echoing in his ears.
It was Rafi’s defeated expression when he was venting how much he was missing his family and how stupid he had been and how cruel the fate was with him that flustered Danny to no end.
Danny found it difficult to understand people’s weaknesses, especially when they mirrored his own. He was scared of making the wrong step and to find himself back in the hell where - he knew that in the back of his mind - he had never really moved away from.
So, though he honestly did his best to soothe Rafi, he had soon run away from Rafi’s pain only to find out that he wasn’t feeling any better, in the cold sun of the winter holy day.
Wearily, he reached the car and tried to ditch the bad thoughts from his mind. He distracted himself taking a mental note to check on an Italian restaurant in his neighborhood to ask if he could have lunch there and take in a little Christmas atmosphere. Then he would head home and wait until it was a working day.
The cell ringing caught him by surprise. Danny almost hoped for a new case. He could be useful to someone and spend in some company the rest of the day, let alone telling stories about his presumed blown plans.
Martin. Danny’s heart skipped a beat. Martin wasn’t in the list of the available agents for the day, so perhaps he had just called to give him his Christmas wishes. Either way, a Martin’s call would make his day certainly brighter.
“Yo, brother! You can’t live without me, can you?”
A moment of silence followed, and Danny thought maybe there indeed was a big case running, but finally Martin answered,
“Apparently. I was just wondering if you were up for a typical American Christmas lunch with my family, here at…”
Danny interrupted him,
“Wow! Can I profit of your invitation and ask some favors to the Deputy Director, who incidentally happen to be your father? I’d just need a quiet office room, an extra-bonus to buy some stylish clothes…”
He could almost see Martin rolling his eyes
“Yeah, funny. Anyway, you’ll be disappointed. My parents are in Europe as we talk. I’m at my Uncle Roger’s, Bonnie’s husband… widow.”
Danny pondered for a fraction of a second if he should switch to pride mode and pretend he was busy, but it was Martin on the phone, it was Christmas Day and he had been given the chance to spend it with Martin and, for God’s sake, that was heaven!
He extracted a pen from his jacket pocket, hurriedly dug in his car drawer for some paper and diligently wrote Martin's directions: take the GWB, then go west on 180 to Route 94 and exit a few miles before the town of Warwick, then drive through the suburbs... Danny thanked his job for being quite familiar to complicated itineraries and hung the cell.
…………
As he stopped the car, Danny glanced at the house. It was a perfect example of a white bourgeoisie housing: a white fence and a lovely garden were framing a house with a little porch and a sober appearance. A few subtle decorations were hanging on the door to remind the stranger of the Christmas holiday.
Danny walked hesitantly along the small path, feeling like an intruder who doesn’t belong the place he’s going to be, but when he got at the front door, he didn’t have to knock. The door swung open by a man whose eyes were shining blue and the smile was open and frank, silently welcoming him in. Danny nodded to thank Martin and returned his smile, his heart getting lighter,
“Jee, Martin, next time remind me to buy a GPS receiver. That was hard!”
“I so trust your cleverness, don’t I? Come in, you must be freezing!”
A sudden flow of heat invested Danny as he stepped inside and he instinctively unbuttoned his coat that Martin promptly offered to hang somewhere. As Danny was let alone, a man around 60 years old showed up and stretched out an arm to shake his hand. Martin’s uncle was polite, but there was a veil of sadness in his eyes. Danny knew where it was coming from. He had heard Martin talking about Aunt Bonnie a number of times and, seeing how much her family was still missing her, he regretted not having known her in life. This special person was probably guilty of having taught Martin bad things like love and generosity and Danny was immensely grateful to her for this.
As Martin was back, he was introduced to the rest of the family: Roger’s two daughters, the boyfriend of one of them and little Ava, about three something years old and a truly adorable chatter box.
The dining table was decorated in red and gold and a huge Christmas tree dominated the living room from its corner, elegant painted glass balls to dress it up and colored lights blinking restlessly to enlighten the room all around.
When Christmas lunch was announced, Danny sat on the chair pointed by Martin, who took a seat next to him and at the corner with Roger, who was at the head of the table.
…………
Martin was proud of himself.
He had debated for days whether to invite Danny over for Christmas but had ruled the idea out, assuming that Danny would decline the invitation in pride. Besides, Martin wasn’t sure it would be smart to give himself away, to risk losing the strong bond they had, certain that Danny would change his attitude, had he only a vague feeling that Martin had secret thoughts about the two of them.
Then, suddenly… a moment of distraction of his family, little Ava crying for some reason and Martin was left alone for a few minutes and caught himself dialing Danny’s memorized number and asking him to come to his uncle’s family.
When he had shut the cell, Martin was wearing a wide smile he was unable to put off.
Since that moment he had checked the time on his watch every other minute. When he had finally heard a car engine turning off out of the house, he had rushed to the door to welcome his special guest. Screw all his doubts about how little appropriate this was!
…………
Lunch was great. Martin had never been so happy at his uncle’s since Bonnie had died. He felt relaxed and cheerful. He couldn’t recall when it was the last time he was into such moods, if ever. Danny looked as if he was having fun, too, chatting with the girls and joking with Ava. He had such a way with children.
They all had laughed hard when one of Martin’s cousins noticed that Danny and Martin were dressed in quite the same way: fluffy sober pattern jumpers over a turtleneck sweater, like two teddy bears, ready to be hugged, a cousin suggested.
Danny could also be very serious. When the girls had cleared away the table and had moved to the kitchen, he had listened carefully and respectfully to Roger’s memories about his life with Bonnie and how things had changed since she had gone. He had to decline, not without effort, Roger’s insistent offer to have a drink together, but anything Danny did, he had done it with that natural grace of his that was one of the highlights that had made Martin fall in love with him.
A moment later, Danny was required to the kitchen by a shouting little girl in a flower dress and he had excused himself and left the room.
Martin kept company to his uncle, sharing a scotch and a deep conversation about their family and the plans Roger had for his and his daughters’ future.
…………
It was mid-afternoon when Martin reached the others in the kitchen. Danny was sitting on the floor, the little princess commanding him to do a number of things, like pretending to eat in a plastic little bowl she handed him, or asking him to speak Spanish and say Feliz Navidad again, laughing amused any time she heard the sweet words that meant Merry Christmas.
Martin’s cousin’s boyfriend took Ava in his arms and lifted her ignoring her mocking protest. Danny greeted Martin with some joke, but Martin’s attention shifted helplessly to the little pearls of sweat Danny was sporting on his neck and his forehead. When he finally realized he was staring at them, he shook his head slightly, wishing nobody had noticed.
They all started a new game with the little girl.
A moment later, Martin saw with the corner of his eyes Danny standing up and leaving the kitchen and assumed he needed a bathroom. Uncle Roger joined the joyful group and showed a camera to take new pictures of Ava, who was posing like a Hollywood star.
…………
After what seemed an eternity, Martin’s mind wondered on Danny’s long absence from the kitchen. He quickly gave his family an excuse and explored the ground floor in search of him. When he peered into the living room, he froze, startled by the tender scene.
Danny was there, his hands in his pockets, standing by the window glass. He had moved the curtain aside and was gazing outside, breathing so close to the glass that this was partially clouded and it wouldn’t get any better if Danny didn’t move from there.
From his perspective, Martin could see what had caught Danny’s attention so much. It had started to snow, the heavy flakes coming down in whirls and dancing gracefully before softly touching the ground.
Martin reached and joked,
“Aren’t you fed up with snow, already? New York’s winters don’t show you anything else for months.”
Danny didn’t turn his head from the mesmerizing show,
“This is different. It’s white and soft. There are no skyscrapers that hide its fall to me or cars treading on it with their wheels, turning it into mud. Here it’s white, untouched. Look, the ice crystals sparkle against the sunlight.”
Danny went on, voice a little broken,
“Do you know when it was the first time I saw the snow? I was nineteen. I went North… well, what seemed North to me then, to college. I remember my astonishment at the soft noise snow makes when you step on it, and the weird sensation at my feet pressing it, the snow retreating underneath, surrendering to my weight. I knew snow was white and cold, but nobody had told me how snow felt. It was a magic.”
Martin couldn’t stop himself. He got closer and, when he was side by side with Danny, he let his right arm stretch aside and his hand squeezing Danny’s left shoulder, while staring at the thick white fall out of the window. Danny didn’t move, didn’t wince. He stayed, eyes glued to the white flakes against the natural canvas of the sky, getting darker at the approaching of the evening.
Martin had never seen snow in that romantic way. All he knew was that snow was a part of his life, that it was white when it fell, but icy and brownish soon after. Snow was the annoying thing, several feet high, that he had to shovel from his garage entrance and the thing he had to prevent becoming slipping ice all around his house. Kids must be charged to become better men. All he knew is that he never stopped shovelling snow from entrances and paths, whenever at his family’s house. What he knew is that he had to work under the snow a million times in New York and that, therefore, he hated the snow.
He smiled, hand firmly in place on Danny’s shoulder, finally turning his head to look at Danny’s beautiful profile, until he caught his attention and Danny turned to gaze Martin, in an unusual way that made Martin shudder in panic. He quickly moved his hand away and played it down, talking about his long mornings spent shovelling the snow from his garden when he was at his parents.
He was interrupted by the confused noise of steps and chatter of Roger’s family, all rushing to the living room, dressed with their jackets or parkas. They loudly invited Danny and Martin to join them in the garden. The snow thickness on the ground was good enough to play outside.
…………
Martin was standing there, wrapped in his heavy jacket, a toque on his head and his hands trying to warm down in his pockets. His eyes were sparkling and his mouth was smiling incessantly. He couldn’t believe what he was seeing.
Danny had been obviously submitted by the two girls, Ava, and the only other young man and was lying with his back on the white ground, laughing so hard Martin thought he was going to suffocate. All the people were hovering on him and covering him everywhere with snow. His neck, his sleeves were all dripping icy water.
When Danny called his name in capitulation, Martin stepped in and came to the rescue of his wet friend, gathering some snow to make balls and starting a new battle, mockingly threatening his cousins with a dreading ‘Freeze’ that made everybody bursting into a laugh and answering ‘Yeah, of course. How do you know?’
Martin drew near Danny and offered him a hand to help him up, earning an openly thankful look that meant something Martin couldn’t read without freaking out.
…………
It was time to leave. Martin had been taken to his uncle’s by his cousin’s boyfriend, so now he would agreeably accept a lift by Danny. He would be the one to drive, though, being the itinerary back to New York a mystery to Danny, especially during a snowy evening.
They said their goodbyes. Little Ava cried her eyes out, already fancying Danny and Martin as her Princes charming, whereas Uncle Roger’s extorted them the promise they would soon be visiting again.
Martin started the car and they left.
…………
The streets were dark and the snowfall wasn’t slowing. Martin was driving carefully and slowly to avoid the ice and the cars of scared inexperienced drivers who were unevenly using their brakes.
The silence had settled in the car. No awkwardness in the total quiet, interrupted only by the undetectable noise of their breath, but the comfortable feeling of being together, intimately together. No need to vocalise it.
Martin’s mind wandered on the day he had just spent with Danny. Perfect, so perfect that Martin would shout it loud. Only that he couldn’t detect if his feeling about Danny showing an interest, a specific interest for him was real or just a trick of his imagination and why in the world he should be so scared.
Christmas was drifting away unrelentingly. He wanted to say something, to drag on the day, to stop it from running away, when he noticed that Danny was shivering,
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah, it’s that… this Christmas has been amazing and it’s over and… I don’t know. I don’t honestly know.”
Martin didn’t even try to run after his own escaping words,
“We could grab something light to eat and watch a movie at my place. After all, it’s still Christmas!”
He turned to see Danny’s reaction, but there was hardly any. Danny was leaning on his window with his forehead, apparently absorbed by his own thoughts.
They kept quiet for a while. Martin started to fret this time, Danny dropping his suggestion not being in his style.
When they reached the surroundings of Martin’s neighborhood, he decided to dig into it. At a red light, Martin turned toward Danny, only to find out that Danny was still shivering, less subtle than before.
“Hey, what’s up, man?” a concerned Martin broke out.
“I’m afraid I’m running some fever. I don’t know… everything seems so wrong…”
Now Martin was very worried, and not only for the cryptic statement,
“I’m taking you home.”
Not waiting for Danny’s answer he reversed the car and drove to Danny’s place.
…………
He was still shaking. Danny managed to open the door and switched the light on. Martin had his eyes locked upon him since they had parked the car. He forced Danny to his bedroom and made him sit on the edge of his bed. Though feverish, Danny was a little more relaxed and said something that may sound like a joke, if Martin didn’t suspect it wasn’t,
“Hey, you got us in my bedroom at our first date! I didn’t know you were a man who gets down to the brass tacks!”
Martin chuckled softly and sweetly glanced at Danny, while trying to let him get rid of the coat.
…………
Martin opened the fridge and lurked inside. There was a tropical fruit juice bottle that could do and he poured the liquid into a mug to carry it to the patient.
When he went back to the bedroom, Danny had changed his clothes and got into a sweater and sweat pants. Still sitting on his bed, he had a sorry expression on his face.
Martin teased him, hoping to soothe him in some way,
“It must have been when you lied on the white, romantic, but very humid snow.”
Looking very attentively at his feet, Danny muttered,
“I don’t think this is flu, Martin. This Christmas has been so weird. It started in a not very bright way, that is me visiting my brother, then I got your call, and you know the rest.”
A shudder interrupted him, giving Martin the time to lay the mug on the nightstand and take a seat beside him. He let Danny go ahead, whatever he meant to say. He knew it would be wasted time to ask Danny to crawl into his bed to fight his shudders and his fever.
Danny took on speaking, eyes staring at the wall and hands fiddling,
“I spent one of the… the very best Christmases of my life. Your family is great. I had so much fun. And… well, you… I… don’t know what to do. I’ve been wondering this for all the time. We… work well together, don’t we?” and Danny slowly turned toward Martin.
Martin exchanged the look with some hesitation, and nodded.
“We’re a team, aren’t we?” Danny went on.
“Yeah, we work well together and we’re a team, but I can’t see the point of your questions.”
Danny gazed at Martin, hurt expression in his eyes,
“Can’t you?”
Martin swallowed. It was his turn, now, and he would never forgive himself if he ignored his chance.
He met Danny in the eyes and let go, utterly and earnestly,
“My Christmas changed when you said you’d come. I couldn’t wait to see you there. You know, it was incredibly thrilling to talk with my uncle knowing that you were in the next room with my cousins. And when I saw you lying on the snow? I had to stay put or I’d lose it and hug you right there.”
Taking just a little break to get some air, he went on, eyes locked with Danny’s,
“What I’m trying to say is that, yes, we work well together and I’m worried because you’re running a fever and still sitting on the bed instead of being under the blankets and that I want to stay the night, because you’re shivering and your face tells me that you’re not feeling well. I want to be here and take care of you, and if you don’t wish to share your bed with me I can sleep on your couch, but I want to be here tonight. Actually, not only tonight, not only when you feel bad. You’re right, we really work well together. Keep me here Danny.”
Martin held his breath, lips parted in anxiety, waiting for Danny to reply.
Danny’s eyes got watery and Martin couldn’t tell whether it was the temperature or the emotion of the moment.
He finally whispered,
“Stay, Martin. I don’t want this Christmas to never end. I won’t shiver anymore if you are with me.”
Martin touched Danny’s hands and leaned to kiss him on his cheek. It was hot. Whether it was flu or not, the temperature was real. They would share the first kiss another time. Martin sweetly smiled at him.
…………
Danny covered himself up and stretched out an arm to switch off the light. The dark invaded the room. He curled in a ball, trying to warm himself… except that tonight he was warming against Martin’s body.
He quietly smiled. It had been the best Christmas gift he had ever had. He promised himself he would never throw it away. Ever.
Fin