Ashen Attack [CLOSED]

[tendtoenunciate]

WHO: Kanaya and Eridan
WHAT: Auspisticism at its xenoromantic finest.
WHERE: A-011
WHEN: On the day of the later "Somebody's back..." threads, before "Technical difficulties".
WARNING(S): Annoying aliens, one an ardent and arsenic-tongued admiral, the other astonishinly articulate, and whatever they're addressing their angst as now.

Comments

[wwrathofangels]

Yes, that was cackling. If she were to enter the room at this very moment, she would find a certain fishtroll rolling on the floor back and forth, clutching his communicator to his chest, and laughing victoriously. Occasionally he lets out a, "YES! YES YES YES! HELL FUCKIN' YES!"

Mostly, though, it's just the cackling.

Up until he hears the knocking.

FUCK. Okay, getting up and quickly neatening himself and running over to the door to open it and, "Kan, if it wweren't the entirely an' wwholly wwrong quadrant I wwould fuckin' kiss you right noww come in you said it wwas wery important right?" Pretend that sentence had some semblance of grammar.

[tendtoenunciate]

Ahahahaha... oh, Eridan. He might see a hint of an eyebrow raise for a moment after he opens the door. Regardless she walks in around him with the handicap of turning in her path so as to catch his every word.

"Oh, I know exactly what you're talking about, I haven't felt this ashen for anyone in my entire life." She reaches out to ardently clasp both his hands. "Eridan, you have no idea how serious the situation was -- it's so much worse than either of us could have thought; it's not just like with the matesprits being referred to as distinguished friends by sex. I finally understand why she's been sending such mixed messages -- I'm almost entirely certain that they don't culturally consecrate black romance at all. It certainly explains why our human children never mentioned it."

[wwrathofangels]

He squeezes her hands, smiling brightly at her words. Well, up until she gets to the part where she says that humans don't have black romance. You can almost hear the swelling music come to an abrupt, scratching halt as his face falls, except this isn't a romantic comedy so there is no musical score. "WWhat."

Slow blink. He might need to hear that again.

[tendtoenunciate]

"That was my reaction. As much as it's like saying their planet doesn't have water--" (an apt simile, water being the fearsome but necessary substance and air being the most natural and sweetest thing in the world) "--all the facts point to it. She says she hates you but then runs away from you and refuses to believe you don't want to kill her again... How much did you ever talk to the humans? All their talk of romance was never qualified with red or flushed or pale, they always said crushes or love or flirting without specifying at all. It's stupefying but seems unavoidable."

[wwrathofangels]

The simile doesn't quite make sense to him, considering he has rather little to fear from the water itself. "An' she did seem kind a confused by the idea I might a wwanted her to hate me an' fight me. Nevver evven mind the concept a gettin' revvenge. She's kind a pitiful isn't she not understandin' any a that an' bein' all broken up ovver that wwhole thin' but it's not like I meant to cull her." He scratches at the base of one of his horns as he considers Kanaya's questions.

"Honestly not much I mean that fake wwitch bleww up my computer an' then the real wwitch didn't evver really wwant much to do wwith me but yeah come to mention it you're right they just alwways wwere glubbin' about unspecified lovve you don't think they might not havve quadrants do you?"

[tendtoenunciate]

"Really she is rather pitiful, she's been through a lot." She glosses over this point; a lot of Andrea's characteristics are strikingly reminiscent of Vriska and Rose and, well, look how investment in them turned out. Alluding to Andrea's exact traumas also isn't in her best interest. "But she certainly didn't recognize the club symbol or your caliginous intetions, so that brings us down to duants already. And at that point division just becomes rather pointless. So there's very litte chance they do."

[wwrathofangels]

"But... but howw does that ewen wwork I mean wwhat do they do if there's someone you hate abowe all others?!" His mind is nothing short of blown here, and it shows. He fidgets with his scarf, resisting the urge to bite it. "It's pretty obwious that ewen they need it goin' by howw she wwas actin' cause wwouldn't you agree a lot a wwhat she wwas sayin' wwas definitely wwaxin' pitch, not platonic?"

[tendtoenunciate]

The more he questions this, the more she begins to give off waves of uncertainty. "Well, they might be capable of having caliginous feelings, but without society putting it forth as an ideal it won't be able to solidify into an official arrangement. Try to imagine..." She's lost for a moment imagining romance without a quadrant. "Imagine we didn't have a pale quadrant, and our romances were only matespritship and kismesissitude with auspisticeship in between. If you felt pale for someone you wouldn't know what to do about it at all, and assume it was either disease or a flushed interest. Regardless of what might have been in our culture, there's no way for it to be achieved."

[wwrathofangels]

"That sounds horrible. Howw do they ewen function like that at all it wwould be impossible. You don't think that's wwhy they hawe places like this cause bein' caliginous isn't a cultural thin' do you?" He's doing his best to analyse this, even if relationships are one of the many places he has a weakness. "No wwonder she wwas all confused an' shit I must of really been confusin' her wwantin' her to hate me."

Admittedly, he'd still rather have her hate him if it will get her to just shut up already about that culling.

"...Does it still count as an auspistice fill if she's from a culture that doesn't do quadrants?"

And his priorities are, as we see, still in their usual order.

[tendtoenunciate]

"There are probably many behaviors considered acceptable in our species that'd be considered grounds to be here. It wouldn't surprise me if they considered bringing Vriska." Awkward pause. Okay, she really doesn't want to linger on that thought.

She gives his shoulder a firm pat to ground him. "Regardless, I'm fairly certain anything where symbols are being invoked still qualifies. She's entered into an arrangement with us; that's the important thing." This is clearly an appropriate priority arrangement. After all, he wouldn't want to have any false hope that he won't have to worry about half his requirement for six sweeps from now, would he?

what is speed

[wwrathofangels]

"That doesn't ewen make sense though draggin' us here just 'cause wwe do thin's that wwould be signs a mental illness in humans considerin' wwe obwiously aren't humans." He'd... rather not linger on the thought of Vriska either, so he won't continue her initial line despite how easily it could lead into a conversational tangent.

"Yeah but I had to explain to her kind a wwhat she wwas gettin' into wwith the symbol an' all I mean she ewen said she didn't get it but wwas just sendin' it because you told her to an'-" Oh this is a fine time for him to suddenly show glimmers of a conscience, now isn't it? "WWell I'm pretty sure she understands noww an' if she doesn't then she shouldn't a agreed right? Right." And there those glimmers go, like so much dust on the wind.

Timing, don't hurt me, don't hurt me, no more

[tendtoenunciate]

"Maybe they still think we should be doing what's considered correct by their human standards. After all... if they'd ever have a chance to change the fate of the entire troll race by changing the minds of a few players, it'd be now." Her shoulders tense; goddamn habitual sarcasm. Why do reminders of home have to be everywhere? Then again, these kinds of things are to be suspected when an alien acquaintance of six hours is still counted dearly as part and parcel with portions of the home universe.

"I was kind of overstepping boundaries by being so forceful. But really imagine what would have happened otherwise. You might have even tried to kiss her. That would have just been pathetic." (Why doesn't she judge that word choice as closely as she should?)

[wwrathofangels]

"I kinda think pathetic wwould a been the last thin' it wwould a been unless you mean platonically pathetic 'cause she wwould a responded wwith platonic hate an' then there wwould a been confusion an' shit." He sighs and grabs the chair, pulling it out so he can flop dramatically, leaning his side against the backrest of it. "Stupid humans makin' ewerythin' so complicated wwith their stupid awoidance a perfectly healthy emotions. Next you'll tell me they do other thin's wwrong like, fuck if I knoww, they don't use pails or some shit like that."

On the plus side, he is currently experiencing a case of repetitive emotional whiplash so severe that he can't latch on to that poor word choice?

[tendtoenunciate]

"Well, considering the unusual innocence with which the whole mess arose, you would obviously be the-- platonically--" She remembers to throw in that key modifier seeing how specific this is becoming-- "pathetic one in that situation, not--"

See her nice collection of shits over here, in a neat little row? Consider every last one of them flipped. "Oh god why would you ever even say that. This session of xenopsychology has officially reached territory too disturbing for even the Alternian alimentary sac to endure."

[wwrathofangels]

What a shame. They were so pretty and organised prior to the flipping. "Because I figured it wwould be the most horrifyin' thin' they could possibly ewer do wwrong, that's wwhy, an' ewen if I hawe no fuckin' clue wwhat an alimentary sac is apparently I wwas right judgin' by that reaction a yours."

[tendtoenunciate]

"I would have appreciated an example more suitable for polite conversation." She rolls her eyes. "Stomach, not that it matters, especially because the reaction's more important than the word in this case." Crossing her arms she tries to move on. "So, I suppose we're going to be in this for the long term, then."