a thought.

[carriehook]

i've managed to cry myself to sleep for the past three nights. and i know that at least one of them was because of you. the others, well, that's all my own emotional baggage, but the fact that even one was because of you makes me a little more angry than anything else. and the bitch of it is, that i'm doing something, and while it's not for you, it's because of you. and you dont even know that or why because before you would let me explain you got all defensive. and i dont know what i did, or didnt do and it doesnt even matter because you're now just... somebody that i used to know and someone,whom at some point in my life, i will look back fondly on and honestly hope that you're doing well... i just wish that time could be now and that i were a big enough person to care. and maybe someday i will be.

i'm sad. i'm lonely. i'm pissed off. but more than anything.... i miss you. and i'm really hating myself for it.