"I watch the stars from my window sill, the whole world is moving, and I'm standing still..."
It's 12:37am and I just cracked myself an ice-cold Bud Light, one of those new-fangled ones in the aluminum bottle, I mean it was on sale!!! But, I just figured out why, it's a "pry-off." What kind of crap is that? All I have to say, is it's a good thing i have a few bottle opener key chains around here! Otherwise, I might have had to use the drawer handle or been SOL.
I took myself to see the movie Knocked Up tonight. It was seriously better than I expected and actually super cute. I only hope if I ever get knocked up, that it turns out half as well...
I almost feel pathetic taking myself to a movie, but at the same time, treating myself to a movie is so relaxing for me. There's no date "pressure" to come up with small-talk, no who's-gonna-pay hassle, and it's just nice. The manager walked in right after me and headed over to this group of high school girls and informed them that "There's no outside food or beverage," and made them take their stuff out to their car. They were super bitchy to her, which frustrated me, but I've NEVER seen that happen. I was kind of impressed actually. Mainly because throughout the entire two-hour movie, these Abercrombie Bitches (yes, that is now their official title to me!) were texting and talking, it was nice that they had to throw away or take their stuff out to their car. A little bit of karma comin' their way!
But on the way home, I just wanted to keep driving. I had nowhere to go, but that's all I wanted to do. It's a simple story really, nowhere to go, and no gas money to get myself there. Maybe that's karma for ya...
I keep looking at my phone, hoping for a message, a missed call, a voicemail, or something telling me that my so-called life is going to get better. I mean, at least Claire Danes had good hair, Jared Leto, and cool lead-in shots. All I have is a 15-pack of Bud Light and the Gilmore Girls on DVD (not that I'm complaining that much!), but I really just have no patience for not knowing. I hate not knowing when my interview is suppose to be. I hate not knowing what I'm going to be doing in a month. I hate not knowing if I need to sign a lease when I go to Chicago next month.
But I hate it even more that I've managed to find myself a perfect place underneath my very own bell jar and I'm sucking out what little bit of air is left in there in hopes that some of it will give me a new sense of life and urgency. But what if it doesn't? :/
________
and i miss you, the things you used to say to me, how we used to talk... and i'm reminded of the last lines of one of my favorite poems... "we used to talk all night// and do things alone together// and i've begun// as a reaction to a feeling)// to balance// the pleasure of loneliness//against the pain// of loving you"
nikki giovanni, you are a genius.
I took myself to see the movie Knocked Up tonight. It was seriously better than I expected and actually super cute. I only hope if I ever get knocked up, that it turns out half as well...
I almost feel pathetic taking myself to a movie, but at the same time, treating myself to a movie is so relaxing for me. There's no date "pressure" to come up with small-talk, no who's-gonna-pay hassle, and it's just nice. The manager walked in right after me and headed over to this group of high school girls and informed them that "There's no outside food or beverage," and made them take their stuff out to their car. They were super bitchy to her, which frustrated me, but I've NEVER seen that happen. I was kind of impressed actually. Mainly because throughout the entire two-hour movie, these Abercrombie Bitches (yes, that is now their official title to me!) were texting and talking, it was nice that they had to throw away or take their stuff out to their car. A little bit of karma comin' their way!
But on the way home, I just wanted to keep driving. I had nowhere to go, but that's all I wanted to do. It's a simple story really, nowhere to go, and no gas money to get myself there. Maybe that's karma for ya...
I keep looking at my phone, hoping for a message, a missed call, a voicemail, or something telling me that my so-called life is going to get better. I mean, at least Claire Danes had good hair, Jared Leto, and cool lead-in shots. All I have is a 15-pack of Bud Light and the Gilmore Girls on DVD (not that I'm complaining that much!), but I really just have no patience for not knowing. I hate not knowing when my interview is suppose to be. I hate not knowing what I'm going to be doing in a month. I hate not knowing if I need to sign a lease when I go to Chicago next month.
But I hate it even more that I've managed to find myself a perfect place underneath my very own bell jar and I'm sucking out what little bit of air is left in there in hopes that some of it will give me a new sense of life and urgency. But what if it doesn't? :/
________
and i miss you, the things you used to say to me, how we used to talk... and i'm reminded of the last lines of one of my favorite poems... "we used to talk all night// and do things alone together// and i've begun// as a reaction to a feeling)// to balance// the pleasure of loneliness//against the pain// of loving you"
nikki giovanni, you are a genius.