Happy Birthday Mike!
so... yesterday i didnt do much of anything of interest. except have lunch at moe's. dont think ive ever enjoyed an ugly naked guy more in my life. the french open is really doing it for me. as is knowing that one of these days i'll channel surf and see at least one person i know on every 3 channels. but i wont be bummed if paris doesnt invite me to her bachelorette party. but i am dying to get a tempurpedic mattress in a gift basket from attending the tony's.
my bigscreen tv is divorcing me tomorrow, as is my couch. but on a lighter note, i might get some action. woooooohumpf. mario and i discussed which is worse:
hooking up with someone and then showing them the door...
OR blabbing on about how much you like them, want to see them again, want to have dinner, and maybe a life together.... and then not ever calling again.
i think #2 is worse. as i have had it happen to me twice in the past 5 years. haha wouldnt that have sucked if i said 2 weeks? damn my life would suck. but since it doesnt, consider this a lesson. Be straight up about what's going on in your drunken genitals! it's kinda a catch 22 situation society has created. girls want to hook up. period. but theyve got to uphold this 'image?' that they dont want to. so guys in turn have to convince them that it's more than hooking up. that there's something ...there.
and there is! it's called a hard on and a wet slit. that's all there is to it. when i pick your drunk ass up at a club, im expecting some action, not a marriage proposal. WHO THE FUCK ACTUALLY TRIES TO "MEET" PEOPLE AT A CLUB FOR MORE THAN HOOKING UP? i know i dont, so when im undressing.. why are you trying to make conversation? because youre a nice guy? because you dont 'do' one night stands? or because that's what you think i wanna hear. that im special... that im wonderful... that your crosseyed drunk self picked me out of a crowd because im intriguing???
Fuck that. I'm there because the testosterone secreted from your sweaty ass self told my brain that your cock... will rock. Don't try to convince me to fall in love... if i was looking for love, i'd be logged in to eHarmony, not shaking my ass at Plush! (on a side note... i registered for eHarmony and they said that with my personality type... i fall into a tiny unmatchable percentage and that they couldnt help me. great self esteem booster...)
Girls, and guys... if you get kicked out on your ass at 6am on a Sunday morning... You deserve it. for not being at your own damn house and kicking the other person out. dont go feel sorry for your self. go to the Mc Donalds drive thru, get a cup of coffee and a fruit and walnut salad. go home. shower. and get your ass to church. then...
REPENT REPENT REPENT! ask god for forgiveness, drink some wine and eat stale crackers. (it'll help with your hangover...) then PRAY...... PRAY HARD! pray that the good lord will heal you of your heartache and bless you with some fucking common sense so next week you dont end up there again feeling guilty because you spent all your tithe money on drinks the night before. Pray that next week youre feeling good sleeping in cause you got yours and kicked some poor soul out at 6 in the morning with a smile and a smack on the ass. Dont worry about hurting their feelings... consider it your special way to 'win souls for jesus'
my bigscreen tv is divorcing me tomorrow, as is my couch. but on a lighter note, i might get some action. woooooohumpf. mario and i discussed which is worse:
hooking up with someone and then showing them the door...
OR blabbing on about how much you like them, want to see them again, want to have dinner, and maybe a life together.... and then not ever calling again.
i think #2 is worse. as i have had it happen to me twice in the past 5 years. haha wouldnt that have sucked if i said 2 weeks? damn my life would suck. but since it doesnt, consider this a lesson. Be straight up about what's going on in your drunken genitals! it's kinda a catch 22 situation society has created. girls want to hook up. period. but theyve got to uphold this 'image?' that they dont want to. so guys in turn have to convince them that it's more than hooking up. that there's something ...there.
and there is! it's called a hard on and a wet slit. that's all there is to it. when i pick your drunk ass up at a club, im expecting some action, not a marriage proposal. WHO THE FUCK ACTUALLY TRIES TO "MEET" PEOPLE AT A CLUB FOR MORE THAN HOOKING UP? i know i dont, so when im undressing.. why are you trying to make conversation? because youre a nice guy? because you dont 'do' one night stands? or because that's what you think i wanna hear. that im special... that im wonderful... that your crosseyed drunk self picked me out of a crowd because im intriguing???
Fuck that. I'm there because the testosterone secreted from your sweaty ass self told my brain that your cock... will rock. Don't try to convince me to fall in love... if i was looking for love, i'd be logged in to eHarmony, not shaking my ass at Plush! (on a side note... i registered for eHarmony and they said that with my personality type... i fall into a tiny unmatchable percentage and that they couldnt help me. great self esteem booster...)
Girls, and guys... if you get kicked out on your ass at 6am on a Sunday morning... You deserve it. for not being at your own damn house and kicking the other person out. dont go feel sorry for your self. go to the Mc Donalds drive thru, get a cup of coffee and a fruit and walnut salad. go home. shower. and get your ass to church. then...
REPENT REPENT REPENT! ask god for forgiveness, drink some wine and eat stale crackers. (it'll help with your hangover...) then PRAY...... PRAY HARD! pray that the good lord will heal you of your heartache and bless you with some fucking common sense so next week you dont end up there again feeling guilty because you spent all your tithe money on drinks the night before. Pray that next week youre feeling good sleeping in cause you got yours and kicked some poor soul out at 6 in the morning with a smile and a smack on the ass. Dont worry about hurting their feelings... consider it your special way to 'win souls for jesus'