(no subject)
am i really really actually updating my livejournal? it looks that way, doesn't it. weird.
i actually think i wrote my last entry here in lake george. its amazing how things change in just a little less than a year. When i wrote my last entry, i was sitting at this same computer, but it was over in another house, located about 100 feet from my current location. at the same time, when i wrote that last entry, i hadn't even been to camp yet..let alone gone through almost all of my sophmore year, met so many amazing people, become closer with some people, less close with others...to tell you the truth i feel like i have changed so much between then and now. plus when i wrote my last entry, the house that i am currently sitting in was hardly even built yet. it just makes you think. so much has changed, and yet i'm still right here. kinda. i'm actually 100 feet away from right here. but you know what i mean.
I've actually missed this thing a lot. i didn't really realize it, but now that i look back, i remember thinking "hey, i wish i could just write stuff somewhere." and you know me. i hardly keep enough notebooks to get through my schoolwork, so where was I gonna write it all?
So now i'm just trying to think of everything i want to say. it's a little overwhelming. Maybe if i make a list it will seem more organized.
1. naturally, the first thing i think of is how stressed out i am. honestly, nothing ever STOPS. i mean, i had the show for a little while. i was stressed out. but i thought, oh, it's ok. once this is over i'll ctach out. but then i had the AP to worry about. Once that was finally over, i had nyssma and my dance shows to worry about. Now that that's over, all my other teahcers are piling on thw work. oh, and i have a health paper. shit. i forgot about that.
2. while i am incredibly stressed out, i still have a feeling that i'm not doing enough. i feel like i'm just not keeping myself busy. I dont even know what that's about. i take 6 dance classes a week, plus voice lessons, plus some tough classes in school that keep me busy with homework. what else can i do? how is it possible to feel like you have too much time, and feel like there's not enough time in the world, all at one time?
3. So, like i said, i'm at lake george right now. it's really boring. 6 hours of driving to get here and back home. i dont get to see friends. i cant turn on the tv without getting death stares from my grandma. i can go online, but for some reason, i can't actually talk to anyone. my parents dont seem to understand that going to lake george kinda totally ruins my weekend.
4. i got my birthday present from my grandparents (on my dads side). i think they got my birthday confused with my brother's.
5. this entry is getting really really long.
6. i still want to keep writing, bitches.
7. stuff is complicated. friends are complicated, school is complicated, family is complicated, guys are so freaking complicated. that bothers me.
8. i actually feel relieved right now. i mean, at least for the time being. i think i might write in this thing more often. if you think about it, its really good. i mean you dont need to go through the trouble of finding a stupid notebook and a pen that works. and it's nice to finally just put all that stuff out there. all the stuff you want to say every day, but you never get around to saying it, becuase either you forget, or you just can't get a word in. plus if people actually do decide to read it, good. maybe people will actually start to get to know you. especailly if youre me.
9. mothers day is tomorrow, and i dont have anything. i think its time to make a genuinly nice, "its the thought that counts" card. the kind you put effort into, so youre parents are happier than if you actually went out and spent money. yes, i know the secret, and im passing it on to you. youre welcome.
alright, i think thats all for now.
all my love
Carrie
i actually think i wrote my last entry here in lake george. its amazing how things change in just a little less than a year. When i wrote my last entry, i was sitting at this same computer, but it was over in another house, located about 100 feet from my current location. at the same time, when i wrote that last entry, i hadn't even been to camp yet..let alone gone through almost all of my sophmore year, met so many amazing people, become closer with some people, less close with others...to tell you the truth i feel like i have changed so much between then and now. plus when i wrote my last entry, the house that i am currently sitting in was hardly even built yet. it just makes you think. so much has changed, and yet i'm still right here. kinda. i'm actually 100 feet away from right here. but you know what i mean.
I've actually missed this thing a lot. i didn't really realize it, but now that i look back, i remember thinking "hey, i wish i could just write stuff somewhere." and you know me. i hardly keep enough notebooks to get through my schoolwork, so where was I gonna write it all?
So now i'm just trying to think of everything i want to say. it's a little overwhelming. Maybe if i make a list it will seem more organized.
1. naturally, the first thing i think of is how stressed out i am. honestly, nothing ever STOPS. i mean, i had the show for a little while. i was stressed out. but i thought, oh, it's ok. once this is over i'll ctach out. but then i had the AP to worry about. Once that was finally over, i had nyssma and my dance shows to worry about. Now that that's over, all my other teahcers are piling on thw work. oh, and i have a health paper. shit. i forgot about that.
2. while i am incredibly stressed out, i still have a feeling that i'm not doing enough. i feel like i'm just not keeping myself busy. I dont even know what that's about. i take 6 dance classes a week, plus voice lessons, plus some tough classes in school that keep me busy with homework. what else can i do? how is it possible to feel like you have too much time, and feel like there's not enough time in the world, all at one time?
3. So, like i said, i'm at lake george right now. it's really boring. 6 hours of driving to get here and back home. i dont get to see friends. i cant turn on the tv without getting death stares from my grandma. i can go online, but for some reason, i can't actually talk to anyone. my parents dont seem to understand that going to lake george kinda totally ruins my weekend.
4. i got my birthday present from my grandparents (on my dads side). i think they got my birthday confused with my brother's.
5. this entry is getting really really long.
6. i still want to keep writing, bitches.
7. stuff is complicated. friends are complicated, school is complicated, family is complicated, guys are so freaking complicated. that bothers me.
8. i actually feel relieved right now. i mean, at least for the time being. i think i might write in this thing more often. if you think about it, its really good. i mean you dont need to go through the trouble of finding a stupid notebook and a pen that works. and it's nice to finally just put all that stuff out there. all the stuff you want to say every day, but you never get around to saying it, becuase either you forget, or you just can't get a word in. plus if people actually do decide to read it, good. maybe people will actually start to get to know you. especailly if youre me.
9. mothers day is tomorrow, and i dont have anything. i think its time to make a genuinly nice, "its the thought that counts" card. the kind you put effort into, so youre parents are happier than if you actually went out and spent money. yes, i know the secret, and im passing it on to you. youre welcome.
alright, i think thats all for now.
all my love
Carrie