Whatever will I do?
(Carrie and the children run through the morning routine, hair combing, breakfast eating, tooth brushing, and she explains the schedule for later in the day.)
Carrie. So when you get home from school, I'll have packed your bag and I'll take you out to Grandma's and Grandpa's house for the weekend.
Ethan. (Frowns) But Dad's gone.
Carrie. (has only had a sip of coffee at this point in the morning) Mmmhm.
Ethan. If dad's gone, then who'll protect you if the zombies attack? I'm in charge of that when he's gone.
Carrie. There's going to be a zombie attack this weekend? And you're in charge of what, exactly?
Ethan. There might be a zombie attack this weekend. And I'm in charge of shooting them. You don't know how to shoot a gun.
Carrie. And you do?
Ethan. I can figure it out. If you're not protected, they'll get you.
Aaron. (Munches on toast) Makes sense.
Carrie. (under breath) None of this makes sense.
Ethan. I'll stay, just in case.
Carrie. No, pumpkin, I'll be fine.
Ethan. (Frowns) Are you sure?
Carrie. (Wishes to God for having drunk more coffee before having this conversation) Yes. Katie and Abbey (the Labrador retrievers) are here. They'll protect me.
Ethan. Katie would, but Abbey will be worthless.
Aaron. (munches on toast) That's true.
****
The sad thing is, I actually thought about it for a minute. Like, CONSIDERED what I might do in the case of a zombie attack. Clearly, I need psychological help and more sleep.
But they were right about Abbey. She's a total love, but if the house were under attack, she'd be huddled up with me, tongue lolling and perfectly unconcerned about any threat. I adore her, but a fierce protector, she ain't.
I'll be announcing the winners of September's contest and October's offering after I emerge from the last weekend of the show! Thank you to all who entered!
Carrie. So when you get home from school, I'll have packed your bag and I'll take you out to Grandma's and Grandpa's house for the weekend.
Ethan. (Frowns) But Dad's gone.
Carrie. (has only had a sip of coffee at this point in the morning) Mmmhm.
Ethan. If dad's gone, then who'll protect you if the zombies attack? I'm in charge of that when he's gone.
Carrie. There's going to be a zombie attack this weekend? And you're in charge of what, exactly?
Ethan. There might be a zombie attack this weekend. And I'm in charge of shooting them. You don't know how to shoot a gun.
Carrie. And you do?
Ethan. I can figure it out. If you're not protected, they'll get you.
Aaron. (Munches on toast) Makes sense.
Carrie. (under breath) None of this makes sense.
Ethan. I'll stay, just in case.
Carrie. No, pumpkin, I'll be fine.
Ethan. (Frowns) Are you sure?
Carrie. (Wishes to God for having drunk more coffee before having this conversation) Yes. Katie and Abbey (the Labrador retrievers) are here. They'll protect me.
Ethan. Katie would, but Abbey will be worthless.
Aaron. (munches on toast) That's true.
****
The sad thing is, I actually thought about it for a minute. Like, CONSIDERED what I might do in the case of a zombie attack. Clearly, I need psychological help and more sleep.
But they were right about Abbey. She's a total love, but if the house were under attack, she'd be huddled up with me, tongue lolling and perfectly unconcerned about any threat. I adore her, but a fierce protector, she ain't.
I'll be announcing the winners of September's contest and October's offering after I emerge from the last weekend of the show! Thank you to all who entered!