Amusing things I've heard: Divided by category.
I have a LOT to blog about. So much STUFF has happened in the last few weeks, but I've not the inclination to put my fingers to the keyboard or upload the billion pictures that go with it. This week. I will.
For now: I'll just give you these.
THE CHILDREN
Ethan. ... and she has a picture of a smurf on her shirt.
Aaron. What's a smurf?
Ethan. You know, those blue things with the hats and white underwear.
Aaron. Oh, right.
************
Ethan. I have a joke, Mom.
Me. Okay, shoot.
Ethan. What happens to a ghost who gets lost in the fog?
Me. I dunno. What?
Ethan. He's MIST. (*makes rim shot sound*)
Me. (giggles)
Aaron. How is that funny?
Me. It's a play on words. Ethan said "mist" like fog, but he meant "missed" Like I missed you.
Aaron. (silence) Ohhhhhhh. (more silence)
Ethan. You still don't get it, do you?
Aaron. Nope.
*******
Aaron. (from the backseat, mutters a word that sounds like 'shit.')
Me. (Head whips around) What did you say?
Aaron. Chis.
Me. What does that mean?
Ethan. It's a gang word, I think like... 'this is the chis.'
Me. Where did you hear that?
Nolan. Just tell us. We're not mad.
Aaron. I was reading the Chili's sign and the L was out.
Nolan. (relieved snort)
Me. Ethan? Where did YOU hear that word?
Ethan. SCRUBS.
Me. Oh. Okay. Carry on, everyone.
**********
THE HUSBAND
(The family is sitting in the audience of STAR WARS: The Concert, when Anthony Daniels, the only actor in all six of the films (he's that gold droid thing), begins emceeing the evening. He wasn't wearing the costume, just a black tuxedo. Nolan grips my arm in the dark and says in a horrified whisper)
Nolan. C-3P0 is gay.
Carrie. Yeah. Sorry.
Nolan *sighs* Thirty years and I never knew.
**********
(our family and two of the kids we went to the concert with were in the elevator riding up to our hotel room last night. A random woman asks)
Woman. Mormon or Catholic? (points at the kids)
Nolan. Neither. We're going to hell. (points at me) She's driving the bus.
Woman. Okay...
Nolan. I'm just kidding. We're recovering Baptist?
Woman. I see.
****************
For the record? She SO did not see.
****************
Gosh. I've laughed SO much this weekend, and now I can't remember half of the stuff that happened! Oh, well. Hope you're all laughing as much as I am.
For now: I'll just give you these.
THE CHILDREN
Ethan. ... and she has a picture of a smurf on her shirt.
Aaron. What's a smurf?
Ethan. You know, those blue things with the hats and white underwear.
Aaron. Oh, right.
************
Ethan. I have a joke, Mom.
Me. Okay, shoot.
Ethan. What happens to a ghost who gets lost in the fog?
Me. I dunno. What?
Ethan. He's MIST. (*makes rim shot sound*)
Me. (giggles)
Aaron. How is that funny?
Me. It's a play on words. Ethan said "mist" like fog, but he meant "missed" Like I missed you.
Aaron. (silence) Ohhhhhhh. (more silence)
Ethan. You still don't get it, do you?
Aaron. Nope.
*******
Aaron. (from the backseat, mutters a word that sounds like 'shit.')
Me. (Head whips around) What did you say?
Aaron. Chis.
Me. What does that mean?
Ethan. It's a gang word, I think like... 'this is the chis.'
Me. Where did you hear that?
Nolan. Just tell us. We're not mad.
Aaron. I was reading the Chili's sign and the L was out.
Nolan. (relieved snort)
Me. Ethan? Where did YOU hear that word?
Ethan. SCRUBS.
Me. Oh. Okay. Carry on, everyone.
**********
THE HUSBAND
(The family is sitting in the audience of STAR WARS: The Concert, when Anthony Daniels, the only actor in all six of the films (he's that gold droid thing), begins emceeing the evening. He wasn't wearing the costume, just a black tuxedo. Nolan grips my arm in the dark and says in a horrified whisper)
Nolan. C-3P0 is gay.
Carrie. Yeah. Sorry.
Nolan *sighs* Thirty years and I never knew.
**********
(our family and two of the kids we went to the concert with were in the elevator riding up to our hotel room last night. A random woman asks)
Woman. Mormon or Catholic? (points at the kids)
Nolan. Neither. We're going to hell. (points at me) She's driving the bus.
Woman. Okay...
Nolan. I'm just kidding. We're recovering Baptist?
Woman. I see.
****************
For the record? She SO did not see.
****************
Gosh. I've laughed SO much this weekend, and now I can't remember half of the stuff that happened! Oh, well. Hope you're all laughing as much as I am.