Chuck Norris: PART TWO
I can't be stopped! Sorry if there are any repeats.
It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
Chuck Norris only masturbates to pictures of Chuck Norris.
If you shaved off Chuck Norris' beard, you would find a tatoo of an identical beard underneath.
Chuck Norris can divide by Zero
There are no disabled people. Only people who have met Chuck Norris.
There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
If you rearrange the letters in Chuck Norris it reveals his credo:
"I End Lives."
Chuck Norris goes to the toilet once a month, if he needs to or not.
Chuck Norris wears a live rattlesnake as a condom.
Chuck Norris burned down an entire forest when he was experimenting with water.
There are in fact 31 letters of the English Alphabet however only Chuck Norris knows what the extra 5 letters are.
Occasionally Chuck Norris will call up the Power Rangers just to say hi.
If you want a list of Chuck Norris' enemies just check the extinct species list.
Chuck Norris went looking for a bar but couldn't find one. He walked to a vacant lot and sat there. Sure enough within an hour an a half someone constructed a bar around him. He then ordered a shot, drank it, and then burned the place to the ground. Chuck Norris yelled over the roar of the flames, 'Always leave things the way you found em!'"
On the 7th day, God rested. Chuck Norris took over.
Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris was dropped at Hiroshima and Nagasaki.
A man once asked Chuck Norris if his real name is "Charles". Chuck Norris did not respond, he simply stared at him until he exploded.
Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.
Chuck Norris can believe it's not butter.
One time while sparring with Wolverine, Chuck Norris accidentally lost his left testicle. You might be familiar with it to this very day by its technical term: Jupiter.
Chuck Norris does not use spell check. If he happens to misspell a word, he simply changes the actual spelling of it.
Chuck Norris took my virginity, and he will sure as hell take yours. If you're thinking to yourself, "That's impossible, I already lost my virginity!", then you are dead wrong.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
Chuck Norris challenged a statue to a staring contest. Chuck remains undefeated.
Bullets dodge Chuck Norris.
In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.
Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a fucking Indian
If you look in a mirror and say "Chuck Norris" three times, he will appear and kill your entire family... but at least you get to see Chuck Norris.
It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
Chuck Norris only masturbates to pictures of Chuck Norris.
If you shaved off Chuck Norris' beard, you would find a tatoo of an identical beard underneath.
Chuck Norris can divide by Zero
There are no disabled people. Only people who have met Chuck Norris.
There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
If you rearrange the letters in Chuck Norris it reveals his credo:
"I End Lives."
Chuck Norris goes to the toilet once a month, if he needs to or not.
Chuck Norris wears a live rattlesnake as a condom.
Chuck Norris burned down an entire forest when he was experimenting with water.
There are in fact 31 letters of the English Alphabet however only Chuck Norris knows what the extra 5 letters are.
Occasionally Chuck Norris will call up the Power Rangers just to say hi.
If you want a list of Chuck Norris' enemies just check the extinct species list.
Chuck Norris went looking for a bar but couldn't find one. He walked to a vacant lot and sat there. Sure enough within an hour an a half someone constructed a bar around him. He then ordered a shot, drank it, and then burned the place to the ground. Chuck Norris yelled over the roar of the flames, 'Always leave things the way you found em!'"
On the 7th day, God rested. Chuck Norris took over.
Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris was dropped at Hiroshima and Nagasaki.
A man once asked Chuck Norris if his real name is "Charles". Chuck Norris did not respond, he simply stared at him until he exploded.
Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.
Chuck Norris can believe it's not butter.
One time while sparring with Wolverine, Chuck Norris accidentally lost his left testicle. You might be familiar with it to this very day by its technical term: Jupiter.
Chuck Norris does not use spell check. If he happens to misspell a word, he simply changes the actual spelling of it.
Chuck Norris took my virginity, and he will sure as hell take yours. If you're thinking to yourself, "That's impossible, I already lost my virginity!", then you are dead wrong.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
Chuck Norris challenged a statue to a staring contest. Chuck remains undefeated.
Bullets dodge Chuck Norris.
In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.
Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a fucking Indian
If you look in a mirror and say "Chuck Norris" three times, he will appear and kill your entire family... but at least you get to see Chuck Norris.