wow...i'm sucky.
I could have sworn that i've updated sooner than mar. Wow. That's... weird. Um... so how is everybody? Do you feel as useless and I do. I mean, I had my woot! woot! no school fun, and now I feel useless.
I guess a part of that has to do with the fact I'm ditching home right now. It basically come down to I can not live with my family. I love them deeply. i love my mother more than most could ever know. And that is the problem. I would have moved out in October when all of this shit started if it hadn't been for my mom wanting me to stay with her. To be the family she lost years ago... but I can't do it anymore. Granted, it's no secret that Dan wants me out, but that has been no secret. Now that he's drinking again, it really isn't a secret. But I don't think that I can even really keep a relationship with her as long as that abusive using bastard is in her life. But she likes it, she's an addict for being the victim. I can't watch anymore.
I may have no choice, for the time being until I get another job, to stay with my dad, but I really don't want to live with family anymore.
I just don't know anybody who needs a roommate that isn't already in a lease or has other arrangements. I don't condone anything that is going on with any of my family members. But I really don't want to live alone. It's creepie. And I really want to know who I'm moving in with, so that whole renting a room thing won't work for me.
I hope to get this all sorted before the end of the summer.
I know it will turn out okay. I just hope it is sooner rather than later. I'm really getting sick and tired of spinning my wheels and seeing no progress in the places I'd like to see it in.
I guess a part of that has to do with the fact I'm ditching home right now. It basically come down to I can not live with my family. I love them deeply. i love my mother more than most could ever know. And that is the problem. I would have moved out in October when all of this shit started if it hadn't been for my mom wanting me to stay with her. To be the family she lost years ago... but I can't do it anymore. Granted, it's no secret that Dan wants me out, but that has been no secret. Now that he's drinking again, it really isn't a secret. But I don't think that I can even really keep a relationship with her as long as that abusive using bastard is in her life. But she likes it, she's an addict for being the victim. I can't watch anymore.
I may have no choice, for the time being until I get another job, to stay with my dad, but I really don't want to live with family anymore.
I just don't know anybody who needs a roommate that isn't already in a lease or has other arrangements. I don't condone anything that is going on with any of my family members. But I really don't want to live alone. It's creepie. And I really want to know who I'm moving in with, so that whole renting a room thing won't work for me.
I hope to get this all sorted before the end of the summer.
I know it will turn out okay. I just hope it is sooner rather than later. I'm really getting sick and tired of spinning my wheels and seeing no progress in the places I'd like to see it in.