(no subject)
At first I was just a passerby. But as teh dream wore on I became a lot more. First accidentally wandering onto the set, ducking out of the way of the film people. Then I started to make decisions, rising up and up, discussing with other people the importance and symbolism of the role until I actually took on that lead role. Most poignant was when we were filming a scene at night; the other actors and I were all children. We climbed up these large beds and tried to protect ourselves. I knew something was happening with a child downstairs. I was torn between helping her and staying where I was, in the role. I turned to the boy next to me and tried to say something, but everything was in a fog. The scene was over, filming was over, but I couldn't get out. I had gone deaf and mute, or everyone else had, because I was just screaming into the fog. The boy lying next to me was asleep and I kept shaking him, begging him to wake up. I could feel my awake self whispering "I'm deaf, I'm deaf!" Finally I tore myself awake. I still remember the awareness that violence was happening everywhere and was a real threat- that I was at the top of the bunks, but underneath there were awful things happening, sometimes to people I knew. The scenery was like Brazil. There were large iron and concrete constructions, with everything haphazardly placed. Dirty. Nighttime. Dark, lit only by flickering green tinted florescent lights. Although I ran up the bed, both running to get away and hurtling towards something better, there wasn't anything, just terror that everything was going to go black soon, and no one would be awake to help me through.