(no subject)

[carpediem9786]

I miss home. This doesn't make any sense to me. I was so excited about coming here and going to school and doing well and making new friends and this just isn't for me. I want to be at home with my family. This is all well and good and I'm sure I couldn't ask for a better set up and everything, but at the end of the day I just want to go home. Knowing that I can be home. And this knowing that I can't go home is hell I can't do this at all. I know people probably think that I am giving up and being a wimp but I just think that some people can do this and adapt well and at least see a bright side and others don't. I don't. I don't like this. I don't see this getting better. I bet I'll make friends and get along well with people and enjoy my classes but without the people that I love and care about around me, what is it really worth? I guess that's just something that matters to me more than I thought. I don't want to feel like a failure or that I am giving up on things because that's not who I am, I am not one to just let important things go. I know that I will probably make life long friends here and all that it's just that I can't handle it. And if I come home I am worried that my life is just going to stop. I am going to know all the same people for the rest of my life and I am never going to move forward in that sense.

I'm down and out. Don't be surprised if I'm home today.