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[messiah_me]

Everyone but Wesley left the room. I was actually glad that we were alone. "Wesley." I started as I looked to him. "I know you want me to rest, but I honestly am tapped out on rest, I think I would much rather go for a walk, or I don't know have a drink." I could tell that Wesley didn't want this, that he wanted me to lay down, play the sickly

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[messiah_me]

I look down again, taking in his words for a moment. "Thank you Wes, but I don't think Angel feels the same." I whispered. Honestly I wondered sometimes if Angel even wanted me around anymore, he spends all his time taking care of witchy Willow, does he really need the group anymore, much less me?

As I look back, maybe this is why I have been so hard on Willow, I didn't want to admit that I was jealous of her. I mean we had a good thing going with our group again. Angel wasn't going off the deep end anymore because he had Connor to take care of, Gunn was hitting things as usual, we had a crazy taco lady in the hotel that Gunn was obsessed with, A green guy who sings and drinks too much, and Wesley was back to what he does best which was burying his nose in boring books..I think it was a great group, then Willow shows up then Angel's stupid sister...I mean why can't things be the way they used to be?

Ok so I am jealous...sue me...I just believe I should be the most important thing to everyone...ok so I don't really believe that anymore, in high school yes, but not now. I just wish Angel would notice someone else other than a sister that he didn't mean to turn and a witch who has a habit of losing control.

I notice that my thoughts have taken over and Wesley was giving me a look from the drivers side. "Oh sorry, just thinking...."

[_wes_pryce_]

What the hell is this? Confused I glance at her when she says Angel doesn’t seem to think the same. Why would he not? Is this *still* about Willow? Good lord, she’s jealous isn’t she? I’ve seen the look in those eyes before. I’m her boyfriend, how is it supposed to make me feel to realize that she’s jealous of Willow because she’s with Angel.

Tensing my jaw, I turn to stare out the window again, trying not to think about this to hard. I’m not good enough? She needs to have Angel’s all time love and devotion too? And what about Gunn? Is she jealous of Fred as well then? I mean, she was once the only girl with her three men. But they’ve all moved on now and she only had me left. Is that not enough?

“Yes,” I murmur, turning and driving up the street toward the apartment. “It certainly seemed that way.” I give up. No matter what I say, she has to give it her own turn. She has to make it all about her. Of course this is Cordelia we’re talking about. But still, you’d think I was giving her enough. Personally, I’ve not noticed Angel treating her any different. Or am I supposed to feel jealous of Willow as well now, considering Angel and I hardly play our chess game these days because he spends time with Willow. Or Fred, am I supposed to be jealous of Fred as well? Because Charles chooses to spend more time with her then he does these days with me?

Women. I’ll never understand them.

“We’re here,” I announce with a sigh, parking the car in front of the place. I’m getting this headache all over again. What a rotten day. I just want to go to bed, and wake up to find all these problems and insecurities gone. Far, far away.

[messiah_me]

I could sense he wasn't happy..great now I have made him mad again. You know I should just not talk anymore..but then again that might irritate people, or possibly cause them to rejoice.

"I'm sorry Wesley" I whisper, which is odd, I don't usually whisper, its just this time it seemed fitting. I slowly climbed out of the car as I waited for him to say something...anything.