(open) weight on me weighs more than me
Melou hasn't been very available recently. The only reason he's had to spend any time in public was that he was looking for Hisoka, and it's been a while since he finally accepted that his friend is gone. He's spent most of the past few weeks either shut up in his room or out in the woods, deliberately avoiding the paths. It meant he ended up filthy and covered in twigs, but he didn't have to talk to anyone, so it was worth it.
But today, he's reemerged.
It's not because he's feeling better. He still hasn't been eating or sleeping nearly as much as he should. He doesn't feel better, just different. It's like he doesn't even have enough energy left in him to feel tired, like he's somehow being sustained by his own exhaustion. It feels as though he could go on like this forever, running on nothing but anger and weariness.
He's not sure what to do, or think. He feels betrayed and angry, but there's something uncomfortable about the emotion, like it's not the right one and it doesn't fit. He's never been angry at Hisoka before, not really. He would pretend to be, to keep his dignity, but he could never make himself hate him like he hated everybody else. He couldn't keep himself from trusting the other young man, so he did the next best thing, and hid it, though he knew Hisoka could tell. There was a security in their friendship that Melou hadn't felt in a long time. He mostly trusted, with only brief periods of nagging anxiety, that Hisoka was not somebody who was going to die or leave him. And he still did. After this and everything else, Melou feels like it would be safer never to trust anyone again.
He's not sure how to feel, and after a while he gives up trying to work it out and just lets himself be angry at everyone. It's easier.
So, have a really, really angsty Melou. Feel free to run into him anywhere that's convenient for your character. At this point he's so angry and depressed that he's going to go back to being a violent bully. (For those who remember how terrible he was when he first arrived at the Mansion two and a half years ago: he's going to be EVEN WORSE). He's most likely to be violent towards other young men, since they bring out his macho, but if you'd prefer no violence at all to happen in your thread, just say so, and he can just sulk instead.
Also, fighting isn't the only way he's looking to blow off steam, so he might awkwardly hit on people XD
But today, he's reemerged.
It's not because he's feeling better. He still hasn't been eating or sleeping nearly as much as he should. He doesn't feel better, just different. It's like he doesn't even have enough energy left in him to feel tired, like he's somehow being sustained by his own exhaustion. It feels as though he could go on like this forever, running on nothing but anger and weariness.
He's not sure what to do, or think. He feels betrayed and angry, but there's something uncomfortable about the emotion, like it's not the right one and it doesn't fit. He's never been angry at Hisoka before, not really. He would pretend to be, to keep his dignity, but he could never make himself hate him like he hated everybody else. He couldn't keep himself from trusting the other young man, so he did the next best thing, and hid it, though he knew Hisoka could tell. There was a security in their friendship that Melou hadn't felt in a long time. He mostly trusted, with only brief periods of nagging anxiety, that Hisoka was not somebody who was going to die or leave him. And he still did. After this and everything else, Melou feels like it would be safer never to trust anyone again.
He's not sure how to feel, and after a while he gives up trying to work it out and just lets himself be angry at everyone. It's easier.
So, have a really, really angsty Melou. Feel free to run into him anywhere that's convenient for your character. At this point he's so angry and depressed that he's going to go back to being a violent bully. (For those who remember how terrible he was when he first arrived at the Mansion two and a half years ago: he's going to be EVEN WORSE). He's most likely to be violent towards other young men, since they bring out his macho, but if you'd prefer no violence at all to happen in your thread, just say so, and he can just sulk instead.
Also, fighting isn't the only way he's looking to blow off steam, so he might awkwardly hit on people XD