10 Things About Me
I'm having to confront a lot of unsavory things,about me. Things that i don't like about myself, reasons that I'm not the person I want to be. Facing these things is uncomfortable, but it sets me on the right path.
I am afraid of some things, and I give these things power over me. I'm afraid of being myself with certain people. Even though I'd like more genuine relationships, I don't feel safe being genuine enough to make this possible.
I've been hardcore living in the past, while at the same time embracing the novelty of the present. I've been trying on different Me's, and i'm finding they are all me. I don't have to choose which one is the true me, i do have to choose to put my best foot forward no matter what.
This started off as just a journal, and it's conforming to a meme I'm following from rotting_angel . I'm like that. I find writing lists cathartic, and a good prompt never hurts. So now this is ten things about me, because it feels finite and comfortable, and sometimes i have a real need for finite and comfortable
5. i'm full of optimism for the future. The far off future, the nearer future...i can't shake that there are so many good things coming up. too many good things have already happened to keep me too bleak
6. i'm quick to pathologize myself because sometimes the world is too fucked up for me to deal with. so i turn myself into the problem, because i'm right here and if i focus on "fixing" me at least i know i'm working with something that will get better. this hasn't always been the case, at least not exclusively, and it will do me good to look outside of myself and participate in the larger world again.
7. i am perpetually bored. or, at least i get bored easily. i'm constantly seeking things that will provide excitement, novelty, something to occupy and challenge me. lately, it's been me. i'm looking forward to being challenged outside myself.
8. i have an awful "sensitivity" to peanuts. it doesn't seem fair to me to call it an allergy when others close to me have such severe allergic reactions compared to mine. but i fucking love peanut butter. peanut butter and honey, peanut butter sandwiches, peanut butter by the spoonfuls. Mmm mmm do i love rash-inducing peanut butter.
9. every once in a while my sex drive overwhelms me.
10. even when i find 100 books at the library that interest me, i can't help but lament the dozen that aren't available.
I am afraid of some things, and I give these things power over me. I'm afraid of being myself with certain people. Even though I'd like more genuine relationships, I don't feel safe being genuine enough to make this possible.
I've been hardcore living in the past, while at the same time embracing the novelty of the present. I've been trying on different Me's, and i'm finding they are all me. I don't have to choose which one is the true me, i do have to choose to put my best foot forward no matter what.
This started off as just a journal, and it's conforming to a meme I'm following from rotting_angel . I'm like that. I find writing lists cathartic, and a good prompt never hurts. So now this is ten things about me, because it feels finite and comfortable, and sometimes i have a real need for finite and comfortable
5. i'm full of optimism for the future. The far off future, the nearer future...i can't shake that there are so many good things coming up. too many good things have already happened to keep me too bleak
6. i'm quick to pathologize myself because sometimes the world is too fucked up for me to deal with. so i turn myself into the problem, because i'm right here and if i focus on "fixing" me at least i know i'm working with something that will get better. this hasn't always been the case, at least not exclusively, and it will do me good to look outside of myself and participate in the larger world again.
7. i am perpetually bored. or, at least i get bored easily. i'm constantly seeking things that will provide excitement, novelty, something to occupy and challenge me. lately, it's been me. i'm looking forward to being challenged outside myself.
8. i have an awful "sensitivity" to peanuts. it doesn't seem fair to me to call it an allergy when others close to me have such severe allergic reactions compared to mine. but i fucking love peanut butter. peanut butter and honey, peanut butter sandwiches, peanut butter by the spoonfuls. Mmm mmm do i love rash-inducing peanut butter.
9. every once in a while my sex drive overwhelms me.
10. even when i find 100 books at the library that interest me, i can't help but lament the dozen that aren't available.