Middle of the night
So stay with me here folks, I am writing this in the middle of the night without my contacts in. For those of you who know me, you know that this could get very ugly...lol. So the closer this damn thing gets the more that I do not sleep. I guess that is normal. I know I need to have this done to ever have a chance of being some what back to normal again but the entire process still scares the hell out of me. Hopefully only good will come of all of it. I have witnessed that in most of my major life changes that only good will eventually come out of it. Jaime and I are already headed down a path together towards better health. I have been doing a pretty good job for over the last year. I have maintained a weight between 135 and 145 for the last year or so. This surgery is only solidifying the need to eat healthy, stay healthy, and to maintain an overall healthy spiritual life within all of it. This new path will be great for both of us. It is unfortunate that something this serious had to happen to get us into gear but that seems to be how it is for me.
I will exist in the shittiest of situations until I am forced to make the major change. Looking back on many things in my life, I think that it is amazing what the human spirit can withstand. How much someone will take before admitting that there needs to be a change or that they deserve better. My body deserves to be treated better just like my spirit and emotions of five years ago. I look at where I am now and I am amazed. So hopefully this will ring true with my body. I am not ever going back into construction or any hard physical labor. I am going to go down the road that was meant for me and I am going to thrive.
Trying the positive energy thing...lol.
I will exist in the shittiest of situations until I am forced to make the major change. Looking back on many things in my life, I think that it is amazing what the human spirit can withstand. How much someone will take before admitting that there needs to be a change or that they deserve better. My body deserves to be treated better just like my spirit and emotions of five years ago. I look at where I am now and I am amazed. So hopefully this will ring true with my body. I am not ever going back into construction or any hard physical labor. I am going to go down the road that was meant for me and I am going to thrive.
Trying the positive energy thing...lol.