Authentically magical
David and I were discussing something the other day, and the topic of how we met came up. Specifically, how we tell the story of how we met. As I've shared many times, David and I met at a mutual friend's New Year's Eve party. One aspect of this I love to share is that we were the Token Straight People (so of COURSE we should be matched up!). The second aspect is that David had a girlfriend at the time. The first aspect of the story gets awkward laughs (the level of awkwardness depends on whom I'm telling - "Am I allowed to laugh at this?" I imagine them thinking), and the second aspect seems to produce a more interesting reaction.
"People always seem to get a look in their face when you tell people that part of the story. Weirded out - uncomfortable, even."
"I know," I explained. "But I think it's an important point to tell. I feel like if I don't include the rough parts, the shiny parts of our life seem inauthentic. And I think that the shiny parts, and our relationship, is so amazing, in part due to these not-so-pretty parts. Our whole history is what makes us so incredible."
And it's true. I hate just sharing the pretty version of events, because it makes me feel like I'm lying my face off. And it makes me think that, maybe, someone hears it and thinks less of their life, because their relationship wasn't fairy-tale-like, or that this didn't come as easily to them, or that was the hardest thing they have ever done. And I think that's crap. We all have our trials, but we all have beautiful experiences, too.
And, today, I realized that my poor, dear old livejournal had been receiving the opposite treatment. I've looked at my past few (and far-between) entries, and realized that I've only really been writing when I've been struggling with anxiety or depression. Unfortunately, that skews the amazing things that have happened in my life. I still am dealing with some extreme stressors in my life (same old, same old), but I've also had shiny, magical moments, too.
Like how every morning when I open my bedroom door, Frida wiggles her whole body in quiet excitement, and for some reason this includes bending her body almost in half, making a fluffy white C while she circles to me.
Like how I recently got discounted Universal Studios tickets (working for/with a university does have it's perks!), and David and I spent our Monday there on a spectacular date. We slowly made our way throughout the park, taking in rides and eating overpriced food. The best part is that we felt no pressure to get everything out of the amusement park possible, as the tickets became annual passes as soon as we used them. Kandarpa and her fiance did the same thing recently, and we plan on going as a group at some point.
Like how Kandarpa is getting married in two and a half months, and I was with her during her dress fitting, and she looked so goddamn BEAUTIFUL that I would have cried had I not been so concerned with making sure I got the perfect photo of her.
Like how in so many ways I'm reminded how perfect David is for me, but most recently was while we were at Universal. While we were going through the House of Horrors - which I only went through for David's sake, since I hate being scared, ever - I told David he wasn't allowed to let go of me, and he agreed. I'm the youngest of three siblings, and have been routinely tortured and teased my entire life, as apparently it is really fun to set me off. Never once while we were going through the walk-through, while I gripped David's bicep and actors were jumping out at us to make us shriek, was I ever concerned that David would try to scare me as a joke. And he didn't, because he is perfect for me.
Like how I was asked to switch shifts with a coworker to cover her wedding-related event, and she offered to work for me on March 2nd, which just happens to be Blythe's birthday, freeing me to potentially celebrate with her on her birthday for the first time in YEARS (if she doesn't go to Canada to make out with her girlfriend on that day, that is).
Like how my cat Pele whom I've had for almost five years adjusted so incredibly easily to the addition of Frida that on occasion I suspect they are conspiring together. I am so, so satisfied with my foursome of a family, with my handsome, clever, sweet husband and my two furry white mini-beasts. My life, internal shadows and external stressors and all, outshines anything I could have ever possibly imagined that first night that I wanted to kiss a man at midnight (but couldn't); so I settled for a long kiss on the cheek.
I never settled for anything again.
"People always seem to get a look in their face when you tell people that part of the story. Weirded out - uncomfortable, even."
"I know," I explained. "But I think it's an important point to tell. I feel like if I don't include the rough parts, the shiny parts of our life seem inauthentic. And I think that the shiny parts, and our relationship, is so amazing, in part due to these not-so-pretty parts. Our whole history is what makes us so incredible."
And it's true. I hate just sharing the pretty version of events, because it makes me feel like I'm lying my face off. And it makes me think that, maybe, someone hears it and thinks less of their life, because their relationship wasn't fairy-tale-like, or that this didn't come as easily to them, or that was the hardest thing they have ever done. And I think that's crap. We all have our trials, but we all have beautiful experiences, too.
And, today, I realized that my poor, dear old livejournal had been receiving the opposite treatment. I've looked at my past few (and far-between) entries, and realized that I've only really been writing when I've been struggling with anxiety or depression. Unfortunately, that skews the amazing things that have happened in my life. I still am dealing with some extreme stressors in my life (same old, same old), but I've also had shiny, magical moments, too.
Like how every morning when I open my bedroom door, Frida wiggles her whole body in quiet excitement, and for some reason this includes bending her body almost in half, making a fluffy white C while she circles to me.
Like how I recently got discounted Universal Studios tickets (working for/with a university does have it's perks!), and David and I spent our Monday there on a spectacular date. We slowly made our way throughout the park, taking in rides and eating overpriced food. The best part is that we felt no pressure to get everything out of the amusement park possible, as the tickets became annual passes as soon as we used them. Kandarpa and her fiance did the same thing recently, and we plan on going as a group at some point.
Like how Kandarpa is getting married in two and a half months, and I was with her during her dress fitting, and she looked so goddamn BEAUTIFUL that I would have cried had I not been so concerned with making sure I got the perfect photo of her.
Like how in so many ways I'm reminded how perfect David is for me, but most recently was while we were at Universal. While we were going through the House of Horrors - which I only went through for David's sake, since I hate being scared, ever - I told David he wasn't allowed to let go of me, and he agreed. I'm the youngest of three siblings, and have been routinely tortured and teased my entire life, as apparently it is really fun to set me off. Never once while we were going through the walk-through, while I gripped David's bicep and actors were jumping out at us to make us shriek, was I ever concerned that David would try to scare me as a joke. And he didn't, because he is perfect for me.
Like how I was asked to switch shifts with a coworker to cover her wedding-related event, and she offered to work for me on March 2nd, which just happens to be Blythe's birthday, freeing me to potentially celebrate with her on her birthday for the first time in YEARS (if she doesn't go to Canada to make out with her girlfriend on that day, that is).
Like how my cat Pele whom I've had for almost five years adjusted so incredibly easily to the addition of Frida that on occasion I suspect they are conspiring together. I am so, so satisfied with my foursome of a family, with my handsome, clever, sweet husband and my two furry white mini-beasts. My life, internal shadows and external stressors and all, outshines anything I could have ever possibly imagined that first night that I wanted to kiss a man at midnight (but couldn't); so I settled for a long kiss on the cheek.
I never settled for anything again.