Cycles

[caropal]

Back in Chicago, there was one night in the midst of a really bad anxiety spell, a really bad depressive spell, and I couldn't sleep. I was so anxious that my mind would not stop; it just kept whirring and whirring and whirring, and it was three in the morning, and I hadn't slept, and I was anxious because I couldn't sleep. But it wasn't just that

Comments

[meru_neechan]

Too bad it doesn't sound cyclical *enough* to be linked to your period. I noticed that was what was happening to me where I was just inexorably morose and melancholy about life in general for one day, every month. I soon realized that while it was hormonal, I couldn't do anything except be patient and wait it out. Being aware of it helped to understand why I was feeling that way and eased the waiting, but it did me no good to dive into the random topic that my brain decided to be sad about.

In any case, one of the things that Aaron and I learned last year was about using mindfulness to find acceptance and patience, in situations where things were happening to us negatively that were outside of our control. Since so much of our lives in recent years have been subject to other people's/organization's whims, we've had to use this practice a lot. It's actually something that I'm trying to use right now due to some work-related crises, but I won't dare say that I'm perfect at its application. It takes time, and I certainly don't expect it to help me feel happy-glowy about what's happened, but that's okay.

Related, the things I remember the most about your wedding was: how absolutely clever it was to use bunting to *upgrade* your second dress, how happy your family looked the entire time, and how hilarious (in such a very British way) David's mum was when she talked to me about him growing up.