Networking
The following is a conversation I had with a co-worker today, recounted exactly as it occurred:
Chris: Hey
Currr: Hello
Chris: I don't think I've met you yet, what's your name?
Currr: Carolyn
Chris: I'm Chris
Currr: I shall call you Alex
Chris: Why?
Currr: You bear a striking resemblance to a former schoolmate of mine, I knew him as Alex.
Chris: So?
Currr: When I see you, the murky waters of my mind clear into a vision of the name Alex. It would be far easier for me to verbalize what I see than to train myself to ignore the instinct and hunt through the riffraff to find a new title for you.
Chris: I wont respond to Alex.
Currr: What about Alexander?
Chris: No.
Currr: Lexi?
Chris: No
Currr: Sexy Lexi?
Chris: No
Currr: But I included a compliment that time.
Chris: But my name isn't Alex.
Currr: Do you always make everything about you?
Chris: I'm not making this about me, it's just offensive to be called by another name.
Currr: What about Prince William?
Chris: What?
Currr: What if someone mistook you for Prince William and called you by his name? He's quite dashing, would you be offended if someone thought you were dashing?
Chris: No one's ever going to confuse me with Prince William.
Currr: That's a haughty assumption. If someone had asked you last week if you would ever be confused for a boy named Alex, would you have spat on that idea as well?
Chris: Are you honestly trying to convince me that I should allow you to call by a name that is not my own and holds no meaning for me?
Currr: Absolutely not, where did you get such a preposterous idea?
Chris: Then what the hell are you trying to do?
Currr: I'm trying to bring back the pants.
Chris: Bring back the pants? How is that even relevant?
Currr: How is it not?
Chris: The word pants has not been said once this entire time.
Currr: Did it need to be? Is that how you define a conversation, merely by the words that are spoken? You don't really think big, do you? Not much of a Doug Funnie? You could learn from him, I think he holds tutorials at the Honker Burger.
Chris: What the fuck are you talking about?
Currr: I am talking about a beloved voyageur on my quest for knowledge who you refuse to honor by bearing his name.
Chris: Fine, you can call me Alex.
Currr: Wouldn't that be a little weird, though, since it's not actually your name?
Chris: You fucking freak (storms off)
Currr: Oh come on, Lexi!
Chris: Hey
Currr: Hello
Chris: I don't think I've met you yet, what's your name?
Currr: Carolyn
Chris: I'm Chris
Currr: I shall call you Alex
Chris: Why?
Currr: You bear a striking resemblance to a former schoolmate of mine, I knew him as Alex.
Chris: So?
Currr: When I see you, the murky waters of my mind clear into a vision of the name Alex. It would be far easier for me to verbalize what I see than to train myself to ignore the instinct and hunt through the riffraff to find a new title for you.
Chris: I wont respond to Alex.
Currr: What about Alexander?
Chris: No.
Currr: Lexi?
Chris: No
Currr: Sexy Lexi?
Chris: No
Currr: But I included a compliment that time.
Chris: But my name isn't Alex.
Currr: Do you always make everything about you?
Chris: I'm not making this about me, it's just offensive to be called by another name.
Currr: What about Prince William?
Chris: What?
Currr: What if someone mistook you for Prince William and called you by his name? He's quite dashing, would you be offended if someone thought you were dashing?
Chris: No one's ever going to confuse me with Prince William.
Currr: That's a haughty assumption. If someone had asked you last week if you would ever be confused for a boy named Alex, would you have spat on that idea as well?
Chris: Are you honestly trying to convince me that I should allow you to call by a name that is not my own and holds no meaning for me?
Currr: Absolutely not, where did you get such a preposterous idea?
Chris: Then what the hell are you trying to do?
Currr: I'm trying to bring back the pants.
Chris: Bring back the pants? How is that even relevant?
Currr: How is it not?
Chris: The word pants has not been said once this entire time.
Currr: Did it need to be? Is that how you define a conversation, merely by the words that are spoken? You don't really think big, do you? Not much of a Doug Funnie? You could learn from him, I think he holds tutorials at the Honker Burger.
Chris: What the fuck are you talking about?
Currr: I am talking about a beloved voyageur on my quest for knowledge who you refuse to honor by bearing his name.
Chris: Fine, you can call me Alex.
Currr: Wouldn't that be a little weird, though, since it's not actually your name?
Chris: You fucking freak (storms off)
Currr: Oh come on, Lexi!