karma's a bitch: rick warren, part 2
So apparently the great marketing expert in the sky officially considers me clergy. I say this because I received something interesting in the mail today: the first issue of Rick Warren's new magazine.
How did he know I'm going to be a pastor, especially if he can't get my last name right? This is hilarious. I opened up the magazine and found in the middle a whole marketing section on what will be Warren's new book/ craze/ marketing scheme. That's no surprise. But it was addressed to pastors, and it contained a 6-week bible study... with fill-in-the-blanks! WHAT?!?!?! First he wants to suck my brains so I will believe his drivel he calls Christian devotional literature (HA), and now he actually wants to put words in my mouth. Unbelievable. So... since he gave it to me, even though it's copyrighted, if I teach this bible study that's somehow not plagiarism???? Integrity, peoples, it's a little bit important if you want to be a pastor (case in point: Ted Haggard. Just come out already, dude, everyone knows you're gay but you).
Other than that aforementioned abomination, the rest of his 150-ish page magazine is an absolute playground for anyone who thinks critically enough not to buy into his commercialized version of Christianity. I don't want to rant again, so I'll just provide a few bulleted points of the worst of the worst and why it makes me nauseous.
* Article: "Chasing the Holy Spirit"
Beef: BAD. Theology. You can't chase the Holy Spirit... and if you think you can, you don't even know who She is. I will concede that the author speaks against ghettoizing Christian communities... but any possible bonus points are lost in the following phrase which characterizes the rest of the world as a "hellhole." E for Effort may not be an F, but it's still worse than a D.
* Articles: "How to Get Together With God;" "12 Ways to Study God's Word"
Beef: These "articles" are regurgitation of one of Warren's books. In fact, it's hard to find any article at all that doesn't mention Warren. If this isn't a cult of personality, I don't know what is. 1) Spiritual formation epic FAIL. 2) Real pastors don't hawk their mass-marketed shit in magazines.
* Article: "Why Would God Do That?"
Beef: The daughter of Billy Graham attempts in only 2 short pages to tackle the theological topic of human suffering. Here's her gist: "I don't know why God lets bad things happen to good people. But when we ask "why?" God answers us by pointing to Jesus' saving work on the cross. You should just trust God." PASTORAL CARE: YOU'RE DOIN' IT WRONG. All I can say is, OMFG. Pastorally and theologically there are so many things wrong with this on so many levels. Lessons learned? If Christian theologians over the centuries can't answer that question in their many volumes written in response to genocide and torture, you probably can't explain it in two magazine pages. And whatever you tell people who are suffering, don't tell them what mini-Graham just said. Also, for the record, sometimes God is just silent. In the face of human atrocity, at times there is nothing to say because words are inadequate. God communicates in other ways instead.
In closing, I'm at a loss... I never want to receive this magazine again, and anyone who thinks this passes for a legit Christian publication is deceived. Although I will admit that it's not all bad: despite Warren's attempts to corner Obama on gay marriage and abortion in his "interview," he does state that sexism is wrong. That's a step in the right direction for Evanglicals, but damn, I am sick of baby steps. I do not have the patience for these folks yet.
P.S. Rick Warren, what the fuck are you doing sending this stuff all over the country? Who do you think you're pastoring anyway? A "Christian nation"? The President? FYI, the bigger your head gets, the more street cred you lose... and theological credibility for that matter.
How did he know I'm going to be a pastor, especially if he can't get my last name right? This is hilarious. I opened up the magazine and found in the middle a whole marketing section on what will be Warren's new book/ craze/ marketing scheme. That's no surprise. But it was addressed to pastors, and it contained a 6-week bible study... with fill-in-the-blanks! WHAT?!?!?! First he wants to suck my brains so I will believe his drivel he calls Christian devotional literature (HA), and now he actually wants to put words in my mouth. Unbelievable. So... since he gave it to me, even though it's copyrighted, if I teach this bible study that's somehow not plagiarism???? Integrity, peoples, it's a little bit important if you want to be a pastor (case in point: Ted Haggard. Just come out already, dude, everyone knows you're gay but you).
Other than that aforementioned abomination, the rest of his 150-ish page magazine is an absolute playground for anyone who thinks critically enough not to buy into his commercialized version of Christianity. I don't want to rant again, so I'll just provide a few bulleted points of the worst of the worst and why it makes me nauseous.
* Article: "Chasing the Holy Spirit"
Beef: BAD. Theology. You can't chase the Holy Spirit... and if you think you can, you don't even know who She is. I will concede that the author speaks against ghettoizing Christian communities... but any possible bonus points are lost in the following phrase which characterizes the rest of the world as a "hellhole." E for Effort may not be an F, but it's still worse than a D.
* Articles: "How to Get Together With God;" "12 Ways to Study God's Word"
Beef: These "articles" are regurgitation of one of Warren's books. In fact, it's hard to find any article at all that doesn't mention Warren. If this isn't a cult of personality, I don't know what is. 1) Spiritual formation epic FAIL. 2) Real pastors don't hawk their mass-marketed shit in magazines.
* Article: "Why Would God Do That?"
Beef: The daughter of Billy Graham attempts in only 2 short pages to tackle the theological topic of human suffering. Here's her gist: "I don't know why God lets bad things happen to good people. But when we ask "why?" God answers us by pointing to Jesus' saving work on the cross. You should just trust God." PASTORAL CARE: YOU'RE DOIN' IT WRONG. All I can say is, OMFG. Pastorally and theologically there are so many things wrong with this on so many levels. Lessons learned? If Christian theologians over the centuries can't answer that question in their many volumes written in response to genocide and torture, you probably can't explain it in two magazine pages. And whatever you tell people who are suffering, don't tell them what mini-Graham just said. Also, for the record, sometimes God is just silent. In the face of human atrocity, at times there is nothing to say because words are inadequate. God communicates in other ways instead.
In closing, I'm at a loss... I never want to receive this magazine again, and anyone who thinks this passes for a legit Christian publication is deceived. Although I will admit that it's not all bad: despite Warren's attempts to corner Obama on gay marriage and abortion in his "interview," he does state that sexism is wrong. That's a step in the right direction for Evanglicals, but damn, I am sick of baby steps. I do not have the patience for these folks yet.
P.S. Rick Warren, what the fuck are you doing sending this stuff all over the country? Who do you think you're pastoring anyway? A "Christian nation"? The President? FYI, the bigger your head gets, the more street cred you lose... and theological credibility for that matter.