resolutions update #1: food
So Stephen and I fought again about our favorite subject... food. As most of you know, his extensive food allergies make life really difficult food-wise. A lot of poor people fill up on bread and pasta. This does not work when you're allergic to wheat. Thank goodness Stephen starts tomorrow at Fallon Ambulance in Quincy (for you non-Bostonians, that's pronounced KWIN-zee), so now we can at least afford to fund his gigantic appetite. At any rate, our usual Sunday plan failed today, which caused the fight. Stephen forgot to eat lunch and got really cranky; I foraged for lunch as usual, and then when dinner at church rolled around, green beans were in the soup and Stephen couldn't eat it. He was in no mood to make new plans and I was at a loss when he rejected every one of my suggestions. We finally found a dump-and-heat option, but I was halfway through my Progresso and toast when he joined me in the kitchen.
Part of *our* New Year's resolution was to organize not just our life but our eating... and stop eating crap. We're both sick of resorting to junk food, and sick of how our bodies feel when we "get by" on ramen/ rice noodles and chicken nuggets. We started out by outlining a typical week, finding it necessary to cook for both of us on 4 days per week. We each take two days to cook, and use a rotating schedule of 12 meals over the course of three weeks in order to prevent (my) boredom. Stephen tried the new recipe I made for this week's bag lunches and declared that when I do cook I make delicious food. But when "the plan" fell through, as tonight illustrated, we didn't hold out so well. I'm still as motivated as ever to really find some solutions during my upcoming appointment with the BU dietician. He's convinced it won't work out... there are so many issues that make food at our house so complicated:
* his allergies combined with (wheat-caused?) asthma and eczema make his body run in a state of auto-immune "red alert" and constantly work to heal the tiny wounds all over his body... meaning that he needs 4x (or more) energy in a day than I do.
* I have a history with eating disorders... food + control + Carolyn = Trifecta of Disaster.
* I would be a lacto-ovo vegetarian if I could. (I have given up my food preferences so that we can eat the same meals.)
* we both still have our pickinesses... I hate mushrooms and beets but love asparagus and lettuce (he's the opposite); we both hate peas.
You can see how we're in a pickle (pun half-assedly intended). I actually don't expect the BU person to help us all that much; really I'm looking for a referral to the celiac/gluten intolerance specialist at Beth-Israel Deaconess. Hey, if you've got the experts right down the street and a referral will get you a co-pay arrangement, do it! Le sigh. I knew food was going to be *the* issue in our house... somehow all the things most couples fight about always lead back to food for us. It's just particularly challenging for me because all my control issues get expressed through food. And you know how most people put on weight when they get married because of all their meal and snack rituals? Yeah, food doesn't bond us, it pulls us apart.
Don't get me wrong... it's not as if there's something major wrong with "us." We bond over other stuff, like movies and TV involving Muppets, and having the saltwater reef (even if our tank is only 3 gallons). I just wish food wasn't THE issue, you know? I'm sick of it being me vs. food all the time. And I want him to be healthy (read: be around in another 50 years)... we both need to be healthy and feel healthy so we're not miserable. But how?
Part of *our* New Year's resolution was to organize not just our life but our eating... and stop eating crap. We're both sick of resorting to junk food, and sick of how our bodies feel when we "get by" on ramen/ rice noodles and chicken nuggets. We started out by outlining a typical week, finding it necessary to cook for both of us on 4 days per week. We each take two days to cook, and use a rotating schedule of 12 meals over the course of three weeks in order to prevent (my) boredom. Stephen tried the new recipe I made for this week's bag lunches and declared that when I do cook I make delicious food. But when "the plan" fell through, as tonight illustrated, we didn't hold out so well. I'm still as motivated as ever to really find some solutions during my upcoming appointment with the BU dietician. He's convinced it won't work out... there are so many issues that make food at our house so complicated:
* his allergies combined with (wheat-caused?) asthma and eczema make his body run in a state of auto-immune "red alert" and constantly work to heal the tiny wounds all over his body... meaning that he needs 4x (or more) energy in a day than I do.
* I have a history with eating disorders... food + control + Carolyn = Trifecta of Disaster.
* I would be a lacto-ovo vegetarian if I could. (I have given up my food preferences so that we can eat the same meals.)
* we both still have our pickinesses... I hate mushrooms and beets but love asparagus and lettuce (he's the opposite); we both hate peas.
You can see how we're in a pickle (pun half-assedly intended). I actually don't expect the BU person to help us all that much; really I'm looking for a referral to the celiac/gluten intolerance specialist at Beth-Israel Deaconess. Hey, if you've got the experts right down the street and a referral will get you a co-pay arrangement, do it! Le sigh. I knew food was going to be *the* issue in our house... somehow all the things most couples fight about always lead back to food for us. It's just particularly challenging for me because all my control issues get expressed through food. And you know how most people put on weight when they get married because of all their meal and snack rituals? Yeah, food doesn't bond us, it pulls us apart.
Don't get me wrong... it's not as if there's something major wrong with "us." We bond over other stuff, like movies and TV involving Muppets, and having the saltwater reef (even if our tank is only 3 gallons). I just wish food wasn't THE issue, you know? I'm sick of it being me vs. food all the time. And I want him to be healthy (read: be around in another 50 years)... we both need to be healthy and feel healthy so we're not miserable. But how?